left by birth parents (my brother) at age 1, adopted by me & my husband, birth father entered his life, told him he was his dad, then exited his life again, I separated then divorced my husband, my kids and I moved to another town/school, and now we're both getting remarried (not to eachother). He also has ADHD and is on meds. He's recently asking lots of questions about his birth parents. Sees his dad(adoptive) everyother weekend but is angry and giving him a very hard time leaving his house. Transitions are difficult. He's angry, moody, frequent temper tantrums (mostly with his dad), cries, screams, hits, throws things. He steals things and lies. These behaviors are not every day behaviors. He is a loving, helpful, artistic, thriving boy. School and sports are good outlets for him although he's not always on task and sometimes finds it hard to focus. We're seeking counseling but are on a waiting list and it will be a couple months before we can get him in. Help please..
2006-09-20 05:39:09 · 4 answers · asked by gotcookies? 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Unfortunately children are unable to find the words to describe how they feel and use actions, your son sounds confused and angry that his home life has been turned upside down. Focus one evening alone with him, take him where he would like to go and watch him shine. Good luck
2006-09-20 06:05:40 · answer #1 · answered by Gabriele 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You seem to be talking a great deal about what you want, and very little about what your brother wants. Start by finding out what he wants. After father lie you have much work to do to regain his trust. Seem like he needs stability, after being bounced around like ping pong ball. After giving him stability and establishing some level of trust slowly work through all the issues he may have. There is not going to be any quick solution. Hope you ask this question to find solutions and not excuses.
2006-09-20 13:04:34 · answer #2 · answered by Mister2-15-2 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It looks like it would be a good idea to find a Child Psychologist.
He sounds like he has some anger and abandonment issues. A professional can help identify and relieve some of these issues.
2006-09-20 12:59:48 · answer #3 · answered by sierrapappabravo 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
HAS HE HAD A BRAINWAVE SCAN? THAT IS THE ONLY LEGITIMATE WAY TO PORPERLY DIAGNOSE ADD/ADHD. IT IS OFTEN MISDIAGNOSED, AND CHILDREN ARE FREQUENTLY OVERMEDICATED. DRUG COMPANIES GIVE LARGE INCENTIVES TO DOCTORS, WHO OFTEN DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH THESE KIDS.
CHANCES ARE, IT IS ALL THE TRAUMATIC EVENTS HE HAS ENDURED, BUT HE LACKS THE UNDERSTANDING AND THE LANGUAGE SKILLS TO TALK ABOUT IT. HE OBVIOUSLY HAS ANXIETY ISSUES. UNDERSTANDABLE, SINCE THE RUG HAS BEEN PULLED OUT FROM UNDER HIM NUMEROUS TIMES. HE HAS NO SENSE OF TRUST OR SECURITY. HE NEEDS TO CONTINUE TO GO TO COUNSELING. AT LEAST ONE THING IN HIS LIFE SHOULD BE CONSISTANT FOR HIM. HIS "ADHD" CAN BE DELT WITH BY MODIFYING HIS DIET AND ESTABLISHING A NORMAL ROUTINE. CONSISTENCY AND UNCONDITIONAL ACCEPTANCE HELPS, TOO. NO MATTER WHAT, KIDS TAKE ON RESPONSIBILITY FOR EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENS IN THEIR LIFE. DO NOT GIVE HIM ANYMORE ADULT RESPONSIBILITY TO DEAL WITH.
2006-09-20 12:52:55 · answer #4 · answered by pandora the cat 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋