is it ok to have make love with the person you love before marriage?

Question

I am in love with a girl and she loves me to and v have been going out for almost a year.. i want to ask if is ok to make love before marriage or not v want to get married but after a year. V have a guilty feeling of going all the way before marriage. and r thinking that v should do "IT" once v are married to each other. So that something is there that v havent done. So is it ok to do it before too ???????????????????????? Please sincearly advise as i am in INDIA really different to the Western Culture

Answer 1

I guess you're the only one who can really answer that question, but I guess you're asking because you're confused. Maybe I can help you sort it out.
a) Are you worried because of religious /moral reasons of your own? In that case, I'd say it's really a matter of how you resolve your issues, but if you know you're going to marry that person, I personally don't see a problem with it, but only you can really decide that for yourself.
b) Is it more because you're worried about what your/her parents / the community in general might think? In that case, I'd say do your best to keep it between the two of you - it's not really their business if you ask me. I'm not from India, so I don't know how open people generally are with their families, but if you're already psychologically intimate, you should be able to trust each other to keep a secret.
c) Perhaps you're worried the union might not really be as strong as you thought and you might discover sex ruined it at some level. Again, I'm a North American and we think things differently, but my view is if the union is not that strong to begin with, you might as well find out now.

Anyway, I hope this is helpful. But again, only you and your fiancee can ultimately answer that one.

Answer 2

hey wats the answer lies within u when u have the guilty feelin inside hesistating u to do it then y do u try 2 go against ur conscience if ur sure tht u n ur spouse r definetely going to get married then y do u want 2 be hasty .The atmosphere n the people around u might urge ur desire but try to be a civilised n marriages r made not out of fantasy but 2 differentiate us from animals who have sex but dont get married .But even if u dont trust urself then the choice is urs.

Answer 3

Its all a matter of personal choice.If you both want it u can go ahead but since u seem to harbour some guilty notions about it being wrong it wud be better if u wait.But if both of u are convinced its ok--then go ahead but keep in mind all consequences.

Answer 4

i think if you both can control yourself than well and fine and if you both cannot than go for it, cause i see it as one of the forms of love and there's is nothing wrong in it if you both are soon getting married to each other. i know in indian culture is wrong but it's better to go and fulfill our desires with right person and rather than doing something wrong in hasty conditions. I think it's ok but don't tell this to anyone and keep it to your both self and enjoy it. it's the most precious thing to happen to you.

Answer 5

if ur in india then forget abt it as i am know that indian girls are not really going to do this but perhaps time's change since that period and if you make her understand that there's no such danger she's imagining!but if you really want to marry her the don't force her of you'll repent it afterwards...

Answer 6

That can only be decided between you and your partner, and also your religion. If it forbids it before marriage and you are devout, you may want to wait until you are married.

Answer 7

I live in the Philippines and my culture isn't as open to premarital sex as most Western countries.

Quoting from Oprah: "DOUBT MEANS DON'T."

So if you have any doubts, then don't do it. Do it if your mind is free and you are 100% sure that you should do it. :)

Answer 8

ya its okay
but plzz make sure tht ur gf doesnt mind making luv b4 marriage.
dont go against her so soon
she"ll starting thinking negatively abt u, once u go against her.
first c tht she is ready 4 it
all the best

Answer 9

dun do it b4 marriage... u have to wait if u wanna noe whether she really lyks u. if both of u really do love each other, you will wait. im not doubting ur relationship but anything might juz happen...

Answer 10

SINCE YOU HAVE RESISTED SO FAR...KEEP THE SPIRIT HIGH AND ABSTAIN FROM THE SIN...TO INCULCATE GOOD VALUES IT TAKES A LIFETIME AND TO LET GO OF THESE HIGH VALUES TAKES ONLY A WEAK MOMENT....BE STRONG AND WAIT FOR THE FIRST NIGHT....ALL THE BEST