Prison pen pal?

Question

I really need some help. I am from the UK and back in May while taking time off work, I got on a website and sent an inmate in Florida Reception Centre an email. Yesterday I got home from work to find he had written! I was excited, scared but really enjoying the danger. Is there stuff i need to know? If you write to a pen pal can you give me some advice to keep myself safe and also do guards read letters all that kind of stuff. thanks - Cjay

I am not lonley i am a proffessional person so not thick anyway. I would never give my number and i used a PO box number. I know why he is in as i looked it up on the website for the prison. Could a distance friendship be really that bad? It is not love or me looking for it.

Does anyone read your profile, thanks for the advice about skiing i have been sking twice a year for years! I am an independant strong british women who thought i could support someone in a worse of situation than me. I am aware crimes have been committed but I am not dull, I am a child protection officer and have many men try to con me on a daily basis is never works!

Thanks for all your answers though i do appreciate them and ALL your views.

What led to me contacting a prison penpal?
I was doing research for a book about death row. (this inmate is not death row) I wanted to find out more about prison in the US. I was hoping i could find out more this way.

Answer 1

Hi, You've done a very generous thing, but if you're looking for "spice" and "danger" I'm afraid you're going to grow bored very quickly... most inmate correspondance is pretty mundane... I talk with my pen pals about books, philosophy, movies, pretty much anything and everything except their crimes... We got that topic cleared up and off the table early.
Yes, the letters are inspected, both incoming and outgoing, mostly just to make sure that there is no contraband enclosed and that you're not hatching any escape plans.
Sounds like by keeping personal information to yourself and using a POBox, you're already taking the proper precautions to prevent any problems.
You do sometimes hear of terrible tragedies arising from pen pal relationships, but it's extremely rare and the odds of someone crossing the Atlantic upon release, bent on mischief or malice, are very long odds, indeed.
The more common pitfall is to get nickled and dimed to death by requests for money or goods... don't fall for it! If you can afford it and want to do so, sending a moderate gift for holidays or birthdays is a lovely thing to do but do not be moved by pleas to send anything regularly...If he asks for things often, he's NOT in this for the friendship... the exception might be made for reasonable amounts of writing materials and postage, or a small sum of money from time to time to purchase these things- Many inmates are indigent and if that's the case, it would be a kindness to make it easy for him to keep up the exchange-
My own experiences have been very pleasant and rewarding, and the fellows to whom I write are tickled to bits on the rare occassions when I send a little surprise- Postage stamps, the occassional book, stationery and the like- and the only thing I've ever been asked for was a few months ago, a pen pal who has become a dear friend asked if I could please send a specific book to a friend of his for that friend's birthday.
If you'd like to talk with a wider group of inmate pen pals, please visit http://prisontalk.com/forums/forumdisplay.php?s=&daysprune=-1&f=297

Answer 2

1

Answer 3

Girls In Prison Pen Pals

Answer 4

1. He's in prison for a reason. He may very well get paroled soon, if he's a good actor in front of the panel.

2. He knows where you live now and will need a place to stay. You've opened the door and invited him into your life. It sounds like you are on your own. If you can move, I would.

3. He has no marketable skills, other than his criminal activities. Criminals will never admit they committed the crime. They are sociopathic, or psychopathic, in nature, incapable of remorse. I call it 'Scrambled Eggs' at conception.

4. American jails have all kinds of corrupt goings-on within, ways of making weapons, smuggling in drugs and other paraphernalia. Some guards are corrupt.

5. Stop correspondence immediately. This is not a healthy type of danger excitement'. Ride the rollercoaster, or something else.

6. How about writing someone with similar hobbies, who you can share tips, photos of works in progress, or whatever. Play it safe.

Good Luck and Warm Regards!

Answer 5

I am curious what it was to lead you up to searching for a pen pal in prison. I am also curious as to what the inmate was convicted for. Most people that go to prison are repeat offenders, are excellent con-artists, and most seek financial help from their pen pals. Yes, they are lonely, and yes they need outside contact. But that is for the inmates family to deal with.
I really suggest that you keep your distance. I had a family member in prison, have visited many times, and am very aware of how it is on the inside, and how the department of corrections operates. IT WOULD BE BEST NOT TO BECOME INVOLVED!, IN ANY WAY! Also, it is incoming mail that is read, not outgoing. Even though you have a P.O Box, he has your first and last name, and your city and state. It won't be hard for him to find you, and all his "home boys" too, don't think he doesn't have felon buddies on the outside too. WRITE "MOVED" ON THE ENVELOPE AND SEND IT BACK.

Answer 6

Why do you need to be scared and enjoy danger? You not only need to focus of your safety but also focus on how to have a healthy, loving (but maybe boring) long-term relationship with a man that is not in prison. Take up skiing or some other semi-dangrous sport to give you a sense of excitement without compromising your home security.

It is not the distance relationship that is bad, but why seek a relationship with someone who flaunts the rules of society?

Also, keep in mind that in the USA there is plea bargaining. I am familiar with the case of a girl who was brutally murdered by sticking a gun in her mouth and shooting her. There were 4 people involved. One was convicted of the murder. One was never charged because he told the story which led to arresting and charging the others. One plead guilty to accessory after the fact and was on a tether until he got probation. He had held the girl's arms so she could not move and then helped burn the evidence. It costs a lot of money to prosecute someone and keep them in prison ($30,000 per year apr). That is why Florida has released many prisoners to balance their budget. The guy who held the girl's arms was on 3 websites looking for pen pals.

You have no idea of what the person with whom you are corresponding is involved with. He made a choice to disobey laws and it was severe enough that the state decided to spend the money for the investigation and prosecution. A jury decided that there was enough evidence to convict him. Is this what you are looking for in a distance relationship?

Answer 7

First of all, in some prisons, the prison guards do inspect and read inmates correspondence, outgoing and incoming. Supposedly, this is done for security reasons. Using a PO Box will protect your privacy somewhat. But what if your name and address are listed in your local telephone directory. Or suppose this person is released and comes to your community searching for you. People are not that difficult to find these days, especially with the assistance of a computer. I have no idea what you're hoping to gain from pen-palling with this person, but stay focused. However, just because he is in prison does not make him a creep. You've got to consider what he is in there for and the circumstances surrounding his alleged crime against society. It's unclear what he hopes to gain by pen palling with you, but I can share some ideas with you. When I was in prison, I searched for pen pals to help relieve the boredom, and to help me learn different points of views, because I knew my points of views at the time were warped. Some pen pals I would send poetry and love letters to. Some pen pals I would send freaky, horny letters to. And some pen pals I would send respectful down to earth letters to. It all depended on my mood at the time. I found the experience very rewarding, because some of my pen pals ( total strangers ) helped me turn my life around. That was in 1970, and because of their support, and my will power, I have never returned to prison. Understand this, rehabilitation induced by prison is a farce. Prisons don't rehabilitate people. Compassion, patience, understanding and people rehabilitate people. If you choose to pen pal with this individual, search yourself and learn why. Then stay true to your reasons. Stay focused on protecting your privacy at all times and you should be fine. If you have the time, consider a face-to-face visit with him, which could answer many of your questions and cure many of your curiosities. Have no fear about doing so, as prison is one of the safest places on this planet to visit. Good luck.

Answer 8

You must be really lonely. First of all you did not specify in your original story that it was for research and I feel you are just saying it that because of the negative reaction that you are getting. Only thing you said is that you were enjoying the danger so why are you so shocked that people answered the question like we did? If you are doing it for research why are you overly concerned about what we have to say because you should be asking your pen pal questions about how things are going on in jail because every jail has it own set of rules and regulations. There are more safer ways to give back to the unfortunate like donating to charities and in my opinion depending on the crime, people in prison are not the unfortunate, the people that are affected when they broke they law are the unfortunate.

Answer 9

Why would you be talking to someone in prison? Most likely they are there for a reason. I wonder if you're talking about the famous "pen pal murderer" that was roaming the streets of liverpool a few years back.

Answer 10

First of all yes it is very dangerous, you need to know what that person is in for, and don't let him tell you, he may not be telling the truth. I had a prison pen pal, and let me tell you what he did, he gave all he's intimates my address and they were writing to me and they wanted to see me when they got out. You need to be very, very, very, careful, if you want good advise, stop writing. Also guards to read some of the letters, if not all. Be safe!