I am getting married soon, its an arranged marriage.. i want to be a most loving wife.. what all are the good qualities of a good wife? how to show that i love him and his family members? what all i have to do and wht i shouldnt do? can u describe something.. about life after marriage
2006-09-20 06:30:18 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I dont need answers like Dont marry and all, i just need advice from good couples how to live, how to behave , how to understand my man, divoriced guys and singles plz excuse
2006-09-20 06:35:14 · update #1
what are u freaking crazy--do not get married
2006-09-20 06:33:09 · answer #1 · answered by sunbun 6 · 0⤊ 4⤋
You will learn by the experience how to be good wife but couple whose wedding have been arranged according to the to supporters of the practice, are likely to succeed. The following are main reasons why arranged marriages work as well as they do:
1. Reduction or elimination of incompatibilities: Since marital incompatibility has been found to be the major reason for divorce, arranged marriages ensure a much higher probability of success because they tend to match persons of the same religion, caste, dietary preference, linguistic group, age group, socio-economic background, education, professional status, physical stature, etc.
2. What is idealistically called "love" and "individual choice" is often the infatuation of the moment, which often passes when it is too late and the marriage has already taken place. Having elders review the prospective spouse and their family is a kind of "due diligence" that needs to take place.
3. Lower divorce rates:Though this factor has been under-researched, many proponents of arranged marriages attribute near zero percent divorce rates to couple that have had arranged marriages (in contrast to a 50% divorce rate for their Western counterparts). In India, the divorce rate is very low, even in love-marriages (although for love marriages the divorce rate is higher than for arranged marriages). This is often attributed to the fact that couples who enter into arranged marriages (in contrast to forced marriages where there is a higher risk of domestic violence/dispute) are usually more "traditional" and less likely to forfeit a marriage.
4. Low expectations: Neither the man nor the woman knows quite what to expect, and there is a lot of understandable trepidation on both sides. This often works out well, because things turn out to be "not so bad after all".
2006-09-20 06:41:23 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
arranged marriage...wow you are brave! Don't worry a minute more...with your attitude you will be fine! First look into the Bible
it will tell you the type of woman to be, and how to be a wonderful wife! Second look into the laws where you will be living and find out your rights before you say I-DO! Third do some research on your new hubby and see if there is a trail of women before you that he has left behind...and in what condition they are in now and why there is a trail at all...and NO don't do your research through your hubby...he can tell you anything he wants and you are to trust him. So before you go around wanting to be all you can be in an arranged marriage...seek legal counsel and do your research on this man....Do the words till death do ye part mean anything to you at all? Those are customary words you agree upon when you get married...perhaps you will be dead soon?
Yes I am trying to scare you...but only into thinking...and protecting yourself. The woman being a weaker vessel usually than the man...can find herself in some unexpected predicament!
2006-09-20 06:39:01 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I too had the same doubts when I was getting married. But things dont actually work out as planned. I went crazy, got into depression and felt like a freak. I dont want to scare you but five years down the line all I can say that marriage is all about love and mutual respect. Be yourself (since you mention family members also) and conduct yourself with dignity and self respect. initially you are going to be constantly judged but gradually people will accept you as you are and will learn to love and respect you.
2006-09-20 21:07:03 · answer #4 · answered by pakir poyum 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YOu are probebly from India right? Well you are playing russian roulette but you have a 50/50 chance that you could end up with a really great guy or a really bad guy. In either case, just make sure he respects you and who you are. Indian men can be very old fashioned and closed minded. Just don't let him boss you around that's all. Make sure he gives you sex when you want it and not just when he wants it. make sure he helps you out in small ways around the house. Make sure he cares for you.
I don't think you are in love with the guy yet since it's arranged marriage. that takes time. you first need to get to know each other well and you'll really see who you are when you live to gether.good luck!
2006-09-20 06:48:02 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marriage is one of the best things someone could ever have. I have been with my boyfriend forever and when he pops the question, I am going to be so happy. Congratulations. I say that to be a good and ideal wife, you should be patient, learn how to understand him and his family, his family plays an important role because you are going to have to learn to be around them often. Another thing is to have control, do not get mad easily and snap when you get upset. Let him know how you feel and what you think about everything. In Marriage, you are one, you share, you love eachother like ur own self, so respect him and when u have children, learn to be patient and a good mom, do not beat you're kids and things like that...
2006-09-20 06:43:04 · answer #6 · answered by LoveBug 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You've already gone a long way toward pleasing. You care about his opinion. When asked what I want from my wife the answer is always the same, moral support, a mother for my children and a whore in bed.
Make sure you love him, the family will come along. Make sure that you don't forget to be your own person. We can hire people to be and do what they are told. Men need their wives to give them honest opinions regarding their lives. That does not mean nagging or trying to change him. It means that there are times when he will need a different viewpoint about things to make the correct decision about things.
Marriage is about compromise and cooperation. It must go both ways.
Good Luck
2006-09-20 07:00:51 · answer #7 · answered by Flagger 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WOW,that covers a lot of areas!Just be yourself and know that good qualities are,in part:
listening actively
making decisions together
household upkeep
cooking,baking
loyalty and trustworthiness
kindness
understanding
learning about his goals and dreams,
and sharing yours.
Some of these will show that you love him and his family members,perhaps over time it will occur naturally for you.
Try not to be:
argumentative,(but do state your opinion).
overwhelmed by all the new challenges
all about him,forgetting your own needs-most men like independent women
Life after marraige can be rewarding and wonderful.It does take alot of commitment and work on both sides.Every day when I wake up I make sure to run down a list of my blessings,to prepare for another thankful day or to fall back onto that list if it's a tough day.
Good Luck!!
2006-09-20 06:40:20 · answer #8 · answered by lotsalovetanya 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Communicate to learn what your husband likes and does not like and just make little gestures. Cook meals he likes, offer to go to movies or sports events he likes (or whatever he is into). Buy him things he likes. Scratch his head or rub his back. Marriage can be a beautiful thing if you realize two things
1 - Both of you should realize you will not be satisfied and fulfilled by eachother because your relationship with God is the main staple of your life and the one thing that can really fulfill you.
2 - Even though you cannot be the single source of joy for one another you should both put making each other happy first. If you look out for each other and are kind to each other putting the needs of one another before your own your love with grow and be beautiful.
2006-09-20 06:36:44 · answer #9 · answered by JenaMarie 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
well. Some cultures are really big on the "Wife" doing all the house hold cleaning. Some cultures aren't. it just depends... Umm. In my marriage, I do the dishes the laundry, vacuum. stuff like that. I cook for him. I serve him. Some people see that as controlling but I enjoy it, He helps me. it's really good to have a relationship that is 50/50 so the things I just named, he does them too. If they are 50/50 you won't feel taken advantage of and there won't be any tension. Um.. Just tell him everyday that you love him, never go to bed angry or fighting. so in other words, Tell him that you love him when you go to bed and when he leaves. for the family members. just go to all of the "family activities" help them set stuff up, just treat them like you would your family, respect and love. talk to each other about everything, if something is bothering you tell him, and if something is bothering him, be there for him and listen, don't take offense. Married life is wonderful.
2006-09-20 06:36:14 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Marriage is great for me but......I knew my husband and fell in love with him because I wanted to. Not because I was being forced. There are many ways you can be a good wife and it all comes natural. Loving your man is one but everything needs to be 50/50 in order to have a good marriage and in order to make it work. Respect and consideration for both is another. But you will see soon and I hope and wish nothing but happiness for you
2006-09-20 06:34:50 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋