Hi all, I need help because I am at a crossroad here. I have a boyfriend that I have been in an intimate relationship over 2 years.
I think I found my husband, no I know I found him. But we are having problems in the friend department. I have some friends that I have been cool with for a yearor so....my co-workers.
I am glad were are friends because I really didnt have too many.
We hang alot and have fun. But my boyfriend is from my hometown but he works out of state but not too far because we can drive back and forth to see each other, which we have. But he doesnt like the fact that my friends are single and they go out alot he thinks they dont respect our relationship, he doesnt mind us goin out but he doesnt like that we go bar-hopping, he says we should do something else. Because of his work I see him 2 or 3 times a month. I dont like how he wants all of my attention when he comes home even if I want to do something with my friends.
2006-09-20 03:09:12 · 10 answers · asked by Dawn K 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He thinks that my girls should understand that I am in a relationship and that I shouldnt do certain things that they do because they are single. I agree but I like my friends and he seems a bit controlling or are his request just things I should be abiding by? To sum it up he feels he should be put first before my friends because we are in a serious relationship.
What should I do?
2006-09-20 03:09:33 · update #1
I think you should maintain your stance now, because whatever is established at this point will continue should you marry.
TRUST is a major factor with marriage, so talk him about it... does he trust you to hang out with your single friends. I would assure him that he doesn't have to monopolize your time when you two are together and you have plenty of time together in the future.
And it wouldn't hurt that your friends understand that when you two are together for those 2 or 3 times out of the month, that OUT OF RESPECT they should allow you that time ALONE.
2006-09-20 03:35:40 · answer #1 · answered by E. Gads 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Grow up...you see him 2 to three times a month and it offends you that he wants all your time when he's home? Your not ready for a real relationship. Hang out with your girls for a couple more years or however long it takes, then think about a relationship. COme on "bar-hopping" and your wondering why he has a problem? It's not him, it's you.
2006-09-20 10:27:43 · answer #2 · answered by sasha 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
In a sense he's right. If you think about it try and put yourself in his place. He feel a bit threatened because you two only see each other a couple of times a month and your out at bars with friends. No guy wants his girlfriend going out with her single friends to the bar to get hit on. And thats exactly whats going through his head. If the shoe were on the other foot you wouldn't like it either.
2006-09-20 10:31:23 · answer #3 · answered by flutterby 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay if I understand you , he doesn't want you bar hopping with single women. Sorry I agree, the nights you hang with them you could go to dinner and movies. If when he comes home and that is only 2-3 times a month why would you want to hang with your friends? I don't think you are ready for a committed relationship.
2006-09-20 10:15:50 · answer #4 · answered by kitkat 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Gert real honey. You only see your man 2-3 times a month and yuo see your co-worker friends every day.... if your man comes home, give him the attention that he needs or he will find that attention and commitment elsewhere.
He is right and you are wrong. If you think that going out with your co-workesr that you see everyday is more important that spending quality time with your boyfriend that you only see twice a week, then you should let him go as you have other priorities.
Gas is too expensive nowadays for him to come home to see you want to spend time alone with your girlfriens. If you enjoy being your your girfriends exclusivly, then don't have a boyfriend.
Good luck
2006-09-20 11:13:51 · answer #5 · answered by Blunt 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you think he's controlling now, wait until you are together all the time. When he is home, those 2-3 times a month, be with him. The other 27 days, do whatever you want to. You are not engaged nor married. Explain to him that you don't do anything untrustworthy while he's gone, that he is the one for you, but you enjoy going out with your friends and will continue to do so.
2006-09-20 10:13:10 · answer #6 · answered by daj11551 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is a lot of mistrust at work here. It matters not who you are with. He is questioning your ability to do what is right regardless.
He thinks that your friends do not respect your relationship? I don't think he respects your relationship. Its time to put this guy aside for a while.
Remember long distance relationship is an oxymoron.
2006-09-20 11:04:24 · answer #7 · answered by Flagger 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are 2 points here, first you say trhat this is the man you want to marry, but don't want to spend time with?? Right?
Second, why don't you bring him out with your friends? Yust because you go out barhopping dosn't mean that your picking up guys.
Try to include him with your friends, if you don't want to maybe he's not the right man for you. No man should tell you who and who not you can be friends with.
Good luck
2006-09-20 13:48:19 · answer #8 · answered by tdybear 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he has a point. if you are at the bar with your single friends, you will be meeting guys and having them buy you drinks and flirting with them. right? if you are doing this several times a week, and chosing bar hoping over him when he is home, then he has a point. you need to grow up a little
2006-09-20 10:42:17 · answer #9 · answered by Crazy dog lady 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't get it you seem him only 2-3 times a month and you don't want to set aside your friends for him...You are not ready for a committed relationship...
2006-09-20 10:21:14 · answer #10 · answered by Mechelle 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋