I am 5 months pregnant and my Mom lives 7 hours away. She wants to throw me a baby shower, but can't do it until I'm 8 months pregnant. I'm having a sheduled c-section so I'll probably have the baby around 38 weeks and don't want to push it so close. I'll need time to find out and get the things I'll still be needing, right? Plus alot of the furniture for the baby is coming from family members so I'll be setting up the nursery with a big huge belly and MAYBE 2 weeks to spare. So I'm thinking about letting my friend throw me one sooner-around 30 weeks. I've explained all my reasons for doing it sooner to her, but she just says it'll be okay.How can I do this without hurting her feelings?
2006-09-20 05:03:39 · 15 answers · asked by tammyb752001 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
Well, sounds like your mother is excited and wants to really do it right, or she would be more accommodating. Sometimes good things come when you allow family to work in their own mysterious ways. Your friend aside, (people have more than one shower sometimes), let Mom do her thing....plan on sleeping over when the shower is scheduled so you don't have to deal with too much travel. As far as setting up the nursery with a big, huge belly....that is what fathers are for. Good luck.
2006-09-20 05:19:19 · answer #1 · answered by Sunbaby 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A few things!!
A baby shower is usually given in the last trimester of the pregnancy. So 8 months is okay, it's a welcome diversion toward the end of pregnancy!
You can have 2 showers! You can have your friends throw you a shower that includes your Friends and some close family and/or coworkers. And your mom can do one with family or after the babies born and do a Tea Party or some special theme. By doing it after the baby is born you can get stuff you didn't get before and didn't realize you needed, also it's a good way to share the baby!!
I was on bed rest and had to reschedule my work baby shower, so they had one after my son was born. It was great and everybody got to see him!
You should figure out a way for your mom to be involved. It sounds like she is very excited after all she is grandma!
After thinking about it...you really want to get past 35 weeks so the baby isn't high risk. If you were having twins or multiples to where it was a higher risk of you delivering earlier that I would say go with the 30 weeks but if this is your first and you are scheduled for a C-Section than what's the big hurry. Are you anxious and feel like you are losing control that you need to tell everybody how and when to give you a shower. Please I mean this this with no disrespect. Just think about it. The shower is to let people share in the excitement of the new baby, and really it's about the baby.
Good Luck!
2006-09-20 12:14:37 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't let your Mom push you into anything with which you are not comfortable. YOU are the one having the baby. Tell her as sweetly as possible that you know her intentions are good but it just won't work so close to your due date. (You have a scheduled C-section but sometimes babies pick their own time to arrive!) She wouldn't want you to do anything that might be detrimental to her grandchild, would she?
If she's from the "I never had any problems what's the matter with you/ pull up your bootstraps and get on with it" camp (like my Mom is), tell her just as sweetly, that you know she did this, that and the other during her pregnancy (adding, and that was great) BUT this is YOUR pregnancy and you need to do it YOUR way. (You can even joke about it; sing it or send her a recording of Frank Sinatra or Paul Anka singing "My Way".)
If she persists, smile and stand firm.
If she can't come to the shower your friend is throwing, tell her she can do an "I'm the proud grandmother" shower after the baby's here -- which can also be special as then you can see what you still need or want. (I don't know if you already know and/ or have announced the sex of your child; if not, then a post-arrival shower also gives people a chance to buy particular clothing...)
If she STILL continues pushing, let your partner step in and run pass interference. You need to rest.
Congratulations!
2006-09-20 12:36:54 · answer #3 · answered by pat z 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
will lets see tell your mom sorry hope she understands but the bun in the oven can not wait for her to throw a party thats why you do it early and let her know if she can do it sooner that would make you happy because she should know when your 8 months pregnant you dont feel like driving or packing up every thing to return home and my friend had her baby one day before the shower so she missed out and friends stoped by here and there to drop off gifts think of it this way its your day not any one elses do what makes you happy she should be happy she is getting a grand child
2006-09-20 12:17:48 · answer #4 · answered by greg m 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Isn't that just like a mom? Just flat out tell her that you do not feel comfortable coming so late in your pregnancy. And that if she doesn't have it sooner than you will not be able to attend. If she still doesn't want to move it, than tell her you will gladly call during the shower, but you CAN NOT go. All you can do is stick to what you say.
2006-09-20 12:11:10 · answer #5 · answered by tnmomof2as 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Consider that most of the things you'll still need to get aren't neccessary for a newborn there'll be plenty of time to get them. You can also have those same friends throw you a "put the nursery together" lunch it would be another excuse to get together and have fun. Good luck
2006-09-20 13:09:59 · answer #6 · answered by emily 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
see if maybe your mom wouldn't mind helping your friend throw you the baby shower at 30 weeks - if she can't then hopefully she's going to be understanding about your reasons for not waiting
2006-09-20 12:13:22 · answer #7 · answered by Angelina 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look - YOU are the one who is pregnant. Not your mother. You're a grownup now with a mind of your own. Have your baby shower whenever you want and whenever and wherever is most convenient for you.
Good luck with your new baby.
2006-09-20 12:11:37 · answer #8 · answered by Jackie J 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She should understand. If not, there isn't much you can do. My shower was scheduled for the 39th week of my pregnancy and I already had the baby by then, so it wasn't much use. If your mom could do earlier I would go with her, if she can't adjust her schedule it isn't your fault.
2006-09-20 12:07:14 · answer #9 · answered by Amy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with jennander. Have one after the baby is born, it would be a great introduction to family & friends.
2006-09-20 12:11:35 · answer #10 · answered by Someone 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋