Ok, I am a little confused right now. I was married to a man who didn't respect me or our family at all. I finally took my decision of getting divorce of him because he told me that he wanted to live free, doesn't matter that he after that, got involved with someone else.
I moved from states, and now he call me with breaking voice, how are you, how is our kid, does he miss me? What does he wants now? It was only a bad day?
When I asked what was wrong, he said, nothing, I will call you tomorrow.
What does he wants now? Please help.
2006-09-20 02:23:22 · 31 answers · asked by success532 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
After reading a couple of answer, I need to add, yes in our divorce agreement was a section that allow me to relocate us in the United States. And, about the relationship with our son, it was very poorly, he never got time for him (when we were living together as a "happy family") and even less after. The designated days sometimes become a problem for him. Now, he only call on weekends to speak to him. And my son, the father is like the resource to get what he can't get from me.
But I need to add, this is question is not related to my son or his "relationship" with his father. I just feel that this point is valid to try to understand why he is like that now. A person who until yesterday didn't care for us suddently he acts like that.
2006-09-20 02:58:26 · update #1
Probably looking for a place to "Crash"... live until his next mood swing. If your relationship had been a non committal relationship before... you might today be able to say 'you don't know what you got until you loose it' and could give the relationship another chance. BUTT there is nothing more committal than a 'Marriage' so forget the 'Bum' don't dwell on speculating or reasoning out his behavior...just move on. Make it very clear that you are not interested in him any more.NO MATTER HOW MUCH IT HURTS. It really sounds like a bad match between you two. Take a vacation from this situation for a healing of sorts, make it a good while, maybe a year or so and watch how you will be notified that he has again taken up with someone else. At which time you will have matured sufficiently to realize the reality of this relationship. Also Inform him he has to go thru legal channels if he wants child visitation rights, do not allow him free access to the child period, he may try to use the child as a pawn between you and him, this is child abuse of the worst kind. If he is man enough and loves his "Kid" he will go to court without hesitation. If he hesitates on it, he's a bum and you should dump him period. Take this from a father who seen this twice personally, and in real life a hundred times .
2006-09-20 02:25:56 · answer #1 · answered by oldtimer 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He must be having problems with his new woman, he must be doing the same thing to his new woman that he did to you and she is not putting up with the same b.s like the way you did also he probably misses all of the nice things that you did for him and he couldn't appreciate and he realizing it now, but if i was you stay strong a men that doesn't have any respect for you and your family is not worth it you can find someone better than that . I know is not easy just to let go of someone that you have been with along time but just becuase you have a child and you were together along time doesn't mean you have to put up with b.s. When he calls you tomorrow and tells you what he wanted make sure you don't give in he might of had a bad day with his new woman like i said earlier or he really misses you puttining up with his crap . Move on don't let him mess up your new life. If he wants to see his kid let him see it ,but don't give in . If he says he is a change man that been apart from you has made him realized how much he really loves you and wants to be back with you Don't give in make sure first that he really has change give it a few months , don't let him move in with you quickly make sure he shows you the respect you deserve not just show you respect but also to your family and surroundings. If this man only show you respect and not others he eventually go back to not showing you any respect is all a matter of time until he thinks he has you right where he wants you and you are going to end up been hurt again. Don't let him abuse you in any type of form.
2006-09-20 02:42:54 · answer #2 · answered by spang 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Did he ask about you, or just about his child?
Regardless of his relationship with you, he will always be a parent, and you two share a kid. He only abdicated on his relationship with you; he did not necessarily realize he was going to lose his child once you moved from the country, or how bad he would feel about it.
If he did not really inquire about you, but just your child together, then he was finally realizing that leaving you means losing a lot of access to his child, and he regrets that and isn't sure what to do.
An attempt to "get back together" thus won't really be for you but for him to get access to his kid again. I would just read his call as an attempt to find out how his kid was and not as interest in you.
While your child should not be placed in the middle, it's possible you still need to deal with his parental rights.
When your divorce occurred, there were probably visitation rights of some sort that were set up. Do you know what they were? I assume you have custody, and these would describe his non-custodial legal rights as the father.
I'm not sure, but it might be illegal to take a child from the country without court approval, depending on the custody agreement. You will have to check with a legal representative; I don't know much about international custody issues and how all that works.
(Even if there are rules, I'm not sure how they would be enforced either.)
Good luck!
2006-09-20 02:47:08 · answer #3 · answered by Jennywocky 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I have an ex-wife like that............. I don't understand it either. My wife cleared the house out one night, and 3 hours after being divorced she asked if we could watch a movie together and calls once a week.
I chalk it up to her making the wrong decision and thinking the grass was greener on the other side of the fence and hoping things can go back to where they were before.
You need to be strong and move on.
2006-09-20 02:39:37 · answer #4 · answered by mlblue66 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
After the child is born have the paternity attempt regardless. If the child is yours then that's yours. Now that grew to become into user-friendly. yet, if the child isn't yours then 2 issues can ensue, you are able to settle for the newborn or reject the newborn. the two way the child merits to have a scientific historic previous of his organic and organic father and that facet of the relatives. accompanied toddlers are often times scoffed at yet they are chosen, often times fought for and constantly needed. that's greater suitable than some organic toddlers can say. So what ever you do, what ever you come back to a call, get the newborn a scientific historic previous of his organic and organic father no count who which would be.
2016-10-15 05:15:51 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wh yare you asking us ? Seems you know who to ask , just that you are afraid to ask the right person.Wait and see if he calls you back and IF he is man enough to tell you what is wrong or how hethinks.If not why worry over something that does not concern you.
I understand you may stil lcare for him but he is not worried about himself then there is little anyone can do for him now.Also I hope he does have some type of relationship with his children.By you post here seems he has little to do with them ,that is truely the sad issue.Hope it works out and if he does not tell you I would just live my life and continue to be there for your lil ones.
2006-09-20 02:28:48 · answer #6 · answered by Glenn T 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well,i guess he has nothing ele to do in life now and so he wants to get you back...but its completely your decision and trust me its not worth being with some one who doesnt respect you,he might try to convince you by changing and stuff but all that would be temperory cos such people never change....let him know you are well off alone and i suggest dont even try for any friendship with him cos that would just add on to your worries and nothing else and will also affect your kid!!good luck!!
2006-09-20 02:28:17 · answer #7 · answered by country_girl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hey ,there was a success in ur name ,so why u r confuse..
dont be confuse! and let give him opportuinity to being heared .i think there was every problem has soluation,and if the doors of conversesion will close ,then no one can solved the prob.
so be cool think about ur and ur kids future ... and then take the rt desigon.
i think u can get whAT i want to explain to u ...
if u found any logic in my think ing then ,think by this way
iknow u r competant to solve any prob..
so tk care ,bye
my id is get_tinu27@yahoo.com
2006-09-20 02:36:09 · answer #8 · answered by raghvendra a 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
His current relationship is probably in trouble and he's feeling lonely and sorry for himself. Just ignore him and don't give him another chance to come into your life.
2006-09-20 02:26:43 · answer #9 · answered by DrSH 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do not ever go back, he had his chance and blew it. If you ever go back, you will regret. What has changed? nothing he is selfish and he is sad that he never got his way
regards
2006-09-20 02:32:30 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋