my sister got married last month to a great guy. but the guy has baggage. he has a kid in barbados and the mother is almost milking them dry. the woman lied about having a job, and ket calling and demanding money to feed and support the child. so finally my sister investigated and found out that the woman has been a cop there for about 3 years, and has just been lying to them all along.
My sister says she feels hatred for the woman, and she wants to call her and tell her that she will get $200 US per month, and when she pays the school fees the woman will have to survive on the surplus.
She confides in me sometimes and tells me that she hates that her hubby has a child. And she hates that he chose such a ridiculous woman to get involved with.
He tries to console her, but she keeps slippign into this weird kind of anxiety where she just really hates that he was with this other woman...enough to get a child.
She says sometimes she feels as if she wants to have a child with him, to...
2006-09-20 03:24:34 · 5 answers · asked by Briseis 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
...even things out. Her hubby cant see the child because the woman keeps her away from him, and they live in dfferent countries, and they can't eactly afford to fly there all the time.
The hubby, is fine I guess, he's let go of the situation, but my sister has lost her appetite, she seems to be getting depressed about this whole situation, she's even lost weight just worrying about it.
She keeps telling me that she's not ready for a kid, but she doesnt know how to talk to the kid's mother to kind of let her know what the deal is.
She doesnt listen to me, because she says she doesnt want to fight or argue, she just wants the woman to understand, and maybe leave them in peace.
I told her to send money every month and just let western union notify the woman...just to not have to talk to her...she has such a nasty attitude, but my sis says she doesnt want to lose touch with the child...the kid is 5...she could care less..she doesnt know them anyway!
But help please!!!
2006-09-20 03:31:09 · update #1
There is nothing "mental" about having some insecurity regarding a spouse's past lover, especially considering the stress the woman seems to be heaping onto your sister's relationship. Since your sister is married to the man, it is only reasonable that she would consider having a baby with him. It sounds like she is going through a rough patch right now, but if both she and her husband are invested in making their marriage work, all this drama will smooth out over time.
2006-09-20 03:30:30 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
she should never have gotten married. She has some serious issues going on right now. 1.) jealousy... your sister needs to realize that everyone has a past when it comes to relationships, and her husband's just happens to have proof, but remind her it takes two to have a baby. 2.) Needing child support is not *milking* a man dry. And if she (the ex) were to take him to court, he'd be paying a hell of alot more than $200 a month. PLUS he'd have to pay to fly down there for the hearing, etc. 3.) She needs to realize that the child they have is NOT responsible for his/her parents actions and is completely blameless... resenting a child because it's not yours is just wrong. Remind her that that child is a part of her husband and if she loves everything about her husband, she'd better love that child. and 4.) Remind her that she doesn't need a child to "keep" her man, she's already married to him... if she really wants a child, then I say good for her, but if she wants one for any of the wrong reasons, she needs to think long and hard.... Remind her that marriage is compromise and that she'll be fine in the end
2006-09-20 03:35:50 · answer #2 · answered by rachael 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Anxiety is a symptom of a "Love addition", yes you can get hooked on Anything that mood changes you.
1. "A third sign of addiction to a person is withdrawal symptoms. No matter how panicky thinking about and planning the breakup makes your feel, it doesn't begin to compare with the devastation and desperation you experience when the breakup actually happens. In fact, the agony can be even worse than the agony drug addicts and alcoholics endure when they go on the wagon. The withdrawal symptoms can extent to include chest pain (often described as "knots in my chest') stomach and colon disorders, muscle spasm, severe headaches, high blood pressure, depression, feelings or actual acts of violence toward the partner, and an intense need to "get ever". And, of course, there's the feeling that the only way to end the agony is to resume the relationship or desperately to seek a new one."
2006-09-20 03:35:14 · answer #3 · answered by NoPoaching 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well that is her problem, she wants to start her own family and thinks she can't. It is expensive to have children and if this ex is milking them dry how can she have her own child. They should send a reasonable amount for child support and leave it at that. Let the ex take them to court if she doesn't like it and then the courts will set a reasonable amount.
2006-09-20 03:30:47 · answer #4 · answered by kitkat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this woman does this because the hubby gives her too much lee way and has not put foot down
2006-09-20 03:37:18 · answer #5 · answered by christina318888 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋