To all the women out there...?

Question

I often hear women talk about how they look for a "good" man. Definitions of what constitutes a "good" man varies. Yet from my observations a good man is not what women tend to gravitate towards. In my experience, most women gravitate towards the "dangerous" man. The bad boy who is more likely to treat a woman like dirt is often pursued rather than the "good guy" that is always overlooked. It seems to me that the "good guy" always finishes last. Can anyone explain this to me?

Answer 1

This question can be answered by male or female.

Understand this....

You seem to be assuming every woman/man has the ability to make healthy decisions about relationships. Due to unresolved issues people tend to make choices about relationships that clearly are (to most sane people) MESSED UP!

Some really "good" guys gravitate toward and stay with woman who are flat out NO GOOD. They choose to participate in a co-dependant relationship for years. Most sane women will look at a man in a situation like that and say or think to themselves... .. "Why are you with her or why continue to stay with her"

Some women with unresolved issues do the same thing. It's all about how people truly view themselves and/or their concept, knowledge and experience with healthy, meaningful or loving relationships. Growing up these men/women may not have ever experienced a healthy relationship that was free from drama, free from anger and hostility etc. So they gravitate to what's comfortable and familiar... even though deep down they want something better.

Also, some people were never shown what true love is by their parents or family members. Without having that as a resource and also not having the necessary acceptance and love needed to grow they become self destructive and set up shop with a person that will either control them or will treat them like dirt. If they've only been exposed to pain and drama that's what they invite into their lives, and it's hard for them to change the behavior because they're not aware they have these issues... so the situation will recycles over and over again and they'll continue to choose crazy, unstable, dangerous, co-dependant relationships.

Then there are the plain ole sad set of folk that just enjoy tampering with dangerous people becaue it gives them a stupid thrill or it makes them feel alive with excitement. They need people like that to combat the "bordum" in their life and life (as they view it) going on around them. Those kinds of people may have had the most healthiest of family relationships and no tramatic issues growing up... but they still make these reckless relationship decisions that defy human logic. To those men and woman you just have to look at them and say to yourself... ... "What in the World...."?

Answer 2

Yes I can. At least I can do my best using my years observing friends that have dated. No, I never have dated, which makes my opinion unbiased. Ok. Girls like a guy that's daring, cunning, fun, that lives on the "edge." Those personality charateristics often define your typical "bad boy." Take all of those characteristics and add it to your typical definition of a "good boy." Good boy as in: Smart, romantic, funny, basically prince charming with a ton of stability. Stability and "daring, and living on the edge" usually don't get along very well. As you have probably noticed. In their teenage years, a girl is more likely to pick a "bad boy" because she considers him more "exciting." These relationships always end in chaos and heartbreak. When a girl hits her twentys she usually wises up about guys and wants more stability in her life. Women usually find guys that are stable much more attractive when they (the girls) are older. Be patient. The right girl will come along when both she and you become mature enough to handle each other. God Bless!

Answer 3

Both sexes have this problem. A man also wants a really sexy woman who is confident and independent, yet has never slept with another man and can't make a decision without him.

I'll bet that you don't give ugly or fat women a chance, do you? You want a good-looking woman. Well, they want the bad boys because they're exciting. Beautiful women are used to having a lot of attention. They need excitement in a relationship because they are used to getting a lot of attention and special treatment every day. Their boyfriend must offer more.

It's people in general. They want to have their cake and eat it, too.

Answer 4

What I was looking for was the good guy deep down inside. A Man that knows he's a Man and knows what he likes and wants. An adventureous Manly Man that would share the adventure with me. A Skilled and knowledgable man, but still has heart to care about my opinion and thoughts too and be willing to consider the differences before making a decision.

I don't believe any woman ever wants to be treated like dirt or that they're worthless. There are times you might like to roleplay that bad guy attitude, but we'd really like to just be swept off our feet with passion and desire with a real man that knows what he likes.....and we're it!

Answer 5

I cannot explain this to you,but I definately agree with you. It is a habit we all get into is what I always hear.One that is hard to break.I am the one that always thinks I can "fix" things and tend to gravitate towards those with how they were hurt etc,. How nieve,right? I know this now and am trying to get away from what I always tend to fall for,but I am trying to learn here and want to find that good guy because I know I am a good woman and have been waiting long enough.......

Answer 6

Often the “whys” of life is a question that isn’t ‘answerable’ and perhaps shouldn’t be either. Or at least the answer is of little importance when compared to other factors, such as knowing the situation exists over knowing why it does.

From your scenario the thing I see is that such a woman in your personal life is a woman you’re already aware of being unsuitable with regard to your deep involvement. Meaning she isn’t worth investing your emotions in in the first place. Instead, keep your eyes open for that woman along your path that is ready for “a good guy” in her life!

Good luck~

Answer 7

I think that in the beginning a girl loves that bad boy image, but once she has been hurt a time or two, believe me she searches for the good guy. I have a great guy that in the beginning was one of those bad boys. He grew up and turned out to be the greatest man. Be patient the women will figure it out eventually.

Answer 8

I always explain this here I should have a hot key to put all the information in here daily for men like you.

The 'good guy' is generally a limp wiener. A doormat if you will. He lets people walk all over him and doesn't defend himself. A woman seeks protection. Physically, emotionally, and financially. These are hardwire programs. Lately, the only men who seem adequate to fill these positions of dominance are the risk takers and thrill seekers. These types also demand respect, and will not allow anyone to demean them or those things he holds dear. The key to getting respect is stubborness. Require those who would seek to deminish your value to respect you at all costs, even if it means terminating a date, or causing a wave in the flow of things. Women love men who demand respect and provide protection.

Answer 9

sometimes people mistake a "good guy" for a "boring as hell guy", it's not that women gravitate towards the dangerous, it's more like the quote, "dangerous" guy is more outgoing and women like men that will take them by the hand and say, "hey let's go (insert activity)."

If more nice guys were spontaneous and outgoing, maybe this wouldn't happen.

Answer 10

You r right there is nothing sexier than the " bad boy " but this kind of guy is disposable u have to dump him sooner or later bcuz no women wants to be treated like dirt !!!
the good man in my opinion has to be :
1- not very handsome ( it's not his fault but girls r whores ) but has to be tallllllll
3- loaded
4- great in bed
5-educated and knows how to treat a woman
6- funny and life loving
I guess this is pretty much it but believe me it's not so hard to get THE girl bcuz it's all about how u act