Why can't I get my ex out of my head?

Question

I split up with my ex 5 years ago because although we had been together 7.5 years and had a son together he still wouldn't think about marriage.

I left and in time I met another man with whom I had another child to but every day I thought about my ex. I married this other man, in a blur I stood in the registry office "pretending" it was my ex. I entered wedlock on a dream, however as you can imagine the marriage turned sour and we are in the process of getting divorced.

Since me and my husband split I think about him everyday, we are still good friends even after dumping him and he is an active father to our son. I cry every night thinking how stupid I have been.

What should I do?

Answer 1

first love is hard to forget.

it takes --
a second to have a crush on someone
a day to fall in love
but it takes a lifetime to forget the one u love

Answer 2

I know how you feel! I was with a women 7.5 years, we had a son, and split almost 5 years ago. I still have thoughts about her and think of reasons why we couldn't make it work. These thoughts are very common. You have to ask yourself, does not being married realy affect the way you feel about him? Does it affect how good of a father he is? Do you think he would be any different if you two were married? I believe that if two people are together and happy, thats all you need. He might be afraid of marriage, the commitment can be overwhelming for some. Ask him exactly why he is afraid to get married and see if you can work it out. Living together and being married is not any different from one another except that you have the same name and if you feel like you can't make it, the courts get involved. I suggest you try to work it out and don't give up on him. HOPEITWORKSOUT

Answer 3

Marriage is for grown ups and you are not obviously grown up. Marriage is also something all should respect and should be for a lifetime. The ones that suffer when relationships go wrong are the children and before considering another relationship you should consider whether yet another child by another man is fair to that child or the children you already have. Sleeping around is not good for you or anyone else and that is what you are doing.
Take a step back and think about the things missing in your life and find out exactly where you want to go. A life time of having children in and out of wedlock won't achieve anything but hurt. You need to see a councillor to help you sought out your life.

I'm sorry that's the way I see it.

Answer 4

Tell him how you feel and go from there. Also don't forget how your kids feel too!
I married my ex and through out the 25 years of marriage I thought about my first love and never expected to ever meet him again as he lived in a different part of the country. However I did meet him and we have been living together for over two years

Answer 5

u can't really forget the one you loved! he's been a part of ur life and u can't change it anymore.. move on.. that's life..sometimes, we do stupid things when we are in love but the best thing about it, we learned from our mistakes. give much of your time with ur children. cry if u wanna cry. it can help u to release all the pains. GOD Bless!

Answer 6

marriage isnt everything abt a r/s. if u 2 could live together w.o getting married + have a kid, it shouldnt have been an issue

ask him for another chance. good luck love.

Answer 7

because u still luv him. U must discuss this with him.

Answer 8

go out and get hammered tonight, you confused woman

Answer 9

just be with him and don't say ex.

Answer 10

u can not foget it, its forever...