I have been with the same man for 5yrs and i love him alot but when we have sex it doesn't feel good and i am not satified. I don't want to hurt his feelings and i don't want to cheat. But i rather lay next to him and hug kiss and feel but no sex but he is a scorpio and he has a high sex drive, I don't like laying there wishing he would hurry up! Is it me? or is it just the sex
2006-09-19 19:19:11 · 13 answers · asked by mylipshot 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
is he the only guy you've ever been with? and if not, have other guys pleased you? if he is the only guy or if other guys have pleased you, please skip the next paragraph.
***if you have had more than one boyfriend and have never been pleased, i have a suggestion (please don't get offended)- get a girlfriend. not to offend you or anything, but it's worth a try- from what you've said about your sexual likes and dislikes, it sounds like that might be more your speed. (btw, i'm straight- so i have no ulterior motives!)***
if he's been your only guy, try a few more guys and if that doesn't make you happy, refer to the previous paragraph. if it does make you happy, don't feel guilty about cheating- feel guilty for not having a good orgasm in 5 years b/c (a) you could not tell him what you wanted or (b) you told him but you might as well have been talking to yourself.
if it's (a), then there's still hope for you two. start telling him what you want now. don't tell him that he sucks or has never been good. just make suggestions- while whispering sexily in his ear. and let yourself make the noises you want to make when you love something he does. if it's (b), then you need to either buy a really good vibrator or dump him.
2006-09-19 19:33:02 · answer #1 · answered by miss advice 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, if you have been together for five years and you are not married, then I would wonder why he has not asked you to make things for real. I would try talking to him outside of the bedroom... maybe get a few of those technique books, positions, etc. I don't know how adventerous you are but as a guy it would really turn me on if someone talked to me about fantasies and then about working them out one by one. If he has a sex drive and you have given him the impression that he has been rocking your world for the past five years, then you have helped to create this situation... so help him to get better. You have to learn how to be good in bed- so teach. If the two of you have a wild side then go online and check out the liberator... now that would spur on some changes! Good Luck!
2006-09-20 03:03:26 · answer #2 · answered by No More 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, i would say its you! because , if he didn't want your loving he wouldn't be having sex with you , so he's satisfy. You have been with the same man for 5 years, and now the sex isn't good ???? Girl, you need to communicate with your man, if your contemplating being with another man just because your man of 5 years doesn't satisfy you.......than its about more than the sex. If you are suffering that bad in the bed...but u lovvvvv him, you need to open your mouth and say something. Make your 5 years relationship mean something, why would you want to demean yourself to sleep with another man, when your saying you still love the man that doesn't satisfy you.........girlllllllll open your mouth and tell your MAN HOW U FEEEEEELLLLL.!!! Good luck......u can do it...
2006-09-20 02:30:57 · answer #3 · answered by DEBORAH M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its not just you. It takes two to enjoy sex. You have to tell him what you want, what makes you feel good. Try new things...switch top/bottom (I mean that in the way of, you be the aggressor and you take control) switch things around. There are toys. Sensual books.
Spontaneity never hurt.
http://www.sexuality.org
is a good site....check it out......it may help.... sex is a hell of a lot more than an act we do it goes much deeper (no pun intended)
2006-09-20 02:33:47 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I think you should talk to him and try other thigns that might make you feel better. If you have been together for 5yrs than it shouldn't be a problem for you to be honest with him. Maybe it's you maybe it's him but if you don't talk about it he wouldn't know something is bothering you and you guys will never find out.
Good luck!
2006-09-20 02:23:18 · answer #5 · answered by anesziere 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to him about it. Sex is a very touchy issue especially if you tell him you dont enjoy it with him. He will be very defensive infact he might even blame you for it. But try and make him understand that if this is gotta work this is how you should take me? Try and experiment a bit if that dosent work make a choice love or sex best of luck
2006-09-20 02:38:02 · answer #6 · answered by amit m 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you two have been together for 5 years, you should be able to talk to him about your feelings. If he loves you he'll understand just use a careful tactic because a males ego can be hurt easily. Maybe tell him you want to try new things and he should be willing.
2006-09-20 02:46:31 · answer #7 · answered by caramel_sundae1077 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know what you're saying! I've had to reach down there and satisfy myself while he's doing it so I'll get mine! It took a while before I decided to stop worrying about making him aware of how bad he was, since he didn't seem to care if I finished! He was so excited watching himself pound me while I touched myself he'd finish faster! Needless to say, I left him and got my own pocket sized man!
2006-09-20 02:32:43 · answer #8 · answered by Candy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to talk, honey. Yes, it might be just you, but probably it's apathy on his part. It is easy to settle into a routine and forget about that spark that makes a relationship special. You don't need to be blunt or hurtful, but you need to communicate how you feel as it is as much your relationship as it is his.
2006-09-20 02:21:55 · answer #9 · answered by waggy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Help him out. Tell him what you do and don't like. Don't put him down. Maybe it is just you. Sex can be different with different people. He might be great with someone else.
2006-09-20 02:22:44 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋