I should mention that I am gay myself and live in a very very loving monogamous relationship with a man for 7 years now. My neighbor is married to a woman with 2 small kids and I know he's gay because I have caught him at local gay hangouts. He has no idea I have seen him. I have seen him making out and even going to places where I am fully aware guys go to have sex with other guys. Also, everytime his wife goes away, "his friend" comes by and stays there. I can't stand them, not because he's living a lie cause that's something he has to deal with himself, but because they are obnoxious. For starters, they told me once too bad you guys can't have kids and another time he mistook me for hired help because I'm latin an was working on my own lawn!
2006-09-20 01:15:36 · 27 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
I should mention that I am gay myself and live in a very very loving monogamous relationship with a man for 7 years now. My neighbor is married w/ 2 kids to a woman who doesn't know he's gay & I know he's gay because I have caught him at local gay hangouts. He has no idea I have seen him. I have seen him making out & even going to places where I am fully aware guys go to have sex with other guys. Also, everytime his wife goes away, "his friend" comes by and stays there. I can't stand them, not because he's living a lie cause that's something he has to deal with himself, but because they are obnoxious. For starters, they told me once too bad you guys can't have kids and another time he mistook me for hired help because I'm latin an was working on my own lawn! I have no plans at all in outing him, like I said before, it's his business, my main question was what do you guys think about a gay guy living a lie by marrying a woman and having 2 kids and at the same time looking down on others
2006-09-20 02:29:33 · update #1
I never said I was going to out him, if you notice I stated it's his business to deal with. I am a gay man myself and I would never out him to his family, that's not my place. All I wanted to know was What do you think about my neighbore being a closeted gay man and married to a woman with 2 kids? We already don't speak because he's an idiot and she's pure evil.
2006-09-20 04:22:44 · update #2
He sounds like a real jackass.
And he is cheating on his wife, unless she knows and has consented. (Don't laugh, it happens!)
What would you do if you saw him with another woman? That might be a start.
I'd worry for the wife and kids, but since you also don't have a good rapport with the wife, am not sure how you'd go about talking to her. I can only think of two things:
1. Next time you see him in the club, let him *know* you see him. Smile broadly and wave! Make it your business to be visible! That oughta freak him out well enough.
2. If you have a cameraphone, use it. You can develop pictures from a cameraphone now, at those computers in the drugstore. Drop the pictures in an envelope, anonymously, on her doorstep when he's away.
2006-09-20 03:28:01 · answer #1 · answered by GreenEyedLilo 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It really doesn't matter what I or anyone else thinks of it. He will have to deal with his own crap. He really shouldn't be cheating on his wife. I think a person should live an honest life, and I pity those who are scared to because they're missing out. I've met bisexuals who KNOW that they cannot have a full-blown relationship AND have another person on the side, so they "pick one." They still have attractions towards the other gender, but they may not act on it. It is complicated, but they learn that most relatoinships will not work in threes. Most people want to be coupled, not triangular. If you cannot fully commit in marriage, then don't get married. This guy needs to PICK ONE and let go of the other. You cannot have both forever.
2006-09-20 02:41:20 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
What's the question? If you are asking if you should out this guy to his wife because you don't like him, then I say no...mind your own business. Maybe the wife knows more about her husband than you do. And I certainly would not want some neighbor or stranger coming up to me and telling me some information about my partner.
Update: After your further explanations, I stand by my first answer and add that I would rather have the gay or bi guy and his evil wife as my neighbors than you. I would hate to have a neighbor that was so fascinated by my life that they felt the need to post it on Yahoo. Also, the comment of 'too bad you guys can't have kids' could have been a compliment saying that they thought you would make good parents.
2006-09-20 01:50:37 · answer #3 · answered by Spyder 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Just start calling him "Mc Greevey" in reference to the ex Gov who recently came out. You do know Mc Greevey was having gay affairs while married, one while she was giving birth to their child!
DO NOT provoke him in anyway, just next time he says something to you, just reply "Ok Mc Greevey" and leave it at that.
That should be sufficient enough to get the point across.
But seriously, I'd stay out of it. What everyone has said already is the right way to go, don't get involved. It's not your place to destroy his marriage for him. He's already heading down that path just fine on his own. You do not want to give them anyone to put the blame on, namely you.
Just, if he does become obnoxious to you, just call him Mc Greevey, it'll shut him up and that should be the end of that. He'll know you know about his secret. Whatever arrangement or not he may or may not have with his wife, it's really between them.
2006-09-20 03:12:24 · answer #4 · answered by DEATH 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
High fences make good neighbors, and the fences don't always have to be of wood!
Leave it alone UNTIL the next time HE insults you or takes some kind of unprovoked action against you. At that time, just drop a "I saw you at......., did you have a good time?" and leave it at that. I think you will have built a VERY HIGH fence with that simple statement.
Under no circumstances should you talk to his wife...she sounds like a person I would want NO communication with anyway.
Good luck
2006-09-20 05:48:35 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
When you see him in the club next time and walk up to him and say heyyyy neighbor.... and then see his reaction.. you will know if his wife knows or not by the look on his face... but i would say something ONLY if you are close with the wife... because that is how diease gets around.... but if you dont have a close relationship with your neighbors i wouldnt say anything.. OR ask his wife to go out with you and just happen to go to a gay bar that he visits and let her see for herself... it really depends on how close you are with these people.. and how deep u want to get involved
2006-09-20 04:36:27 · answer #6 · answered by sexylilles 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So basically you are just pissed because bisexuals can have their cake and eat it too.
I mean I get that he is cheating on his wife in your eyes and you are noblely not going to out him as outing any homosexual be it a mono-sexual or bisexual is not any-ones place but the person who needs to come out. Besides who wants the bad karma associated with that. If I was you I would ignore it. When his indiscretion outs him to his wife and family I would not want to have any part of the karmic fall out from that.
Yes he is a racist jerk and confront him with that if you want but do not let him know you know about him being bisexual or gay because that might be dangerous for you. I would just avoid him. Limit your contact with him as much as possible.
Unpleasant people bring about their own hell and homo-phobics need to take heed that they are digging their own graves with regard to how they treat homosexuals due to their own fear about their own orientation.
Karma is real, people as you sew so shall you reap.
2006-09-20 04:15:17 · answer #7 · answered by ♂ Randy W. ♂ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not your place to point out his secret life, and it is probably only a matter of time before all the sh*t hits the fan anyway, so to speak.
Maybe, the next time he says something insulting to you, you should drop a discrete hint that you are aware of what is happening.
At least that way, he'll leave you alone, and may even be so worried he tells his wife.
Are you sure she doesn't know? They may have an "arrangement" - maybe when she goes away, she is getting a bit on the side too
2006-09-20 01:21:07 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
I'd simply make sure the next time you see him at one of the local gay hangouts you make a point of saying hello and possibly inviting Him and his Wife over for dinner....
Sometimes a "nice" little hint will put a jerk back in his place.
And now all I can think about is that silly movie, "I know what you did last summer".
2006-09-20 01:43:58 · answer #9 · answered by IndyT- For Da Ben Dan 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I think since you have to live next to this guy, you need to ignore his personal life and just try to be as neighborly as you can. If you confront him about being gay you may make him even more obnoxious than he is now, and you will have gained nothing. Just leave him and his wife be, for everyone's sake.
2006-09-20 01:24:55 · answer #10 · answered by rosecitylady 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋