How do you get your child to sleep?

Question

My son is 8 months old and will not go to sleep unless me or my boyfriend lay down with him till he does. How can I make him go to sleep and stay asleep by himself?

Answer 1

well being a mother of three, i too went through the same experience, I sometime found that if I lay my kid down on their tummy and rock them gently (its not the best thing to do), but it does work. Dont lay next to the baby, you'll never be able to get away if you get him/her used to that. I used to sometimes if it was night time, and my kid would not go to sleep, i would placed them in a car seat, go for a ride, until they knocked out, then I would go home, and gently lay them, if they awaken, then gently again rock him/her again. Also, a little bit of water with a tad bit of sugar can help too. And I mean in a four ounce bottle put less then 1/4 tsp of sugar, dont over due it. Hopefully my method will work for you. Good Luck!

Answer 2

The laying down w/him is really only if you live in an igloo and need warmth! Or, seriously, if your kid has nightmares later on or is sick. First, make sure he's not sick. He also might have a spinal problem if he was breech at birth (the docs tend to yank them out...messing up their bones. My nephew couldn't lie on his back until he as adjusted by a chiropractor!!)

Otherwise, the tried and true method (I had a kid who wouldn't go to sleep!) is to let him cry a few minutes, then go in and soothe him (don't pick him up)...leave and repeat as often as necessary 'til he sleeps. This is usually called the "Ferber method" (see link below).

"Primarily, it involves progressively training children to put themselves to sleep autonomously. While some regard it as a cold, callous approach, most experts regard it as simply one of many possible approaches in dealing with children who have difficulty falling asleep alone. Some people do not feel that getting a baby to sleep alone is a worthwhile objective, and instead advocate the "family bed" or co-sleeping approach." (Wikipedia)

I don't think it's callous at all, as long as the child is NOT left alone for long periods of time. It will help, IMO, with later bedtime struggles.

Once he's older and may start protesting bedtime: DON'T make it a big issue. If you do, and you're kid is stubborn...you'll fight a battle every night. We just let our kid stay up 'til he was tired...by the time he was two, he would PUT HIMSELF TO BED!

Another possibility is that he is too hot. My kid never sleep through the night because he was overdressed. At the age of 6 mos., he stayed at my sister's and slept straight thru...I arrived the next AM to see him (in January) sitting in a "onesie" (underwear). I rushed to pick him up, saying "He's FREEZING!" But he wasn't. He was warm as toast and happy. I was the one projecting my hatred of the cold onto him.

SO...it could be a lot of things, but you need to stop the sleeping-with-you thing now, or he'll still want to do it when he's 12...and that's just TOO weird!

Answer 3

My little brother was like that. It is hard to stop something like that. The only thing that I can say that help with him was tough love. I hope he is still in a crib. No matter how much he fight and screams...yes scream. When it is bed time take in am lay him in the crib and close the door. Don't give in be strong. It will be hard the first couple night. He could cry for a few mins or a few hour just to let you know what you are going to have to do. He will get tired of scream and just pass out. After a few night he will learn that it is ok to sleep by his self. Good luck.

Answer 4

I have been in your shoes before with my first born (now 3 years old).

My youngest is now 7 months old. How do we get her to sleep? We rock or feed her until she is almost asleep, put her in the crib, and let her cry it out. She is usually asleep within five minutes (typically in a minute).

So how did we fix the problem with our first born and get our 2nd born to sleep well?

My pediatrician (also a family friend) recommended two books. One is somewhat controversial.

The first book is called “The No Cry Sleep Solution: Gentle Ways to Help Your Baby Sleep Through the Night” by Elizabeth Pantley and William Sears. I have never read or used this book, so I can not comment on how it works personally. When I used to lurk on the Parenting message boards on http://www.ivillage.com, many parents swear by it. It also has glowing reviews on Amazon.com.

The other book (which is somewhat controversial) is “Solve Your Child’s Sleep Problems” by Richard Ferber. Ferber’s original techniques involve a lot of crying. The original book, the one that I used, was published in 1986. Ferber recently rewrote the book in 2006. From what I heard, his technique has changed a lot. I found this book easy to use. The chapters were divided by sleep problems. For me, it was as simple as looking at the table of contents, finding my child’s issue, and read that chapter only. Like I said, this method (at least the old method) involved a lot of crying. It was a battle of wills. If you are going to do this, you have to be prepared to win at all costs (I ended up sleeping on a hardwood floor with my daughter laughing at me all night the first night).

With a little work, you will be able to correct your child’s sleep issues.

I wish you the best of luck!! Fix the issue now or it is only going to get worse when the child has a mind of its own.

I found the first child is a learning process. It gets much easier after that.

Answer 5

What I did was stopped letting mine take a long late afternoon nap. Then we set a schedule up. We ate dinner together and right after wards gave him a bath. After the bath my husband would wrestle and play with him. Then I would rock him and sing him lullabies until he fell asleep. I had put the rocking chair in the den and rocked him in there where we were alone.
He would usually fall asleep around 8:30 pm. Then I would put him to bed in his crib. If he woke up on the way to the crib I would tell him it was night-night time. Sometimes I woul;d have to sing another song on the way to the crib. But he soon learned that when it was time for bed, it was time for bed.

He is almost 3 now and he tells us when he is ready for bed. It is still around 8:30 or 9:00 pm. Every now and then he wants me to sing him a song and I do.

If you don't know any lullabies, an excellent c.d. to buy is Kenny Loggins' House At Pooh Corner.

It is a c.d. of just songs that he used to sing his children to sleep at night.

Good Luck.

Answer 6

Well, lets say you basically screwed up when you started this habit when he was a newborn. The best way to get newborns to sleep all night is to feed them and then put them in their own bed. Don't hold or coddle after feedings. But since your child is 8 months old, you'll have to do it the hard way. Any child needs a routine. The baby's bed should not be in your room. At night, when it's bedtime, start putting the baby down after his last feeding and a nice sootheing bath. He's not going to like it one bit; but he'll eventually stop crying and lay down and sleep. You have to be consistent, so get some earplugs. YOU created this "monster"!!! After he's quiet, you can check on him to make sure he's lying properly. Do it everytime he sleeps, or he'll be in your bed till he goes to kindegarten! I'm telling you this from personal experience....sigh! Believeme, I understand. Godloveya.

Answer 7

Well I was the same way with my daughter. I had to learn to just put her in her crib lay her down and walk away. Its the hardest thing to hear them cry but you have to let them or they will know that if they cry you will go running into the room. Make sure you close the door when you leave. You can also play soft music for him. If he cries longer than 15 minutes take him out and try again in a hour. good luck!

Answer 8

What I did was rock him and sing to him until he was asleep, or almost asleep, laid him down, and didn't go back in. At first, he sometimes cried a little at first when he heard someone outside his door, but after a short time he got used to it, and would just go to sleep after I put him down. Also, try to exercise him as much as possible earlier in the day, but then get calmer closer to when he goes to sleep, it may not look like it, but he'll fall asleep faster and easier when it's ligts out.

Answer 9

Try laying him down in his crib. Stay in the room in a chair so he can see you. But don't lay down with him. Every night move the chair farther away until it is out of the room. Try not to coddle him. Just let him know your there. You may have to sit there while he cries, but you know he's OK. Don't pick him up. He knows your in the room and he will eventually lay down. It may take a week or so, but stick to it. When your chair is out of the room you should be able to lay him down and walk out of the room at bed time.

Answer 10

Well he is use to you guys laying down with him. Maybe if you let him cry it out for a few nights he will be able to fall asleep on his own. My daughter did the same thing. We stopped laying with her and she stopped needing us to lay with her. Good luck!!