i'm with the love of my life, he treats me better than anyone i have been with... he compliments me on hoe "beautiful" i am and tells me such things every day, he loves to cuddle...i can actually trust him in every way, i wouldn't have to worry about him running off with someone else...sounds like the perfect catch yes?....well i have a big problem, yes i know nobody is perfect, but ever since i moved in with him i noticed he is still a kid in alot of ways, i am only a few months younger than he is but i have done alot more things and been thruogh alot more hell than he has, so i have matured alot faster than he has in life...i feel like i am raising a child, i have to constantly ask him to help out, and then he says he will do things but never do, he also has a short fuse when he is being asked to do things...simple crap that shouldn't even need and pushing to do like take care of food when he is done with it instead of leaving it out to rot, take a shower more often than twice a week
2006-09-19 19:46:35 · 20 answers · asked by Sydney 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
( he works so he comes home all smellified)...in short my bf is a pig..not to be mean but..yeah
also, he spends his money on things he wants instead of things he needs, it is hard to get a job that will pay more than minimum wage unless you get a GED or diploma and that costs a few hundred bucks...so instead of saving money up to better himself...he goes and blows it on renting movies and videogames and spending it on going out to eat and other stuff and then asks to borrow money from me!
also he is on the heavy side of things, now get this...he weighs himself on scale and then complains about how big he is...then he eats like 3 plates full of sphagetti and like alot of doughnuts!.....i just don't know what to do anymore, i love him dearly and haven't threatened to leave yet...but i'm thinkin about it, i want a family, and want to get married but it doesn't help when your sig other wont grow up!...am i wrong for being upset?...
2006-09-19 19:47:17 · update #1
as for school, been there and done that, he is 21 and i am about to turn 21 in about 2 weeks.....and i took a stepp backward just to be with him, this started off as a long distance thing, we were 2 states apart and i had my own apartment, he still lives with his mom and dad, so i moved in with him AND his mom and dad.....i think i should weigh the pros and cons, but first have a chat and hopefully he wont get all whiny and grumpy about it...ty guys
2006-09-19 20:16:58 · update #2
No, he needs to grow up.
2006-09-19 19:49:36 · answer #1 · answered by I &hearts Yahoo 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Yes he's become your little baby boy child. Everything you've said so far points to that. The temper tantrums, procrastination, dead end diet, poor hygiene. You have no life here with him and mom and dad. This ain't going to work. You do know this don't you?
Don't be too upset if you leave him. He will act out as usual and then get over it. His real mommy and daddy will pick up the pieces. I suspect they always have.
You need to get out of this though. Your resentment is starting to boil over inside you. You've sold yourself short long enough. If your only 21 he is not "the love of your life" by any means. Sounds like the perfect catch yes? Well, NO it doesn't!
This is turning rotten like the food he leaves out.
So cut the umbilical cord. Chalk it up to a mistake on your part and do some moving on for yourself.
2006-09-20 05:51:05 · answer #2 · answered by quantumview 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are not wrong for being angry. Clearly he loves you, but in this material world, love is not everything as touted by books and movies and stuff. If you want to start a family, responsibility is a must, and from your descriptions, he is sadly lacking in that department.
Teaching another person to be responsible is very hard, add to the fact that he has a short fuse. I can relate to him; we have similar attributes - but I do not laze around and let grass grow under my feet. Your boyfriend might have found that you are his comfort zone where he can simply lie down and leave everything to you.
You can begin that this is not the way you want things to be, that he should at least try to help you do the dishes for starters. If he really loves you, he would realise that that alone is like a 'take it or leave it' kind of choice. He would endeavour to try (at least) to help you if he has any kind of sense in him.
Personally, I think you should dump him. He's clearly taking advantage of your leniency and showers you with words to cover it up. Words are meaningful, but words with inaction sucks big time.
2006-09-20 03:24:07 · answer #3 · answered by jarod_jared 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey, sorry about that. How old are both of you? Sometimes guys will always just be kids. Maybe just accept him for who he is. About college, why dont you take the lead and go to college. If you appreciate him and not push him or tell him what to do, he will grow up on his own - he is an adult. If you keep telling him what to do, you will sound like his mother and he will continue acting like he child. Just accept him the way he is and he will change if he loves you. This will require alot of your will but it will be worth it.
Also try reading books on relationships or seek counselling to prepare you for marriage, a goal that you have in mind.
Good Luck and God Bless you.
2006-09-20 03:05:48 · answer #4 · answered by tomnjerry 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are right no one is perfect. but in a relationship you take the bad with the ugly and the good. now weigh out the pros and cons what do you want to deal with and what do you want to work with. what makes you happy is it enough to stay with him or would you rather a man with everything the opposite of what he does, no i am not saying that you have to settle for anything, but you said it you will find flaws in everyone. i am sure he finds some in you. no one is perfect. so your decision will be on what do you want to be with a yr from now or 10. with all the good is this enough to stay. with the bad will i run away. am i too picky or is there just that right person out there for me. is this the one or my God didn't you have something else for me. well that you will never know. yes you have a problem, but it can be easily rectified by your sorting out what you want. you can not change him not now that has got to be his decision. you can only voice your opinions and concerns to him what nags you and not to say you give him an ultimatum, but that you would choose not to deal with certain things, and understand that you are really trying to make him a perfect person which God hasn't even done
2006-09-20 03:00:07 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you should be very upset, and disappointed with yourself for calling him the love of your life, but yet your miserable. First of all you can't raised a grown man, Second of all you shouldn't be with know man that u couldn't trust.........and, Third of all every man should compliment the woman they are with, you shouldn't settle for less being a woman. Now if he's truly the love of your life than you should had known that you were working with a slob, you should had seem immaturity in him wayyyyyyy before you moved in his home, and age is just a number ,its whats up-stairs that counts. So, if you consider yourself to be a mature woman ask yourself why are laying down next to a man that doesn't want to keep his body clean ? 'that is nasty', If this man has a short temper , trust me it will get worst. He's not your husband you have no obligation to this man......and if he's truly the love of your life ask yourself why?????????????????
2006-09-20 03:05:03 · answer #6 · answered by DEBORAH M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Boo Hoo... No one can be superman. Like my wife said get over it or you don't disreve him. You shouldn't cry to a buntch of strangers about it. You should get off your butt and go talk to him. When my wife wants me to do something I do it, She love's me (unlike you who claim to love this man) and can handle my flows. If it takes me a bit she let me know how she feels. We talk to each other, we have a deal on who do what choure and when. If I dont do my shure, I dont get any loven until it is done. I also get a ear full.
You know what your problem really is?
You're looking to make this guy into someone you've see on TV. Mr. wooundful. Who perfect in every way
You're the one who needs to grow up and see that isn't going to happen.
You got problems talk to him. When you want something done tell him and holding out on sex does work! You have to let him grow up when he's ready. Otherwise your not good for him and you dont really love him. No one should be pushed into being something there not. You do that and he will end up being bitter.
Make a chores list for him, tell him to shower or he can sleep on the sofa. Put your foot down about those's things, but don't tell him he can't be himself and act like a kid sometimes.
2006-09-20 03:20:32 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, you aren't wrong.
If you really love him and think he may be "the one" then pursue counseling, he may have deeper issues that prevent him from acting like an adult.
If he refuses to go to counseling, or you are unsure if he is right for you, then tell him you want to take break because you are at different stages in your life. If he's not willing to change, you're better off looking for someone who wants an adult relationship.
2006-09-20 02:50:48 · answer #8 · answered by legallyblond2day 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You may have to speak with another male ..... ask this male to speak with your boyfriend. Speak to a male who thinks you deserve to be respected by your boyfriend being more respectful of himself.
All you are asking is for you man to be more respectful of himself.
Don't want your man to help you... you are fullly capable of doing it all yourself.... but you want a man that you can make love to (have great sex) with but if he doesn't value you romance you then there will be a man out there who will.
A womans love is special if he wants it from you to just be lazy he should go back home to mum.
You want to love someone that wants to build create have a beautiful wonderful life to gether with..... not someone who doesn't care about what they look like or how they intergrate into a couple or a family unit.
woman be in control of your life and world.... Tell him to be aware of himself because what he doesn't do has an effect on other people....... .
2006-09-20 03:06:22 · answer #9 · answered by lourdess777 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hmmm, sounds like you might not be as "in love" as you thought. This is the point in the relationship where you need to set boundaries on what you can and cannot deal with. Dont type this on a screen too strangers. Tell him that these are things that make you unhappy about your relationship and if they dont change then youll have to move on. Dont waste your life, Its way too short.
2006-09-20 02:50:41 · answer #10 · answered by bsd300d 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, but he sounds like a typical man. You have to be tough! If you let him get away with it, it'll never change. Alot of men are like this! Men are more than just a few months behind women in the maturity stakes too.
2006-09-20 02:49:29 · answer #11 · answered by claire 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋