I truly trust my spouse but I work in a high stress protection job overseas in the middle east! I asked her not to talk or go out with certain people while I was gone. I do trust her and I do believe in her independence, but I do not need the stress of worrying about how these single male friends may try to take advantage of my being gone! I do not care if they talk on the phone but would prefer they not meet for drinks or come over to my house or her to theirs while I am away. Bare in mind I have never met any of these people!
2006-09-19 20:12:15 · 24 answers · asked by marine_one1996 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Ok yes I trust her! It is not her it is them and I do not think it is alot to ask considering she knows if my mind is not in the right place I can die or get others killed! My job is dangerous, we both accept that fact. And I do not meet with my single female friends without her present or call them without her knowing! She is the one that thinks I just hate everyone she knows but then again she has never introduced me to any of them! There are only three guys I will absolutely never accept because they are strung out on Meth! I do not want her around people like that!
2006-09-19 20:23:37 · update #1
depends on who shes hanging out with.
2006-09-19 20:22:38 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you watch The Unfaithfull starring Richard Gere? Hmmm... Well, all you can rely on is trust. Hey, your wife loves you. Shw wouldn't go through all that marriage and stuff if she doesnt love and trust you. Of course, there is that "outside" factor to be considered but still, you have to trust her. If you still worry, hey, talk to her. There should be an open communication. When you're at home, give her some flowers or gift because you just want to. Make her feel that you love her and trust her because this would strengthen the bond between you too. Yes, you're thinking, "But I'm afraid these unknown people would do something to her", so? Your wife may be worrying about the same to you. Teache her some basic self-defense (I teach my sisters). Call her once in a while but don't prohibit her of her freedom. Communicate, it works! Air out your concern but don't overpower her with lectures and "I know,but| lines. Be open. Remember, she's your wife, bestfriend and the person who would stand by you always.
2006-09-19 20:23:21 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What else can you do???? It is not like you can parent her.... I mean seriously... what would you say if she forbid you to something... it will only push her away. Just tell her that you would at least prefer that she doesn't drink with the men or meet with them alone because it isn't a safe thing for her to do. Ask her how she would feel if she did get drunk with one of her friends and wake up next to them and if the the risk is worth hurting your feelings. But you have to allow her to make her own decisions... cannot force someone into something....that is called abuse. Wouldn't you rather know that if she made the more respectable choices that she did so because she loves you and cares about how you feel...not because you forced????? And just in case she is a cheater... you cannot do anything to prevent it...if she is going to, trying to force something on her won't do any good...just push further towards the other option. Good luck.
2006-09-19 20:35:01 · answer #3 · answered by Country 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont think why should she curtail her social boundries if her husband is working overseas.
Best way to avoid such situation is, take her with yourself. If you are not with her then obviously she will get bored doing nothing. And if she is a working lady then she must be smart enough to take care of herself.
Anyway it all depends upon the mutual understanding you ppl have. i mean if you havnt maintained any such trend of hanging out with frnds, then you might feel odd. But if you think from her point of view then she also alone here. You are in a new city, new environment.. so u must be prety occupied with work. But she has nothing to do. She respects you and thats why she told you tht she is hanging out with other guy. You should be happy that you can trust her. If you try to remotely control her you will loose respect. Morever if you dont have enough faith in her then you should not have left her alone, keep her with you.
2006-09-19 20:27:50 · answer #4 · answered by nitinrajnigam 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is dangerous to make demands like that. You should talk to her about how you are feeling. If she truly loves you, she will respect your feelings and act carefully so that she doesnt hurt you. This doesnt mean she wont see these men, but she will probably take more precautions to not be in a scenario where she may be tempted to cheat because she knows you are worried about it. If you tell her not to visit with these men, then she will become resentful and feel that you are trying to control her. Instead, explain to her that you would feel more comfortable if she only visited with them in group settings--dinner parties, sports events, etc. Then you won't have to worry about her cheating and she won't have to worry about jeopardizing her relationship. Remember, when it comes to relationships, good communication is the key. You need to communicate your feelings with your spouse but not in a way that may make her feel inhibited or controlled.
2006-09-19 20:20:31 · answer #5 · answered by AKA 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes. This certain group is call whoever the heck she wants to. I'm sorry I sound like a jerk, but the best way to lose her is to try to control her like that. If you trust her, then you trust her, no bones about it. If she sees that you are trying to tell her who to hang out with, she may see this as you don't trust her, and go find someone who does.
Let her be. She will do you proud.
2006-09-19 20:24:46 · answer #6 · answered by Space Case 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I can't see why she shouldn't. If you trust her completely there's no issue there. If she's truly not at all interested, she won't let herself get into a situation that might be uncomfortable for all involved. It's not like you can really stop her anyway if you're not going to be there. And there's nothing worse than a jealous, over-protective partner.
2006-09-19 20:16:27 · answer #7 · answered by zanzibar138 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that's pretty understandable...you don't know what the intentions are of these guys. I think if you explain how you feel to her, she will understand where you're coming from. Ultimately though, it is her decision whether or not to associate with them. I think as long as you both respect each other's opinions and keep the communication lines open you shouldn't have to worry as much. Good luck :)
2006-09-19 20:18:37 · answer #8 · answered by way_2_short84 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's a reasonable request. My husband is in the military and he isn't too fond of the "wives club" himself as he thinks they're a bad influence and that is why I don't hang around with them. It's not that he doesn't trust me. He just doesn't trust the other people.
2006-09-19 20:17:10 · answer #9 · answered by cheetah7 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yeah i understand your stress. just talk over your spouse about all these things. show that you trust her and you have given full independence to her. that way she will understand that you trust her. such small matters actually helps a relation a great deal. all these factors would help her to take good decisions and as such she will know to whom she should hangout so that you dont have to worry.
2006-09-19 20:20:55 · answer #10 · answered by george 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i can imagin how you feel..... but if you trust her, accept her to have friends and have a life thou in a more desent manner because whether you like it or not, she needs to move on out of your presence. just give her limitatons i.e, whether you comfortable with male or women, the time she has to home, e.t.c but you can't completely stop some one to have friends and being happy other your making her miserable will shun her or push her completely.
Best of luck lol.
2006-09-19 20:29:47 · answer #11 · answered by kiss me. 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋