I love funny sayings. My personal favorite is "Does a bear crap in the woods?" for when someone asks you a question and your answer is yes. What are some other funny sayings that you use or have heard?
2006-09-20 07:07:58 · 20 answers · asked by GottaGoToGalveston 2 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Other - Entertainment
One of the funniest/strangest thing I ever heard was when I sat behind two women on a bus. One woman said to the other (in a voice that was very slow and dim), 'She said I was stupid.' The other woman replied, 'Yeah?' 'Yeah!' said number one. 'But I had my answer ready for her!' 'Did ya?' 'Yeah! I said, 'Oh no I'm not!'
2006-09-20 07:12:22 · answer #1 · answered by Never Going Back 2 · 3⤊ 3⤋
Enjoy!
* He who laughs last thinks slowest.
* Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film.
* A day without sunshine is like, well, night.
* On the other hand, you have different fingers.
* Change is inevitable except from a vending machine.
* I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
* When the chips are down, the buffalo is empty.
* Seen it all, done it all, can't remember most of it.
* Those who live by the sword... get shot by those who don't.
* I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
* He's not dead... he's electroencephalographically challenged.
* You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.
* I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.
* Honk if you love peace and quiet.
* Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how it remains so popular?
* Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.
* It is hard to understand how a cemetery raised its burial cost and blamed it on the cost of living.
* The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.
* It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try and pass them.
* You can't have everything....where would you put it?
* Latest survey shows that 3 out of 4 people make up 75% of the world's population.
* The things that come to those who wait, may be the things left by those who got there first.
* A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
* It was recently discovered that research causes cancer in rats.
* I wished the buck stopped here as I could use a few.
* I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.
* Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
2006-09-20 07:12:13 · answer #2 · answered by Bad Kitty! 7 · 6⤊ 2⤋
This Site Might Help You.
RE:
Funniest sayings you've ever heard?
I love funny sayings. My personal favorite is "Does a bear crap in the woods?" for when someone asks you a question and your answer is yes. What are some other funny sayings that you use or have heard?
2015-08-18 23:36:16 · answer #3 · answered by Catlaina 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Funny Does A Sayings
2016-11-07 09:36:17 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
1. Slam Bam Inna Can 2. Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? 'cuz it looks like you landed on your face! 3. Skadoosh! 4. How is it when you run into a spider web you automatically turn into a ninja?!
2016-03-16 02:59:55 · answer #5 · answered by Deborah 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When we were kids and we'd spill something, my mother would say, "Oh, well, you'd have done the same thing if you'd been at a wedding." It just made no sense!
2006-09-20 07:11:15 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
It's not a "yes" question, but I heard once "Who lit the fuse at the end of your tampon?" I thought it was funny...for those moments when somebody's being a real witch!
2006-09-20 07:10:26 · answer #7 · answered by ? 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Not a saying , so to speak but, there's this stupid little joke I just love....it goes ..
**A horse walks into a bar and orders a drink........the bartender asks ..."Why the long face?" LOL LOLOLOLOLL....I hope you got it!! I really don't know why it's so funny to me, but inevitably, it is.
If I think of any funny sayings (I do know a lot, just can't remember) , I'll add......:)
2006-09-20 07:13:24 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 4⤋
''what did you have this morning Carnation Instant ******''?
2006-09-20 09:34:49 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
My favorite saying is "Whatever blows your hair back." Basically another way to say "Whatever floats your boat."
But I thought you might get a kick out of this too...
Man: Hello.
Woman: Hi.
Man: You smell nice.
Woman: You must be mistaken.
Man: No, really, your scent is phenomenal.
Woman: No, really, I just farted...
2006-09-20 07:23:11 · answer #10 · answered by sensualchocolate04 1 · 7⤊ 1⤋