I have been in love with a married man for over two years-it is so deep I can hardly breathe. I too am married. I am extremely unhappy with my current situation and I also have three children. We talk about the future all the time and I know if we truly want to be together we need to be make smart steps. I know little about his wife. I feel that he is not being 100% with me and it is driving me crazy. I don't want to acuse him of dishonesty but it is killing me inside. I want to spend the rest of my life with him. I am hurting myself and everyone involved. I don't want to be a mistress or a friend. I want to be married to him because I am so happy when we are together and so so miserable when we are apart. He tells me how much he loves me and how much he believes in us. I am ready to make a move and a commitment with him. Should I just relax and believe that we were meant to be together or should I put it on the table and ask what his real intentions are. I am going nutso..
2006-09-20 04:57:53 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
First, get out of your marriage. If you are unhappy in your marriage and looking to be with someone else, then you are unhappy regardless of whether you're with this other guy. Don't mess around on your marriage. Get that settled, and then figure out what's going on with the other guy.
As for the married guy, I'd say it's the same thing for him. If he's unhappy in his marriage, he needs to get out before getting seriously involved with someone else. If he wants to be with you, he needs to get divorced.
2006-09-20 05:02:59 · answer #1 · answered by mojo4395 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I want to apologize first if you feel I am attacking, but you need to really think with out the emotions. You feel he is not being 100% with you. Well he is not. He will never leave his wife. After 2 yrs if he that much in love with you as you are in him he would have done so.
One wife to another you should have never started this in the beginning because like him you are married. If you are not happy at home. Either fix it or get out. Don't use the kids as a reason to why you have stayed. You have admitted that this is hurting everyone involved including your children.
Grow up and realize that as long as he can bang you he will tell you whatever he thinks you want to here to continue to get it and as I said before he is not leaving his wife or else would have done so.
Be woman and don't put yourself in the position to be made a fool of.
His real intentions are to be with his family and have extracurricular activities on the side and no telling how many other activities he may have. Why would you chance being in the position that his wife and your husband are currently in.
You are unhappy with your husband because you think you have found love with this man.
Sorry again If I come off a little harsh, but please think about this more clearly.
Best regards
2006-09-20 05:14:17 · answer #2 · answered by sweetcincylove 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Happiness is over rated, and you are looking through rose colored glasse. First of all, think of your kids; not only how you will hurt them but the terrible example you will set for them if you pick up and leave for a married man. Second, why wouldn't this guy feed you all sorts of romantic sap just to keep you around as, sorry to say, his mistress. Even if he does leave his wife for you, do you really think he will be faithful? He has already demonstrated that he is willing to cheat, and you don't trust him. I guarantee, in fact I would put money on it, that he will someday cheat on you too; and your happiness will be out the window replaced with regrets. I would recommend you pursue a life of true purpose rather then false happiness. Invest yourself in your kids and the husband you promised to love until death separated you. Find some happiness in doing the right thing, not the "feels so good right now thing."
2006-09-20 05:08:07 · answer #3 · answered by hutmikttmuk 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wrong, wrong, wrong!!! It's unfair what the two of you are doing to your current spouses. People like you give us honest and faithful married people a bad reputation. If he's cheating on his wife, what makes you think he won't cheat on you when you're his wife. Or what if he marries you and then starts accusing you of sleeping around? What then? You're involving your children in this mess, even if they haven't been exposed to him yet. How do you live with yourself? How do you go home to the man who swore he'd be devoted to you for life? You're obviously leading him on because I'm sure the two of you share some kind of intimacy and don't ignore each other or sleep in seperate beds, do you? You don't need to know anything about your man whore's wife. Maybe she needs to know about you! You are a mistress, HELLO!! Did you ever sit back and think that this is only fun and exciting because you're being sneaky and not getting caught. Wake up. This is not how you want to live, is it?
2006-09-20 05:19:28 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's been two years?? I don't think he is going anywhere. If you are unhappy leave!
Please don't say you are staying with your husband for the Children because believe it or not they suffer more this way!
You need some serious soul searching. If you haven't minded being second to another women then you've got some self-esteem issues.
Dishonesty???? BOTH OF YOU ARE DISHONEST. YOU TO YOUR HUSBAND AND HE TO HIS WIFE!!
Your wrong, BOTH of you are hurting everyone involved.
You need to concentrate on yourself and your kids! Divorce is hard but what you are doing is wrong. Think about how this will affect your children's lives. Stop for a moment and put them first before your love life....They will resent you if you keep doing this and you get caught.
Put you and your children first stop being second to some other mans wife!!! And stop hurting your husband and children. Leave them both!
2006-09-20 05:09:33 · answer #5 · answered by Me 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
with each new man you only get a new set of problems. And you cant forget the saying "once a cheater always a cheater." what makes you think it will stop with you? Or that this new relationship will be so much better than your current one? the truth is that both of you gave you promise to someone else and that is not to be taken lightly. I would hope that you would drop the new guy and put that energy into mending your broken relationship. I know it will be hard and you may even have to remove yourself from the situation(new guy). And yes, you need to tell your husband. Best of luck!!!
2006-09-20 05:13:09 · answer #6 · answered by Nurse Autumn Intactivist NFP 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to be very careful, you may lose everything, you don't even know what his intentions are? come on now, I hope he is not making a fool out of you, you have a lot too lose, what about your children? You need to start thinking with your head, and not your woo, woo. You are bring a lot of problems into your relationship. you need to do a lot of soul searching. I feel sorry for your husband and children. All of this energy you are putting into this affair, you should be putting into, working on your marriage.The grass always looks greener on the other side, until you get over their. Think about what you are doing!!!
2006-09-20 05:31:38 · answer #7 · answered by roseannetb@verizon.net 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
TWO years! And he is not divorced yet! That should tell you something! Go right ahead and ask him straight in the face! Give him a dead line and watch what hes reactions are! Hes reactions will tell you more then you want/are ready to know!
Be brave! Show him some attitude!
P.S. But before you think of that you have other people lifes depending on your decision! Think of you but try not to be selfish!
2006-09-20 05:07:07 · answer #8 · answered by Vio R 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry, but it's wrong to get hooked up with someone else if you are married. Before you two start any relations together you better both have a divorce.
2006-09-20 05:03:14 · answer #9 · answered by Mariko 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your relationship is doomed from the start. Your relationship is based on dishonesty and deception. You are both being deceptive to your current spouses. If you are willing to cheat on your current spouses, you are more likely going to cheat on each other. At least one of you is. If you are unhappy in your current situation, you need to figure it out or get out. Same with him. He seems to be holding back from you, that's because you're giving him more than what he wanted from this relationship. You are trying to make it committed when it wasn't intended to be. You can not be committed to each other because you are not available to be committed to someone else. You are his mistress and that's all he wanted from you.
2006-09-20 05:07:39 · answer #10 · answered by eehco 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋