My husband has a bad temper, in the last wo years he has thrown things acroos the room, punched the steering wheel in his car, thrown his wedding ringat me, hit in a bag of potato chips and dumped it all over my living room floor, raised his voice, cursed at me, told me to shut up (he's in the Marine Corp)...and he has said he only does this with me, not anyone else. He says he never acts like this with anyone else, I make him act like this...but the other day he was talking with the Wells Fargo people about the car payment got upset with the lady (because she would not let him talk) and he told her to shut up and hung up on her. This is the first time I had seen him do this to others besides myself.....he was blaming he for his behavior, but is the problem just him?
2006-09-19 19:39:23 · 12 answers · asked by ilih2006 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Yes, the problem is him. He has anger management issues and if he doesn't do anything about it, he could end up being physically abusive as well. It seems like he has a thing about women telling him what to do and contrary to what he said, nobody can make him act that way. He took it upon himself to be an a** and therefore he is solely responsible for his own actions.
2006-09-19 19:44:27 · answer #1 · answered by cheetah7 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
1. Get away from this man. He's dangerous. The two of you are not well suited.
2. A healthy mentally balanced man does not act like that. He needs help. Since he's never wrong, and it's all your fault, you can't make any constructive suggestions that he get therapy.
3. Seriously. I am worried for you. You must leave now. Do not tell him under any circumstances your intention to leave — he may kill you. Get yourself organized and figure out an escape plan and then follow through. Contact family, friends, and other males in your life for protection and support. Get yourself a good divorce lawyer and let a third party serve the papers to him. It's not safe for you.
4. There's a reason why many men enlist — it gives them a legal reason to kill and hurt people.
Good luck and warm regards, but take action.
2006-09-20 03:42:38 · answer #2 · answered by mitch 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The problem is MOSTLY him, and unfortunately is common among military personnel. What you are describing is a man with a serious anger problem, and is abusive. Please seriously consider leaving him. It's not good for your emotional well-being, maybe even your physical safety, to keep dealing with this, even if you think you are strong. My ex wasn't even as bad as yours, and by the time I left him I was nearly suicidal from this way of life.
People who are very angry can learn other ways to handle it besides what you are describing. (My teen age son and I did so.) They also often are actually angry deep down at something entirely other, and either don't know it or haven't worked it through (e.g., not the car payment itself, but childhood pain, work problems, drugs, etc.) Were his parents like this? That can also be part of it -- having grown up with bad examples of how to deal with your anger, as being all they know to do when upset.
2006-09-20 02:47:35 · answer #3 · answered by catintrepid 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why is he so angry my Husbands also a Us Marine and he doens t behave like this has he been to the middle east if so maybe hes stressing or hes depressed they see some pretty rough things while in the war zone and alot of them are returning and they arent the same person that left to go serve their county alot of them suffer from depression and other mental illnesses such as post traumatic stress disorder.
2006-09-20 03:57:29 · answer #4 · answered by CaliMa 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He needs professional help. His anger is only a symptom of a deeper issue that may or may not have anyhting to do with you. I'll bet his basic issue is rooted in something that occured in his childhood. Suggest counseling and wisely move him toward making that commitment. Until the root cause of his anger is identified and resloved it will fester into somehting bigger than what you are dealing with now.
2006-09-20 02:48:04 · answer #5 · answered by JT 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whoa, dude sounds like he has some anger issues!
but it's his problem, not yours. Sure, you can piss him off once and a while, but for him to blame you for his behavior is silly. Tell him to take responsibility for his emotions and actions - just do it when he's not angry!
Good Luck!
Aloha!
2006-09-20 02:45:04 · answer #6 · answered by gabriel_demus 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it's him. He is responsible for his behavior, not you, and not the poor girl on the phone. You can't "make" him do anything; he does it all himself. He needs to learn to control his temper before it gets him into trouble, and before he starts hitting you.
2006-09-20 02:44:39 · answer #7 · answered by Bethany 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Keep a well documented diary...WELL HIDDEN too..with dates and turn the other cheek until you can leave safely...a diary that is obvious to a judge in court that is legitimate will be looked at and will be good evidence if he tries lying in divorce court....I'd divorce...and look up WTCS on-line...good luck
2006-09-20 02:46:27 · answer #8 · answered by Country 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it sound like he's suppressed, and by acting out at you, is kind of away of him reaching out in a shallow way??,
you said that he doesn't do this with anyone easel, so that sound like someone having to wear that "i'm not hearting inside mask" in the public????, i would really sit him down and confront him of this "from the bottem of your heart!!", and seek help for him and you'll need to support him allthe way!!!
2006-09-20 02:51:56 · answer #9 · answered by esyplumbing 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thats just the way he expresses hiis feelings of anger or fustration. As long as hes not violent to you or anyone else and that somthing you can deal with, I wouldnt worry too much about it.
2006-09-20 02:42:18 · answer #10 · answered by bsd300d 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋