How will you deal with this if the kid is your son? Some kids extort money from him and threaten to beat him if he refuses. What are the psychological impacts to the kid?
2006-09-19 18:32:05 · 11 answers · asked by Jasmine Ird 2 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
He has no father figure to get his advice from?
2006-09-19 18:57:52 · update #1
I'm 21 years old, So my answer isn't coming from the 1950's. I'm a 6'5" 230 pound athlete with less than 10% body fat, and when i was in grade school i was always the biggest and the strongest, yet i got bullied everyday by kids much smaller than me, because i didn't have a mean bone in my body, and i still don't. I used to come home crying.
My dad told me to fight back, And i did. Needless to say i got suspended, but i maintained dignity. And from that point on i never let myself get bullied again.
What I'm saying is, In male culture you need to fight sometimes, and once you fight win or loose its over and you gain respect and the bullying ends. This is not how a tree hugging parent would teach, but your not dealing with tree hugging kids. If you go in there and tell the school it will only make things worse, it did for me. the bullies got a slap on the wrist, and i got made fun of more for having my mom stick up for me.
But mainly when it comes to bullying i would let the child's father talk to him about it, or a male figure he looks up to.
"Sticks and stones will break your bones, but sometimes words are worth fighting over"
P.S. I HATE fighting, but sometimes its necessary.
P.P.S. Look two men have answered your question so far and both say to stand up for yourself, women don't understand this.
2006-09-19 18:51:49 · answer #1 · answered by twinspick22 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
TERRIBLE!!! Do not tolerate this!!! The school needs to address this!! I wouldn't take no for an answer. School is supposed to be a "safe" place and with today’s knowledge of bullies in the schools.. the schools should not be tolerating this.
The long-term impacts are bad... no one should be treated this way.
If the school doesn't do something then I would call the police and the child protective services... plus the bully is probably in an abusive situation and needs help.
I would not take it.. it's your job as a parent to protect your child. If that means he doesn't go to school until this is resolved ... then so be it!!!
My son was getting picked on the school bus and the school has a no tolerance for bullying and had my son point out the kid in a series of pictures they had... that kid never rode the bus again!!!
Talk to the school counselor too!!
Good luck and don't back down!! I'm with you!!!
2006-09-19 18:37:57 · answer #2 · answered by Jennifer M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I knew this student in high school who was in the same place you are in, only it was a group of boys and no girls were involved. On his way home from school one day they ganged up on him and pushed him to the ground, spit, and kicked him. He get to his feet and tried to fight, but it did little good. The next day he told the VP at his school, who called the boy's father, the father said it could not be his son because his son was in a different town at the time of the beating. The poor kid didn't have a dad to stick up for him and wished he had a dad who would lie for him and give him alibis. Later that year he and I took matters into our own hands and took a ball bat to some of the bullies. He was put into youth authority lockup for school violence. And I was suspended. Even years afterwords he relives those High school days and thinks about what he would have done to the bullies if he had of had the chance. Don't let it go that far, get help now and don't end up letting it rune your life. Sometimes telling adults does no good at all, so you have to find other ways of dealing with it. We were wrong. You find a right way.
2016-03-26 21:05:04 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a univerisal problem. Eventually he will need to stand on his own two feet and deal with bullies by himself. I had a problem like this at one time and at first mom and dad went through the school and tried to get the problem taken care of. Finally I had enough and got into a fight. I didn't win/lose the fight, but I stood my ground. After that I didn't have anymore problems with being bullied as they knew I wouldn't take their crap anymore. My parents understood why I did what I did and I was 'grounded' while I was out of school. My dad then took me for a drive and asked what happened during the fight and told me I did the right thing in protecting myself and that even though I was being punished, I did what I had to do and he understood.
2006-09-20 01:14:25 · answer #4 · answered by Charles B 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to the school. The school is under legal obligation to provide your child a safe environment, the moment your child enters the premises of the school custodianship has just been transferred and he becomes their responsibility. In the mean time try talking to the parents, and explaining the situation. If the situation doesn't change, get some kind of hidden camera device like spy glasses or a voice recorder and plant it on your child, once you have enough evidence, get ready to take legal action against both the parents and the school.
2006-09-19 18:43:36 · answer #5 · answered by instanceof Dude 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My son was going through this and we tried the normal route with the teachers and then the principal and councelor. But they really weren't able to do anything.
Then I tought my son how to defend himself. I told him to never start a fight, but never run from one either.
He popped the kid right in the face one time and that was all it took. The kid didn't bother him again.
Not because he the kid got hit in the face, but because the kid new that he would have real retaliation to deal with and it wouldn't be fun any more...
Teach your kid to defend himself, or send him to karate school.
But DON'T let him be afraid to stand up to the bad guy or he always will be afraid...
:o)
Jerry
2006-09-19 19:30:33 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
SING.
Solar Plexus.
Instep.
Nose.
Groin.
If a lone bully corners your kid, he has to punch that guy in the nose with everything he's got (look to be handing over money with left hand, punch with right). Then punch him in the stomach (one-two-three), and stomp on his feet.
Your kid is going to get a beating for this, but it might be worth it. Been there, done that.
2006-09-20 09:33:19 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I growed up be picked for a while. I stopped it when I started taking up for myself. He needs to pick the biggest one of the bunch and attempt with everything he has got to kick their ***. That will show them he is not scared, and not going to put up with it, the rest of the kids will not want to fool with him since he started with the biggest first. This is the real world, I don't advocate fighting, but sometimes you have to do it. He will gain respect and they will find someone else to pick on. I'd rather my child stand up for himself and get a bruise or two than be humiliated every day, and lose his self respect.
2006-09-20 01:46:07 · answer #8 · answered by dancinintherain 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to tell your son to fight the other kid. he might get beat up but the bully will most likely stop picking on him because he knows if he does there will be a fight.
2006-09-19 18:40:06 · answer #9 · answered by camden 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, the kid's got to stand up for himself. If he doesn't he'll be messed up for the rest of his life. Try to get him in martial arts or someting.
2006-09-19 18:43:09 · answer #10 · answered by Fish Boy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋