I'm back. I have the cheating guy. I asked questions and got nowhere. Now what?

Question

I'm the one with the fiance that calls a certain girl 6 or more times a month. I tell him that he has been dreaming about her and ask him why. I asked him last night if he had talked to her or if he was thinking about her or worried about her for some reason and all he answered was, "Babe, I don't want her. The only person I want is you." So I said that maybe I was just being a weirdo and he said, "yeah, you are.". But before I had the conversation with him I had checked his calls and he called her 3 times. Once at lunch and two more times after work before he got home. Also the night before he called her again right before he got home at around 10:15 and he got home at 10:36. I really don't know what to think or do now. I wrote him an email asking him if he has talked to her, if she has called him and when was the last time he talked to her. If he tells me that he hasn't called her then I know he is lying.

Answer 1

Apparently you keep asking questions about what to do with a cheating guy and apparently you keep getting answers you don't like because you keep asking. Continuing to ask the question is not going to change the answer. Your man is a liar and possibly a cheater. He has you totally stressed out and spying on him. You don't want to live this way. Accept this situation as it is, listen to those from whom you ask advice, and move on. Because in reality - you don't have him anyway.

Answer 2

First off girl you are right on the money on that one. He is indeed talking to her daily and maybe even either actively intimate or thinking about it. Now this guy sounds like he is getting a rush from the side action he is getting, If I may be direct for a sec. Cut your losses and throw him to the curb, because if not he will keep it up and eventually turn it into a full blown affair. The worse part of it all is a loyal and loving woman will be deeply hurt/scarred for life. The truth of the matter is he wont just stop, specially since he is dreaming about her and maybe even wishing he was with her at times. I would not let him hurt you anymore or at least for any more time, if he truly does have any feelings for you once he sees how seriously upset you are about his little games he will drop her and come running to you. But if not then you have your chance to start fresh and concentrate on you for a change.

Answer 3

Wow, do you really have to ask what to do? It's obvious to those you're asking, girl. Step out of your body and think about what advice you'd give someone else. Then look long into the future. Let's say it's not about you and what you want for yourself, but what if you have kids with this guy. Do you want your wonderful babies to have a cheater and a liar for a father? Do you want them brought up thinking that behavior is okay because daddy does it. That's a hard chain to break. Plus, they'll think it's okay to do this to their own wives/husbands since you're allowing it done to you. But I do recommend you first look at yourself and see if you really want someone who includes other women in their lives and can't be honest about it - what else are they lying about. Seriously, for all the things you do know of, how much is going on you don't know about. Don't you want someone that adores you, that you don't ever have to wonder about, that gives you complete stability. If you let him get away with this, he will, always. He won't just all of a sudden love you the way you want. It just doesn't happen that way. Even if you give him an ultimatum, shouldn't he be able to make "only you" decisions on his own. If you're engaged, this should have been easy for him, and he should already be giving you the stability you need. I'm not saying he's a bad guy, just very likely not ready for marriage or the type of relationship you're looking for. I hope you find what you want in life, so don't settle - you'll never be happy if you're always checking up on your relationship.

Answer 4

I think you ALREADY know that he's lying. It's really hard for people to not take this situation as rejection, but you must move on to a better guy. You already know that he's calling another girl and you'd know by now if they were best friends from grade school or not. So break up with him, before he breaks YOU. You know he will and he won't do it because you're not good enough, he'll do it because he's the type of guy that won't be happy with whomever he has. Ditch the dodo, believe me you'll get over him the second a nicer guy appreciates you for who you are. That incredible guy that you're meant to be with will be worth a few days of tears after you let this sniffing hound loose. Don't waste your youth with someone who was never yours to begin with, and he'll never be anyone else's either, it's his nature. There are plenty more options when you take your eyes off the dud.

Answer 5

maybe your guy is just frightened of committing himself to you. maybe he has an affair. in any case it is not normal having an intensive communication with another female person, dreaming about her and pretending he does not know anything about her.

try talking to him and see whether he tells you the truth. ask where he knows her from, why does he have to call her so often, whether he is afraid of the stage your relationship is in, whether he want to commit himself. be careful if he comes with statements like "i love you". it is not about whether he loves you, it is about whether he loves her. watch out whether he is sincere. in my experience, the more a guy talks and explains, the more he says how much he loves you, calls you sweety, babe , etc., the more he has to hide smth. try to stay calm and don't get hysteric. men hate that in women!

but if he is lying to you i would break up with him if i were you. a marriage should be based on mutual trust and lying and cheating is not what you need. i mean if he starts with this now, how would be in 10 years when things start gettiing more routine and settled. if so this is just not the right guy for you. there are lots of other men, too. i am sure you deserve something better.

Answer 6

I will keep this to a short answer. If you can't trust his word now, there will be no trust once you two are married. Also, if he is hiding phone calls to the other woman, there could be more than six calls a month to her. The best thing is to end the relationship before you two get married because it will save having to go through a divorce proceeding.

Answer 7

you are engaged to a cheater, a liar and a player - think about what your future will be with him - is this what you want - looking up numbers he has called & always questioning and doubting him - get out now!!! have some self-respect - don't let him play you anymore - take back the control in your life & tell him it's over and do not contact him or respond to his calls in any way.

Answer 8

You don't need him to answer your question thru an e-mail, you already know the answer. He may not have cheated physically but he has emotionally. That's what you should look at, he's already crossed the line. He has been lying to you and he will keep lying to you,that insults your intelligence. When it is at the point you have to check his phone, the trust is gone and you CAN NOT have a relationship without trust. remember "IF YOU HAVE NOTHING TO HIDE, HIDE NOTHING". Good luck to you!!

Answer 9

Ok, let's get this straight. You caught him lying, you caught him corresponding / talking to another woman more than once in a month, and now you want to know what to do!!!??? Are you completely crazy or just blind?? Take the rose-colored glasses off NOW, dump his cheating a.ss and get a life.

Answer 10

You already know he's lying to you. It really does not matter if he's cheating or not. The constant lying is probably the bigger issue. Liars have a harder time stopping than cheaters do.
It may be time to move on.