Me and this guy have been seeing eachother the last month...he left his wife and he even lets me listen when ever she calls him, he tells her he's divorcing her and doesn't want to have anything to do with her other than the kids...he's been staying with me the last week and a half...and we work at the same place! He's been so sincere and even wants to get an apartment with me now...should we slow down???
2006-09-20 05:34:58 · 25 answers · asked by mary H 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Run. Quickly. And stay away until you see divorce papers, although my guess is that you never will.
2006-09-20 05:36:40 · answer #1 · answered by francesfarmer 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Dump this guy. He doesn't know what he wants. He is confused and needs a friend not a girlfriend. If he had any respect for you he would not even involve you in this. And if he ever loved his wife at all he would never dream of ripping her wourld apart with a divorce AND inform her of another woman to take her place all at once. This is cruel. If after hearing this you still find yourself with him, take this to thought... Everytime things get tough between you and him, where is he going... does he have staying power to fight it out or does he avoid conflict of any kind.
Peace keepers usually have no sense of self respect. They would follow anything to make them feel warm and fuzzy inside to the grave if they could. They love the extremes...Sadness, Love, Passion, Fear, usually anything with an adrenaline rush. In his case getting into your pants because they are NEW pants. A test for him would be sending him away until his divorce is finalized and done for at least 9 months without any contact from you (sexually or flirtaciously), then if he still feels the same for you. Then think back to what you talked about for all that time without sex in the middle. If you can honestly say you share more than a torch for sex then... whatever. I would also watch the way he takes care of the responsibility of his child and how he talks about the mother of his child. You could be next.
2006-09-20 13:00:53 · answer #2 · answered by chance_ghost 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should seriously think about dumping him. If he really cared about you, he would at least separate from his wife before getting involved with you - technically, he's made you into a homewrecker. Do you really want to be with someone who would cheat on his wife like that? Also, he just seems incredibly rude and inconsiderate - despite his lack of feeling for his wife, it's so wrong to let anyone (even you) listen in on his private conversations with his wife. What kind of a person would do this? What is you had problems with him? How do you know that he wouldn't let someone listen in on your conversation? Even if things did work out for you and him, how do you think his kids would feel about you - this man has already made you out to be a cheap hussy. I think he's just using you to find a new place to live without having to pay for it. He is bad news.
2006-09-20 12:40:03 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wait until he is divorced to make any decisions. Because while seperated a husband and wife can get back together. Once he realizes what he is doing you might not be the answer.Slow down and sit back. I would not even allow him to stay with me while he going through this transition.
2006-09-20 12:46:31 · answer #4 · answered by sweetcincylove 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
YES! Please slow down. Remember that he made a vow before God to honor this woman til death. Do I think that means they should be together forever regardless of their problems, OF COURSE NOT! but ask yourself " why jump into something with someone who can't handle this situation with the person he had vows with. What is to stop him from hurting me?" As women we have the need to nuture men with out making wise decisions. If this is truly meant to be then it will be. Make sure that you are not a crutch. He may need you to get on his feet and you don't want to be used! He may seem sincere but use your head and not your heart to determine whether this makes sense for you, emotionally and financially. I hope this helps and I wish you the best.
2006-09-20 12:47:48 · answer #5 · answered by NICOLE J 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
umm he is still a married man separated or not maybe his wife doesn't want him anymore but until the divorce is final you should back off because if my husband was living with a woman before a divorce was final i would beat the hell out of her. Plus do you want his kids to think your a cheap whore because that is the impression they will have if your living with his father even before the divorce is final
2006-09-20 12:38:01 · answer #6 · answered by Amy M 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
um, if he leaves his wife for you it is likely not anything to do with you at all. You are the new safety net.
As soon as you beome a burden, he will do the same thing to you.
Been there, done that.
Slow down, date him, but do not let him live with you
He has to face the music of the divoporce first aand the fall out rom that, and deal with his own issues first. He likely has some whoppers.
2006-09-20 12:39:01 · answer #7 · answered by Etain 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
WOW my ex did that to me! he has a new girlfriend and we arent even divorced! Honestly butt out of their relationship! Dont listen to their conversation! Nosey!! Yeah U may be going to fast cuz think about it sweetie he cheated to be with you! WHat makes you think hes not gonna do the same to you what he did to his wife and kids????????????? So leave him alone and find someone who doesnt have the package! What are you jealous of his wife?? Seems like you cant trust him anyways since your nosey and listen and butt in their relationship! Thats what I see in my husbands girlfriend! Shes JEALOUS and I think you are too! But him being with her now LOL I never want him back!!
2006-09-20 12:38:16 · answer #8 · answered by smile114 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think you should stop!! forget slowing down! the excitement of your "new relationship" wont last forever. before you know it, he will be back home, [the loving husband that he is], taking care of his kids. married men are off limits for a reason! even if he divorces his wife, im sure you could be just as easily replaced as she was. STOP NOW before your heart is broken.
2006-09-20 12:46:40 · answer #9 · answered by thicks 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course you should slow down and remember, one day he will treat you like he's treating his wife now. Boy talk about a man who is scared to be alone. He's going from their house to yours without even a legal separation. Shows bad character.
2006-09-20 12:40:23 · answer #10 · answered by JustMe 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you should most definitely slow down. If he can leave his wife and children and moved in with you that fast, who's to say he won't do the same to you. Sound like a very inconsiderate person.
2006-09-20 12:39:13 · answer #11 · answered by irish_yankee51 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋