hi everyone. i actually dont need advices, just opinions. i am married 2 years already, am young-23. we had a child who died.
he is far away for 4 months already. and i feel i dont luv him anymore. i feel he is myfriend, we talk by phone, write, but i cant even say "baby" to him or"miss u" coz i dont miss him at all.
i can ttell him this things, and dont know if i should do this. if i stay with him the rest of my life i know it will be ok-a good calm respectfull husband, a big house , car, maybe children.
but i cant even imagine to let him touch me, or kiss or make luv. mabey there's somebody who experienced the same?! pls give ur opinion.
2006-09-19 20:04:31 · 17 answers · asked by notme 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Well, you didn’t say how long you’ve been together before tying the knot. If it was a shotgun marriage, your love for him isn’t strong. Sad to know … your deceased child might have hurt you much but your husband isn’t paying much attention.
If your husband is usually too busy, away for work frequently and put little effort to make your marriage works, it is not surprising at all about how you feeling now.
Overwhelmed by these things, you may be in a state of self denial with more and more questions running through your mind. And in my opinion, it can only get worse.
OK that is about all. I hope it will help you find the answers you want (didn’t attempt to advise).
2006-09-19 21:23:47 · answer #1 · answered by Cool 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi, sorry to hear about the death of your child.....R.I.P................ In my opinion, if you are not happy you need to move on...A relationship should feel comfortable...and if you can't even call him baby, or you miss him....that tells you, you are miserable...regardless of the situation, whether he was there more often...and you were miserable....what is the difference? Nothing...they are the same thing...because you are still miserable...I know you are still very young...and life is too short to be so miserable....Most people desire a relationship...but we have to be willing to ACCEPT....NOT....EXPECT.....I know how hard relationships can be....but if BOTH people in the relationship are not working on it...and feel comfortable being with each other, then why waste your time feeling so bad...NO ONE can CHANGE another person...if two people can't get to an understanding of certain issues in a relationship....one thing I have learned over the yrs. Is YOU are the only person that can make you happy...we set ourselves up for, it's call DISAPPOINTMENT...if you expect something to be a certain way before you really know how it will be...we are setting OURSELVES up for disappointment!!! If we go with the flow and ACCEPT how things are or not.......if you have tried and it has not worked...the amount of time you have put into this marriage should be working well together by now...if unless you both are willing to go to counseling....sometimes it works for worse...not accepting so many things...Sometimes it is really great...and it may be only little things you each need to do for yourselves...and for each other...no telling, I can only imagine, from my own experiences...I don't mean to keep giving you a back and forth, way to do or not to do with your relationship...I am just giving you options...as I am thinking of them...In whatever decision you make....Best wishes.....Breathe......One day at a time......Keep the Faith.......
~PEACE~
2006-09-20 04:10:24 · answer #2 · answered by no_doubt! 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you feel this way because you have drifted apart,after the death of a child and him being away that is normal.The thing is ,most marriages start out as romantic but end up as you described ,especially if you stop working on it.So I think you need to explore the possibility's within before you leave .try being romantic ,start some fun you make the first move and see what happens ,because you do need to have more than you have now .If after a big and long effort ,things ha vent improved then it would be time to leave with a clear conscience and a clear understanding of what you want.If you keep looking for the one love you may find you had it already and threw it away
2006-09-20 03:27:25 · answer #3 · answered by stephanie n 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well gurl i'm in the same boat with my husband, we've been together for 2 1/2yrs & married for 6 months...everything started to change after 6 months into the relationship, his work is his top priority and i come in second.
By this time i was ok wit it but then it started to affect me and we fought alot & then it happen i started to push him away & in the end found myself looking for it in other places.
we are in different countries because of that & that i couldn't be there around him, i didn't want him to have anyting to do wit me.
It's hard in this situation & i cud say i kno the feeling but i'm far gone from him right now & i'm taking the time to see if i cud salvage my marriage.
But it is a difficult process & only you have to make the decision
because it's hard to forget & i'm not doing so good with the decision making right now so I wish you the best of luck & hope that you guys cud make it through.
If you don't feel you love him anymore though then you have to end the marriage & move on with your life & don't be affraid it's your life & future you're looking at.
2006-09-20 03:19:44 · answer #4 · answered by â??â?¢â?¬â??? 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My opinion is that you feel bad because you lost your baby and your spouse is not with you to mourn. You are lonely and a part of you blames him for everything.
I have been married for a while and over the years I have learnt that unless one works at keeping the marriage happy, couples drift apart. we have always tried to do kind things for each other and we look and feel happy most times. We talk about our true feelings and this has been our medicine. Marriage is work and the returns are worth it.
You are lucky to have that kid of man you feel secure with.
2006-09-20 03:22:23 · answer #5 · answered by tomnjerry 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When a married couple stay together long enough, they normally become close like sibling. But you are only 23 years old, and you only married for 2 years! Don't live your life with regret, you know what I meant.
2006-09-20 03:32:50 · answer #6 · answered by Tan D 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This could be because you lost your baby, maybe talking to someone about this will help. You maybe grieving and you not wanting him to touch you might be a sign. Talk to your husband, he to is probably sad....Sorry for you loss, i feel your pain this happened to me with my first husband, i left him and it took 20 years before i married again, but im with the person i was meant to be with and that im happy about....
2006-09-20 03:17:08 · answer #7 · answered by ABBYsMom 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your issues with your husband is beyond any help anyone can give here. I suggest u consult with a marriage counselor for yourself.
2006-09-20 03:23:53 · answer #8 · answered by cheetah7 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think if you feel that way it is only fair to him and to yourself to walk away. Maybe a therapist could be of some help.
2006-09-20 03:08:54 · answer #9 · answered by justhanginout 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sound like you are still hurting from the lost of your baby. You should get couseling
2006-09-20 09:48:22 · answer #10 · answered by sassy lady 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋