ok this guys and I had 1 date. I have told him about all the times I've been hurt, and he says he's not like that. He asked me out again. However we were on the phone last night and I think he hung up on me. But then he texted and said good night. I'm really scared of getting hurt again, AND he knows that. Ive done everything to scare this guy off telling him about my fears and he's still around. Should I just give in and trust him?
2006-09-20 02:42:07 · 21 answers · asked by for_runner0 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
You think he hung up on you? Well then, why didn't he call back instead of texting you? Don't you find that strange? One date, and spilling all your fears into this new person is called sabatoge. You don't think that you deserve happiness because you haven't ever experienced it. If you are looking for opinions, here is one that I hope you take to heart. You are a woman. Every woman has many hopes, but one right at the top of the list is to be loved, honored and cherished. It is your right to be spoken to kindly, without malice. It is your right to feel safe in the comfort of his arms. It is your right as a woman to not be afraid of everything that a relationship has to offer. And because of all of these rights, it is your right as a woman to say enough is enough and just take yourself a break to appreciate you and who you are and what you stand for. Investing too much into such a new friendship, because it can't even be considered a relationship yet, is not being careful. You have to protect your heart, and you know when something is wrong. We all do. We know when something in the pit of our stomachs is telliing us that something is just not right about the way that things are going. Take a break from the relationship game. Appreciate yourself again. Find the positive, and diminish the negative. And I bet that once you do, you will find that you have self-worth, that you are loveable, and that there is that one guy out there who isn't just going to tell you he isn't like that, he will show you. Go with your gut honey, and don't be afraid to be alone for a little while to find out what it has been telling you. Good luck and God bless...:)
2006-09-20 03:04:07 · answer #1 · answered by pamalamadingdong_1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well to me, it seems like this guy really likes you. So yeah you should give in to a new relationship. Just don't get caught up in any drama. Also take the time to figure out what this guy likes in a girl and what you like in a guy. Then compare. Trust me you know what youu are doing you just are afraid that this guy might actually sweep you right off your feet. And if you ask me the whole text messaging to tell you goodnight is way beyond sweet. Most guys would be too to do that. Life is all about taking chances and making mistakes, but also fixing them mistakes. So take the chance in a new relationship. Because if you don't in a few years you will be stuck wondering what you missed out on. So, take the chance if it don't work out at least you took the chance. GOOD LUCK!!!
2006-09-20 03:03:54 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately, there is no crystal ball that will tell us if we are going to get hurt in any relationship. We have to rely on our own judgments which often get clouded by everything else in any relationship. Just take things slowly, be open and honest and keep your guard up a little at all times! When there are little signs that you suspect mean trouble, trust your judgment! You can always discuss problems with someone who truly cares about you, so if you have questions, ask them, if you don't get the answer you think you should then there is probably a definite problem! In the end, we have to learn to trust someone so your best bet is to never give up trying to trust just be cautious in who you trust! Always be open to listening to opinions of your friends, family and those close to the situation since they often see things more clearly than you do!
2006-09-20 02:55:15 · answer #3 · answered by trinitarianwiccan 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Trust no man. If you like this guy just date for awhile and see what he's like. I'm a few months or so, he will most likely show his true colors. If he's still great than go for it. If not.... leave. I've been through a lot of hurt. It's better to wait than get into a relationship and fall hard for the guy, then the guy dumps you! If he respects your feelings then he's a nice guy.
2006-09-20 02:48:13 · answer #4 · answered by ☼Earthbound Misfit☼ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Can I ask why you would spill your guts on a first date?
It's really not to cool to be bringing all your baggage to the table on a first date. It should be a time for the 2 of you.
If he's still around, maybe he senced how insecure you are, and he may as well be the next to smash that insecurity.
Trust comes along when your heart tells you you can. So, trust in your heart, not others opinions.
2006-09-20 02:49:15 · answer #5 · answered by peggin_beast 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well everyone gets hurt and everyone hates it. I have walked in on my bf I so loved with all my heart with a co-worker of mine. Talk about shattered!! It took me over a year to even think about another guy. But now I am in a happy 1 1/2 year relationship and I have done everything possible to mess it all up but he is still here... So the point is you'll never love again if you don't allow your heart open and risk getting hurt. Things always show through in time but you don't want to bitter yourself. So I hope this guy is the one for you and you are able to open up for it. Good Luck to you!!
2006-09-20 02:47:30 · answer #6 · answered by Sandra 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ONE date and you told him all this stuff about how you've been hurt? Girlfriend, don't EVER...ever ever ever ever spill your guts like that on a first date! As sick as this is, there are some people out there who like "wounded" people.
You said that you think he hung up on you and didn't call you back? RED FLAG.
Be careful...don't just give your heart to anyone. That should be an honor not the norm.
Be easy.
2006-09-20 02:49:23 · answer #7 · answered by Marsha Mellow 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've got some questions for you --- what do you know about him? You said you told him all about your bad experiences. What did he tell you about his experiences? One date isn't enough to base a relationship on until you know more about where he is coming from. Is he even looking for a long term relationship? Or does he just want a "friend with benefits"?
Keep talking to him, but don't do all the talking -- make him talk, too! In the meantime, if another opportunity comes along, take it! You're young, don't rush into anything.
2006-09-20 02:48:15 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best thing to do, is take it slow, get to know each other, be friends, let your baggage of a bad relationship go, everyone is not the same, and let's hope that it was a learning experience for you. don't keep bringing it up, Learn to trust yourself, and then you can learn to trust others. Enjoy life, have fun!!!
2006-09-20 02:52:06 · answer #9 · answered by roseannetb@verizon.net 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YES> Just because you have had bad experiences, doesn't mean every guy in the world is a jerk. Give him a chance, but make sure that you are actually trying as well. If you are pushing him away, he will eventually break up with you because you are not willing to open up. Then you have no one to blame but yourself.
2006-09-20 02:46:21 · answer #10 · answered by little_crabcake 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋