There is no CODa close to our town!
2006-09-19 19:49:40 · 9 answers · asked by marine_one1996 1 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
She beleves she can change people, who really do not want to change and is affraid to hurt their feelings by being honest and saying no to them! I just want to help see it is ok to tell some people no! And to except the fact they may not want to talk to her because of it!
2006-09-19 19:57:38 · update #1
Thats funny. Help someone who is codependant. Thats how it started, man.
2006-09-19 19:54:40 · answer #1 · answered by cyphercube 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should ask yourself if there's a chance you're over-analyzing/over-diagnosing her....
Of course, there's nothing wrong with reminding her that she can't change people. When it comes to saying, "no", though; sometimes people (especially women) choose not to say "no" because they may have decided it doesn't matter that much to them, and since say "no" may bring about other and more complicated problems they may reason out that it isn't worth it. While there may be people who "are afraid" to say "no", there are far more who want to pick their battles and want those battles to be over stuff they feel is worth fighting over. Many people just don't see doing some things as such a big deal that saying "no" is all that important.
Make sure you don't underestimate your wife. There is the chance she has decided for herself that while she may not be "afraid" of the consequences she may just feel like she isn't going to get into a thing over a minor issue because she prefers not to. There is a difference between "being afraid" and "preferring not to" for whatever her reasons may be.
Not long ago on the George Lopez show the son on the show was doing all kinds of stuff for a pretty young girl. He was doing her laundry, etc. His father said, "She's using you." The kids very emphatically announced, "I don't care." Very often people who appear not to be "able" to say no just may not care. Women, more than men, tend to have a "life is short" attitude or an "I'm above this pettiness" attitude; so what likes like giant weakness to a man may just be not caring about such an unimportant thing (in the grand scheme of things) to a woman.
I'm not a big fan of husbands who "diagnose" their wives (particularly if they don't happen to have a degree in psychiatry). If your wife needs help she'll ask someone for it - maybe you, maybe a counselor. If she doesn't ask don't assume she wants your help.
I'm not saying what I've said has to apply to you. I'm just saying I hope you consider the possibllity that it may.
2006-09-20 04:08:16 · answer #2 · answered by WhiteLilac1 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The word "no" is not a dirty word. Hitch up your pants and say it whenever you think you should. Worried about hurting her feelings? What about how her interloping makes others feel? When you have a problem solve it or deal with it.
2006-09-20 03:11:32 · answer #3 · answered by dudezoid 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Call Dr. Phill
2006-09-20 03:09:44 · answer #4 · answered by colarstar77 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can help by letting her learn from her own mistakes.She must learn to make her own decisions, right or wrong
2006-09-20 04:17:45 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Communicate with her first, don't make her think you are belittling her. Build up her confidence. Let her become sure of herself, involve her in decicsions.
2006-09-20 02:57:43 · answer #6 · answered by Smoky 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
help her by letting her make decisions
2006-09-20 02:52:35 · answer #7 · answered by BeachBum 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Somehow your phrasing makes it sound as if *you* have the problem! (g)
2006-09-20 04:17:25 · answer #8 · answered by coorissee 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
give her independence
2006-09-20 02:57:55 · answer #9 · answered by jason 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋