I think my husband has an anger/temper problem, he tells me that he is normal and that EVERYONE gets mad and I make his outbursts to be more than they are...in the last two years he has: punched the steering wheel in his truck, thrown his wedding ring at me, slammed his fists down on tables, slammed doors, crushed a bag of potato chips dumped it all over my living room floor,threatened to get rid of my cat, thrown all of my stuff outside the apartmentment and locked me out, rammed a chair into the table, thrown tv remote, kicked shoes, curses saying "**** you", has told me to shut up, and has thrown his video game remote on the ground breaking it, and hit plate of cookies across the room.I tell him I'm concerned about his temper but he says he not as bad as most, and says because he does not do this EVERYDAY its not a big deal, then he tells me that everyone gets mad. I am concerend but he blows off my conerns, is he trying install fear in me by acting like this? How bad is this?
2006-09-20 07:18:34 · 27 answers · asked by ilih2006 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I certainly wouldn't live with someone like that.
It's not fair to you to be afraid of your husband. He may not think that his outbursts are a big deal, but if he really wanted to be a good husband he would try to understand the effect that his actions are having on you and try to better control himself so that you feel safe and loved and not afraid.
You likely won't be able to change him - he will have to find a way to see the problem and want to change for this to truly get better longterm.
Don't be shy to seek therapy or somekind of assistance for how you can best deal with this. You need to look out for and take care of yourself.
Good Luck!
2006-09-20 07:25:51 · answer #1 · answered by ms_know_it_all 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be there for her and try and get her to talk to her parents... By her talking to them gives her more options on wether or not she wants to keep it or even adoption she has more options now than she will later. Her parents will find out eventually just make sure it's not to late. And be a good friend and try and help/guide her to make the choices she wants and not what anyone "wants" her to do because she am has to deal with it later on in life no matter what she decides... And like the girl before said her parents will grow to the idea and yes there's a chance they'll loose it but the won't hurt her or the baby. So encourage her to make her decisions that will benefit her in the end.
2016-03-26 23:12:57 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is not normal behavior. Your husband is exhibiting signs of being an abuser. If he is threatening you or making you feel afraid then it is a problem. I would recommend seeking help. See a counselor or at least talk to a trusted friend. Sure everyone gets upset from time to time but that's no excuse to throw things or threaten you or lock you outside. This is abuse. Please see the websites I've listed so that you can get some advice on how to keep yourself safe. Don't wait--you are not alone and there are people who are trained to help people in situations like yours. Please get some help!
2006-09-20 07:31:59 · answer #3 · answered by dcns 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was just like him and I did not want to admit that I had an anger problem. Most of the time I was just as nice and calm as you could wish for, but at certain times my temper would explode. I argued because of pride that I did not have a problem and it is hard to admit that something might be wrong. I felt like a failure, I felt like there was something that I could fix, but my wife did not have enough faith in me and it just spiralled down from there. He needs help, just like I did, but the biggest problem is going to get him to admit it. If he admits it without you prompting it, then it will be his idea and easier for him to swallow, but if you try to force it, stand by for resistance and probably another outburst.
You need to be concerned for your safety and that of your children if you have any...Next time it happens, you need to leave and not come back until you know for certain he is getting help. It will escalate and it could be very dangerous for you. Why do I say "next time"? That is only if you feel you are safe, if you fear for your safety, leave now and tell him to get help. Love him enough to stay away until he gets help... If you come back on a promise you are in danger... You need to go talk to a counsoler as well, they can help you. Although you do not say that you have been physically abused, go talk to someone at a women's shelter, they have all kinds of wonderful resources that can help you get pointed in the right direction. Don't wait until you are a physcial victim. Praying for you...
2006-09-20 07:36:21 · answer #4 · answered by Suthern R 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Anger Management Training needs to be in his immediate future.
He is acting very childishly. There will come a time, maybe not so far away, where this will escalate into a fist to the face. He needs to get this cured quickly. Its clear that he is becoming out of control. This may not be because of anything you've done. It could be job or life stress. Taking it out on inanimate objects is not a good sign. Get him in training quickly or get away.
2006-09-20 07:33:42 · answer #5 · answered by Flagger 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is VERY bad. This is NOT normal behavior, any one of these things you just described would indicate a problem. Taken together, they point to the fact that your husband has very serious issues that he is unwilling or unable to face. It's possible that he grew up in an environment where such things were tolerated or common. But it's certainly not common or tolerable among normal people.
2006-09-20 07:24:26 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like a fun guy to be with... ok...normal is the norm...maybe the majority does get mad all the time..does that make it allright? "Everyone" is a bit of a generalisation no? I don't do stuff like that... He better gets something to ventilate his frustration and anger in like a sport or a punkband or whatever... but not take it out on you or in the house...get an open fire and let him chop the wood for the whole winter...
2006-09-20 07:37:15 · answer #7 · answered by Dr Benway 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
He is in need of help ... or needs to grow up ... and you remember everything he has done wrong over the last two years.... every guy likes a gal like that. Maybe you should stay together after all and save two other innocent people.
2006-09-20 07:35:52 · answer #8 · answered by Mad_Anthony 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
His temper will get the better of him one of these days. He will not mean what he does and apologize after. He does have a problem with his temper. Stay away from him when he blows.
2006-09-20 07:21:49 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's in denial. I don't think he's trying to instill fear in you as much as he has an impulse control issue. He should take anger management classes. My father had severe anger issues until he was forced to take the classes through his work. He was a changed man after them. It was odd. But they work.
2006-09-20 07:20:40 · answer #10 · answered by C K Platypus 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋