In this time I have fallen in love with someone else. I got married 7 years ago because I thought it was the right thing to do even thou I love my husband like a brother. I know I shouldn't have gotten married in the first place but I did. He never wanted kids because his career was to important. Now that I have found someone else he wants to work things out. I feel sorry for him and I don't want to hurt him but I truely love this other person VERY much. What do I do?
2006-09-20 06:43:12 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You have to be honest, and explain it to him, and if he is as great as you say he is, I would like to think he would want you to be happy also... he must understand you both want very different things in life.
It may take time, he will certainly be hurt... but in time will grow to understand.
Try don't expect to be friends for the first while.... even if you are amicable currently, he may have resentment he will need to work through, but in time since he is 'brother like' you may find in time once he is in a new relationship also, that you can become friendly, who knows.
I wish you all of the best =)
2006-09-20 06:45:24 · answer #1 · answered by ♥ goddessofraine ♥ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have been out for a year and know you aren't going back , get the divorce. Put the other guy on temporary hold until that is done. If it is meant to be he will wait. As for husband, he was okay being married but not living together? Time to finish it. He should have asked you back long ago if it is what he really wanted.
What ever you do DO NOT FOLLOW YOUR HEART. Doing that clouded your judgement in the first place. Do what your head says is right for you. You will be a lot further ahead in the long run.
2006-09-20 14:18:55 · answer #2 · answered by Flagger 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, if it didn't work the first time it probably wouldn't work this time. Tell him that you have moved on and you want a real chance at happiness. Tell him that you want kids and a future with someone else. Plain and simple honesty is the best. The honesty may hurt him but it is a hurt that he can recover from quickly. Lying or hiding the truth and leading him on, hurts much more and takes a lot longer to get over.
2006-09-20 14:13:31 · answer #3 · answered by heaven o 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Personally, I married someone who didnt want kids ever, and for years we argued, nearly split, and i cried over it. But now we're pregnant and he's estatic.
Anyway, I make commitments for life, regardless of how young and stupid i was at the time. i cannot imagine leaving my husband for any reason.
I be more likely to put things on hold with this other guy and try to work things out with my husband. Since thats where my original comittment lies. Love is subjective, we decide to love or not love. It doesnt seem like it at the time, but its true.
Thats my personal opinion, and i bet you ten bucks of all the answers iam the only one rooting for your hubby. :)
2006-09-20 13:47:10 · answer #4 · answered by amosunknown 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think answer # 3 is right
you and your husband should both be willing to work at it.
you know what this is to serious for an answer from strangers b-cuz we dont know everything that happened
and i think you just want people to tell you what you wanna hear
take care..and learn from your mistakes so you wont repeat them...
i think you have your mind made up
try sending GOD a Knee-mail
about your need
2006-09-20 14:04:34 · answer #5 · answered by sHiNe 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell your husband the truth and get a divorce. There's no way that you can work this out without hurting someone. Rip the bandaid off and get it over with.
2006-09-20 13:51:55 · answer #6 · answered by C K Platypus 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i know this hurts but you cant drop everything for him. he needs to understand that you have moved on and YOUR happy. something that I learned and hurts is that you cant force anyone to love you and it hurts to love someone and not be loved back. i think that you need to give it sometime apart from seeing him because right now your just a tempatation to him and its going to continue hurting him. And believe me, hes never going to get over you and its always going to hurt him to see you with someone else. Not until he falls in love again, he'll have to move on. Your always going to have a big place for him in your heart and he will too.
2006-09-20 13:49:52 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
no kids??? I don't think anyone would blame you if you found your happiness with someone else. If you think you will not be able to love your husband like a husband, then move on.
kids makes the whole situation alot trickier.
2006-09-20 13:49:02 · answer #8 · answered by okiedokey 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since you and your husband are already separate, simply ask for a divorce so you can both move on with your lives. There's no sense in letting it drag on.
2006-09-20 13:48:06 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be honest with him and tell him that you have moved on with your life.Same thing happen to my friend her husband thought she would just sit around and wait for him to get himself together.Be happy and if it's with some one else I hope it works out for you.
2006-09-20 14:04:01 · answer #10 · answered by missmadhatter 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋