I have a friend that for some reason can't seem to get out of his mom's house, he does nothing except sit at home and play x box 360 all day. No job, no school, nothing! me and my other friends try n talk him in to doing something but it seems pointless sometimes. He is a 21 year old virgin with no life, what can we do to help him out?
2006-09-20 05:15:17 · 20 answers · asked by y u n v ME?! 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Other - Cultures & Groups
The reason that he is living at his mom's house with no job, no school, sits at home and plays x box 360 all day is ... BECAUSE HE CAN. His mom is an ENABLER. The only way that he will become the man that he is intended to be is for his mom to realize that she is messing him up BIG TIME.
She needs to give him a date to be out of her house or to get a job and stay there for a little while and then follow through with it no matter what. He will make it just fine like you and everyone else does.
Some people have suggested that he is depressed. So, does that allow a person to be a slacker an an unproductive member of society? It does not.
Just wait until he is 30 or 40 and doing drugs or becomes an alcoholic because he has nothing in common with the people his age who have productive and well paying jobs, he has no employment background, and no one will hire him for anything more than minimum pay.
Why does she want him to remain "her little boy"? It is because she is being selfish concerning his welfare. Try talking to her. Better yet mail her a copy of these posts.
2006-09-20 05:25:23 · answer #1 · answered by 4HIM- Christians love 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i know a guy like that. he knows a lot about sports, and video games, but when it comes to social interaction, he's horrible! and he's 26 years old!! NOT GOOD for him in the long run, and not good for ur friend (at least he's only 21). however, don't worry about the virgin part; that's not the problem. the problem is he doesn't even know how to socialize and let loose and have a "normal" life. =T he is definitely missing out...
how come he's not at least working?? what does he want to do w/ life? perhaps u guys can get him out to drink a bit, loosen up a bit w/ friends...? give him a make over, new clothes, go shopping together, pretend u need his "help" to go shopping for new clothes or get haircut together. in the end, HE has to want to do it, it's true. no matter how much u help him.... one of the guys gave the guy i know a makeover (he looked SO MUCH BETTER!)...and he 1) didn't say thank you, and 2) went back to his old ways (altho he is dressing a bit differently....=T). we keep trying to get him to drink a bit more so he loosens up.. not to encourage drinking, but u know how it gets sometimes when someone is uptight. by no means do i mean getting drunk.. just lighten up a bit. and he's 21, so it's legal! :)
have friends over, maybe have some friends that are girls try to talk to him. right now we're trying to get him to talk to this one girl we konw.... not that she's ever really gonna date him, but she's willing to try and talk to him and spend some time w/ him...and he actually tried to get her number and called her! (even tho he doesn't know how to talk to her, and was kinda rude...haha. it's a work in progress). but if u really care about him, i understand u wanna help!
good luck, and keep trying. if u have to give up, u have to give up. but he's ur friend, and he needs to change in order to experience life. take him on a road trip or something! :)
2006-09-20 05:27:59 · answer #2 · answered by sasmallworld 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your friend may be suffering from depression. If that's true, only he can do anything about it. You and your friends are doing your best to help him out. Can his parents be of some help here? Don't abandon him if at all possible. He really needs to get out and socialize.
It could be that he has social anxiety. Maybe ask him if he would just like to take a walk?
I hope I'm being helpful to you. I hope he can turn this around.
2006-09-20 05:21:44 · answer #3 · answered by Juanitamarie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are a lot of guys that are quite lazy and irresponsible this way, especially at this age. He probably doesn't work because Mom doesn't make him and doesn't go to school because he thinks he knows everything. What he needs is a girlfriend (or boyfriend if applicable) to help him get focused on his life.
2006-09-20 05:30:39 · answer #4 · answered by Marginality 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your friend has it made and he knows it, he is getting everything for free and no expectations put on him. His mother is evidently content also, she knows where her son is at all times and that he is in no trouble........however he is a recluse. It is hard sometimes for parents to let go of a child and I would assume the mother is letting her son do exactly what she EXPECTS and WANTS him to do.....................and he is ok with it. You might hint to him that he is missing a lot in life and that his mom will not be around forever......otherwise I would assume he is pretty content.
2006-09-20 05:18:52 · answer #5 · answered by ladynamedjane 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A person has to want help in order to receive it. I think it's great that you care about this guy so much, because he obviously needs something to motivate him. His parents are not doing him any favor by allowing him to vegetate in this fashion. Perhaps he is an only child and they can't face his leaving?
2006-09-20 05:17:43 · answer #6 · answered by Nefertiti 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You cannot help someone who will not help themselves. If he has no interest in anything, he is either the laziest person in your neighborhood, or has mental problems...either way, it is beyond your help. He will soon be a 40 year old vigin with no life. Don't tag along for the ride. Good luck
2006-09-20 05:36:35 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
im not sure really. maby he feels very self consious. did his mother mother him too much when he was younger?maby that is his problem. if he led a very sheltered life he may just be afraid of the real world or afraid of failure if he is selfconsious. try and help him to see that eveeryone is different and that in teh real world failure is natural. it will take time but dont give up. build up his confidence slowly, and he dont dwell on the fact that is a virgin. take it one step at a time and dont give up
2006-09-20 05:21:48 · answer #8 · answered by Belosnezhka (aka Gex) 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
His mom needs to make him contribute to the bills or get out on his own.
I guarantee he will get to work then. Then he will have to be social at work, start wanting to get out more, the domino effect.
I bet his mom is in the "Parenting" section with about the same question.
2006-09-20 05:19:40 · answer #9 · answered by Phoenix, Wise Guru 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He may suffer from depression or that disease I can't remember the name of that makes you not want to leave the house. I think it is agoraphobia. He should see a doctor. His mom should help him. Talk to her. He needs to get help.
Good luck!
2006-09-20 05:16:48 · answer #10 · answered by Leah 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋