Lying, cheating, stealing or do you deal with it all because he/she is your spouse and the mother/father to your children?
2006-09-20 05:58:36 · 29 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Just because it is your spouse doesn't give them the right to walk all over you.
2006-09-20 06:00:26 · answer #1 · answered by faith 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I draw the line at the point my wife would do something she knows would hurt me. If she is deliberatly hiding something that would cause me emotional pain that is wrong. But anything that does not bother me then i have no problem with it. As for lying she doesn't lie to me there is no need we are very open. Cheating we have threesomes so we kinda both cheat on each other but it doesn't hurt anyone. If me or her either one had sex with someone else behind the others back that would be wrong. And stealing i don't care as long as it doesn't cause any problems i don't think she would steal anyway. Everything has extinuating cricumstances so it would be difficult for me to say exactly where i would draw the line.
2006-09-20 06:06:30 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
spouses should treat each other better than they treat anyone elese being married doesnt give you the right to do bad things if anything you shouldnt do those thing b/c they are your spouse i would never put up with such mess besides what kind of person do your childern see you as a lie and a cheat or a door mat either way yur not being a good example for the kids
2006-09-20 06:52:01 · answer #3 · answered by Msdeb gee 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he is lying, cheating and or stealing then he really doesn't want to be with me or a father/mother. We set examples for our child that is what must come first. I would rather leave someone like that and show my child that you can make it with out someone like that then show it is o.k. cause it isn't. They need to bee shown by one parent that things don't go that way. I want my child to be the best person they can be and not to be someones doormat. So my line is when my spouse forgets to set a good example for our child and forgets that we are married.
2006-09-20 06:15:51 · answer #4 · answered by sscott12414 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well since my husband does non of those things I dont have to "deal" with it.
However my two previous husbands did, and as you can see I am no longer with them. I didnt deal with it because they were my spouse, I didnt deal with it for a while because on of them was the father of my children. But I soon learned that even when children need both a mom and a dad, they need more than anything RESPONSIBLE PARENTS.
I had to be the responsible parent and I am no longer with him.
2006-09-20 06:18:23 · answer #5 · answered by Shalamar Rue 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is how i feel about relationships: staying w/ someone because you love them is NOT helpful at all. u have to stay, and be w/ that person cuz you CHOOSE to. u Want to. when u do it for love, or cuz u already married him, or for the kids.. u end up resenting, u end up hating, u end up miserable. both people have to work dang Hard to keep the relationship alive!!! u have to Continuously CHOOSE to be w/ each other.... and do things to keep urself accountable, as well as each other. when u love and respect someone, u have Expectations of them (ie, NOT cheating, lying etc). if u didn't care about that person, u wouldn't care if they cheated or lied, cuz u have no respect for them! but since u married him, i'm assuming u DO have love and respect for him. so why let him STAY that kind of person?? being in a relationship is constantly trying to make yourself, and each other, BETTER. learn, grow, continulously, always better, positive, healthier. remember, if the relationship is not getting Better, u have a big problem. and staying in there "no matter what" is just prolonging ur Misery...cuz u are allowing that person to keep doing BAD , Negative things, instead of changing for the positive.
i think relationships Can get thru the hardest of times, IF and ONLY IF both people really want to work on the Relationship: first themselves, to make sure they are good partners. then, on each other, help each other to learn, to change, to be Healthy, Positive, and Happy. when u can respect, and trust each other that u both are working for something together, u can forgive. but if one person gives up, is lazy, or doesn't care, ur pretty much done. u should never stay "just because" of the kids, or just because u think u love them...if they loved you they would change. and a relationship is a 2 way street..u can't keep it alive on ur own. and kids can see when the parents are unhappy, it affects them tremendously (i know, i come from a divorced family!). if my parents stayed together, i know for a FACT i would be way more dysfunctional than i already am.
long story short, as long as u make sure YOU are a great person, woman, friend, mother, nurturer, Wife, than you Deserve a great person, man, friend, husband, provider, Husband. and u will not allow cheating or lying cuz YOU deserve better than that, and you want a man u can respect and Love and trust. he needs to appreciate that u are his wife, and do right by you. and u need to appreciate him as a hsuband, and do right by him. that's it. if someone is not doing his or her job, u better nip it in the bud, or it's time for a change.
good luck.
2006-09-20 06:08:24 · answer #6 · answered by sasmallworld 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I put up with it for too long and I say no more. Draw the line where you are comfortable. No one even your spouse can do that for you. If you can't tell them then move on. Pick up your stuff and leave before you become a doormat for them to walk on you for many years.
2006-09-20 12:59:54 · answer #7 · answered by hljones1169 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
None of the above is acceptable and all are deal breakers. However, when children are involved and at an age of understanding you have to consider the influence and example being set for them. In the end only you can decide what to do because only you will live with the consequences of your actions be it to stay with him or kick him out.
2006-09-20 06:18:39 · answer #8 · answered by GrnApl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
when you really sit down and think about what IS important to You...no one else...you, and be honest with yourself. Think about values that are important to you (and this does not mean that you are looking for perfection, because not one of us is perfect), think about your hopes and dreams and fears. Talk to your spouse. If your spouse is someone that You can respect and honor and someone that is a good role model for your children and someone that you want to share , live & explore your life with, and with joy and love & dignity & grace, in both hearts, if your spouse respects your chosen spirituality (and hopefully shares this with you), if then after looking at all these things, you still look at your spouse (and at yourself ) the same way...you will know what to do. One very special thing to always remember, is to be true to yourself, because You and only You are truly responsible for Your happiness in this life.
2006-09-20 06:13:12 · answer #9 · answered by lovnlife 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why put up with it?
If anything if your spouse is lying and cheating on you that should tell you right there that they are not putting you or your family first so why should you put them first. Yes you love them and that's going to be hard but I think if my husband was doing that to me I'm gone. No matter how much it hurts I'm not going to put my daughter in this situation so that she see's whats going on and end up getting treated the same way....Put your self and your kids first....ALWAYS....
2006-09-20 06:10:23 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You've got to be kidding, right? Deal with emotional abuse like that? No way there would ever be a day that I would put up with that! Leave them and move on. You'll probably take the children since they were the one unfaithful.
2006-09-20 06:21:17 · answer #11 · answered by roshambo76 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋