she is 30 yrs old, i am looking after her 12 yr old daughter.
I am an ex addict myself and went of to rehab, went to meeting, went to counciling and learned how to deal with life in a healthy, mature manner.
The problem for me is that I havent yet learned to deal with my daughters addictoin and need some helpfull advice and feed back.
2006-09-20 00:14:46 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Beauty & Style ➔ Fashion & Accessories
The sad truth here is one you already know with your own involvement in addiction and rehab. The only ones you can save are yourself and the child. You are not going to be able to tell her anything she doesn't already know. All you can do is offer support if she wants help and love no matter what. It is so hard to watch a loved one go through this. We outsiders see life very rationally, so it doesn't make sense. The user has no use for rationality and therefore makes it very hard to get your point across. She will have to arrive at a crossroads and decide for herself that she no longer wants this kind of life. At that point is when she will need all the love, understanding and support you can possibly give.
2006-09-20 00:31:08 · answer #1 · answered by Letsee 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You are doing about the only thing you can, looking after your dear granddaughter so that she is safe and well cared for. You know from experience that you can't force anybody into rehab or make them quit before they are ready.
Just be the best guardian you can to the little girl, and don't give her all the gory details of her mother's problem. She needs to know that her mother is sick, she has a disease. You are there for her until her mother is well again, and you will do whatever you can for her.
Then don't enable your daughter. When she comes around, don't let her in the door when she is stoned. She is only welcome in your home when she is clean and sober. She should not be around the daughter when she is loaded, it will only hurt the girl and give her the wrong impression. Even if it's only for a few hours, she will eventually realize that if she wants to be in her daughter's life (and yours) she needs to make some changes. Hopefully, the more you encourage abstinence, the more she will be to see that she needs to make a change in her life. While you can't force it, or push her to a decision, you can set boundaries for her. In addition, keep business cards around with the name, location, and phone numbers of the places you went. Whenever she comes around, you can give her a card, and let her know that there is help out there. One time she may just call the number, or show up at a meeting.
Maybe look into therapy for you and the girl. Whether it's a clergy member or a psychologist, a professional trained in family matters may help you to learn to deal with this better.
Good Luck!
2006-09-20 01:46:21 · answer #2 · answered by welches_grape_jelly 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being that you are an addict yourself, you know first hand there is reallyy nothing you can do, but love her, pray for her, be there for her without enabling her addiction. When and if she is ready you may be able to share with her the gift of sobriety, and how it has changed your life. I am praying for you! When she has a sober moment and may listen to you, see if she will consider going into a rehabilitation facility. Good luck, and keep the faith, I know this has to be horrible for you. You and your family are in my prayers. And please be kind to your grand daughter when discussing her mother, she has enough pain right now. Just explain to her that mommy is sick, and that her mother loves her she is just really sick right now and isn't caring well for herself so therefore she is unable to care for you. Addiction is a disease, a reall sickness. I don't believe any addict wakes up one day and Say's I want to be addicted, if it were that easy they would choose differently.
Some people are just predisposed to addiction especially when they have one or both parents who are addicts. Keep praying and be strong for that little girl. And please educate your granddaughter on the illness of addiction it is never to soon.
Good luck and God bless you. If addiction were not a disease so many people would not have the issue, drug addiction dosent discriminate it attacks people from every race and economic background.
2006-09-20 00:55:05 · answer #3 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dear Trish, Do you still have contact with your counselor? If you do you should go and get some ideas from him. I would try to talk to her when she is in a good mood. Point out to her that her behavior will affect her daughter and that you know what she is going through. She may become hostile if she thinks you are judging. Tell her that you love her and you are thankful that God put her in your life. I'll pray for ya'll. Love, Ellen in Tn.
2006-09-20 00:22:34 · answer #4 · answered by roofergirl30 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Hey, can't understand,,,,,shez 12 0r 30??? never mind, you want her 2 quit, try it in a gentle manner. If she refuses again, try the rough manner. Also make her pay a visit to a doctor!
2006-09-20 00:30:45 · answer #5 · answered by sando 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1
2017-03-01 01:27:18 · answer #6 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
rehabilitation center too.
2006-09-20 00:17:35 · answer #7 · answered by lulu 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋