ok well i think i may pregnant with my second child ..and my husband has a bit of a drinkin problem he used to beat me our first yr. together ..while i was pregnant i thought that would never change but thankfully it did..but he still has that alcohol problem we've had so many ruff times that he agreed to only drink on the weekends but when he does its excesevly how do i get to were he drinks only on special occasions or drinks enough to get a buzz but not drunk?? i need helpful tips..or somethings i love him but i dont think im gonna be able to take any more drunk mood swings..
2006-09-19 16:42:51 · 11 answers · asked by nahdya21 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Honey, he's an alcoholic and needs some help with this. There are some underlying problems that have him drinking so much and he needs to deal with those. It's very possible to have an occasional drink now and then, but getting bombed every weekend? I'd start asking why he drinks in the first place. This isn't a good environment for your children honey and you need to do what is best for them. I know you think you love this man, but you love the man that you want him to be...not the man he really is most of the time. It's time for you to do some serious soul searching honey. We can't give you the answers you are seeking...they have to come from you. This is your life, your situation and only you are going to know what is best for your family. I sincerely hope God provides you with enough strength to do whatever it is you need to do.
2006-09-19 16:50:13 · answer #1 · answered by Hollynfaith 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Then don't. It's that simple. Your husband is likely an alcoholic and should seek out some counseling or attend an AA meeting. If he makes your life miserable and is abusive either verbally or physically maybe you should consider taking your children and moving out until he decides whats more important. You and the kids or a few drinks on the weekends. Maybe you should make a decision too. Either he stops or you and the kids are outta there.
If you want to better understand what your going through, then maybe you should attend an Al-Anon meeting yourself. Check it out at least and see if its something that you would be interested in doing for yourself. Let your husband deal with his own issues and you deal with yours and the children's.
Best of luck,
J
2006-09-19 23:52:28 · answer #2 · answered by frankly2u 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For starters, please call a domestic abuse helpline. If he's stopped beating you, chances are he's still abusing you psychologically and emotionally, if not financially as well by spending excessively on alcohol. It'll be very hard for your situation to change unless he takes stock of it and decides sincerely to turn things around. But until he does, you are in danger - remember you're also responsible for your child here. Speak to a trained professional on a helpline or to a counsellor. They can assess exactly what your situation is and how to help you. As for your husband, he really should stop drinking, not just decrease it because he has shown he cannot act in moderation. From my personal experience, men get away with behaviour like this because women let them. Take charge of your life and your safety, independent of him. Good luck, I do wish you the best.
2006-09-19 23:56:38 · answer #3 · answered by noodlemcgoo 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he has family and friends that care about him, talk to them about an intervention. Alcoholism is an illness and he needs help. With family support it could be easier. If it is not possible to approach him by means of an intervention you will have to take a tough love stand. An alcoholic can not drink just a little. He has to quit totally. You have to think of the children. They are your first priority. You can not keep them safely in a home with an alcoholic. You know this! There is help for you out there. Please don't hesitate to contact your local AA and other family support agency's in your area for help. If you love him keep those children safe from his illness.
2006-09-19 23:59:03 · answer #4 · answered by JAN 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, if you continue in this abusive relationship, you are only doing damage to your self and your children, including the unborn one if you are pregnant. If he drinks and begins to get into a foul mood, you need to get to a safe place before the mood escalates into violence that can hurt you and your child.
Before this happens, you should call a women's shelter and have one of the womens advocates help you to put together a plan for you in case you have to leave in a hurry, to somewhere safe.
Good luck to you!
2006-09-19 23:51:01 · answer #5 · answered by brendalyn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Here is the TRUTH,You can not change anyone but yourself. Your Husband is still an alcoholic! He just changed the dates he get drunk. He will have to want to change. You can not make him. As I see it you have 2 choices. You just keep on taking it.Or you can get a divorce. I would say you're better off(and so are your children) with out him. SORRY.
2006-09-19 23:50:31 · answer #6 · answered by whataboutme 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Try calling A A.
2006-09-19 23:47:49 · answer #7 · answered by master_der_man 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he's an alcoholic. he needs to quit not just drink certain times. do u want to teach your kids to be alcholics? he needs help now.
2006-09-19 23:47:00 · answer #8 · answered by psychpath64 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is a drunk get rid of him, no one should go thru that
2006-09-19 23:46:00 · answer #9 · answered by Big D 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think he needs some help, if he doesn't change, then it would probably be a good idea to leave him, for the sake of your children, and you.
2006-09-20 00:01:13 · answer #10 · answered by darkfairiy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋