I love my wife very much, but over the 5 years we've been together, she's put on quite a bit of weight. She's never been skinny, but she really hasn't been trying to stay in shape at all since we've been married. I want to be honest with her and tell her that she needs to lose some weight, but I also don't want to upset her more than necessary. This is more about her health and well-being than me finding her attractive (I tell her often that I love her and she's beautiful.) I've tried to hint at it before, but I think a more direct approach would be better. What do you think, and how should I go about it?
2006-09-20 00:26:43 · 25 answers · asked by mojo4395 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I know that she's aware of needing to lose weight. It's not a matter of she doesn't know, it's a matter of actually doing something about it.
2006-09-20 00:33:47 · update #1
Sounds like you really care about your wife. First you should start by telling her you are concerned about her health. Hopefully she does not take offense to that. But let her know how much you love her, and you'd like to get as many years out of her as you can. You should plan things with her. Buy her a bike, go bike riding together atleast 1 or 2 times a week. Treat her to a romantic walk in the park. Do it suttle. Then progress the excericises as you go on such as start going to the gym and using the step o matic. Maybe if you don't say anything at all to her about being concerned and just start doing more activities with her, it'll start coming off before you know it.
2006-09-20 00:32:37 · answer #1 · answered by Mother of One 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you really think your wife could gain a lot of weight and not know about it? Has it occurred to you that she might be comfortable with her current weight?
The only thing you might do is suggest that the two of you start some activitiy together (join a gym, enroll in a dance class, anything that will be an active sort of thing), but DON'T say it's to help her lose weight, just say you want to spend time with her doing something you can both enjoy. If she improves her fitness level and loses some weight at the same time, all the better for her health and you didn't have to hurt her feelings to make it happen.
2006-09-20 07:37:39 · answer #2 · answered by Liz 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first love her no matter what her weight. the problem is most women have a very difficult time with weight, guys can lose and gain easily but with all the hormones coursing through a woman there are lots of things to keep her from keeping it off. i always equate it to this....you know there are some ppl who are thin no matter what they eat or how much....naturally thin. so if that is true then there are some ppl no matter how little (unless they literally starve themselves) they eat or what they keep weight
on...naturally heavier. and trying to starve yourself to fit an 'image' is as unhealthy as being overweight. that being said why not ask her to start going for walks with you before dinner or in the mornings? you can use the excuse that you want to get healthy yourself and want to live a quality life when you are older...start out with 3 times a week just around the block and work up to a mile, then add days or miles as you two see fit. you don't have to start out walking fast but build up to it. 'power' (or fast) walking for 1-2 miles 3 times a week is a great cardio workout and its very easy on the knees and joints. the really nice thing is it does several things...it gets you both moving and excersizing, gives you more energy so you feel better, you lose weight or tone and most importantly it gives you great quality time together.
2006-09-20 07:35:07 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell her you have two words for her Jenny Craig! Get you both a membership at a gym, set aside time each day to workout together, you will have to take interest in it also, do the grocery shopping from now on or make sure with her when you do the grocery shopping, have her fix meals that are both nutrional and healthy for dinner that everone in the house is going to eat, it is very diffucult to eat right when you are the only one and everyone in the house is eating what they want, if you love her than this is an committment just like the day you got married, support her and he self esteem, make sure she understands that she is not losing weight for you, but for her health, be kind but be direct
Peace and Love
2006-09-20 07:37:53 · answer #4 · answered by kalela L 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You said that you think a direct approach is better. IT IS TRUE.
Just constantly remind her that she needs to lose some weight, not because you don't find her attractive, but because (tell her all your reasons) and most of all, constantly reaffirm how much you love her.
My husband would from time to time remind me to keep away from fatty food and lose some weight and I have tried so damn hard to do it for him. Even if its just about 2 pounds a month (really so small and not really noticeable weight loss), when I tell him that I lost some pounds, he always would give me a big smile.
2006-09-20 07:31:22 · answer #5 · answered by Busy Diyosa 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey dude my wife is over weight.. so you try to say that she need to lose weight what if she became 50 60 years old will you be doing that telling her???
Support her and tell her what you want to do? Me, She eating healthy and kids and i eatting junk food and notice not fair for her so I told her I will eat same thing you eating healthy food. she was happy so ever since better. maybe you need to start eating healthy she will do the same. Just love her dude you said little over weight?? my god that nothing.
you telling her you love her and she beautiful so what the point you tried to hint at it before????? I don't mean to be rude but you need to love her no matter what. if you not happy then leave. Even if she knew about it and she didn't do nothing about it? so she made that choice. so. sorry but you need really support her and tell her what she want to do and do it together if you can't do it together what the point?
2006-09-20 08:05:43 · answer #6 · answered by greenbaypackers1920 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You've been married for 5 years so I think you should be honest with her. She knows she needs to lose weight I'm sure...Offer to walk and excercise together. It would be good time spent together. Does she go to the doctor regurlaly? Well..just be supportive and be there for her but I would definately start the excersice routine together.
2006-09-20 09:09:19 · answer #7 · answered by nicknamegone 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get her the Carmen Electra Stripperobics, or some belly dancing videos. They are a great work out and very fun to do. It's so much fun it isn't like a workout at all. Get them and tell her that you think that it would be so hot if she danced like that for you. Once she learns the moves, dances for you and sees how much you LOVED it, she will keep it up because you enjoy it, and she will feel good about herself.
2006-09-20 08:50:40 · answer #8 · answered by Snow 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't talk to her about it,, cuz you are asking for a huge fight,, just start trying to eat better,, the whole family not just single her out,, start doing more activities outside that include exercise,, like bike riding or walking after dinner,, then once she starts to lose alittle it might make her want to try harder to lose more,,
Trust me,, I had gastric bypass surgery 2 yrs ago, I haven't gained anything back,, but Hubby told me a couple weeks ago,, I should start going back to the gym cuz I could stand to lose a little more weight ( I have lost 115 lbs) I almost died,, that he could think I am fat and ugly after all the hard work I have put into this,, he was trying to be helpful,, but it hurt sooo badly!!!!
2006-09-20 08:07:42 · answer #9 · answered by B V 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your hairline isn't receding and you are just as muscular as you were 5 years ago Then by all means speak to your wife about this. Has she given birth? Is she the primary care giver of the child? Take up the slack and responsibilities at home and this will free up her time to spend only on herself.
2006-09-20 09:05:38 · answer #10 · answered by GrnApl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋