I found out about a month ago that my husband was cheating. He claims it was nothing more than phone calls, but to me that is still cheating. We have 3 children that I love more than anything in this world, and he's the perfect dad. I'm just not ready for them to have to deal with us seperating. I do love him and he seems to be trying really hard to gain my trust again, but it's so hard. I was completely shocked when I found out and don't know how I can ever trust him again. I love my children so much and I don't want them to be hurt. So I'm willing to put my own feelings aside, but I also don't want to feel miserable for the rest of my life. We had been going through a really hard time, he lost his job, started his own business, and we fought a lot...... I guess this is when another woman came in and gave him attention that he didn't get from me. If anyone could give me some advise it would really be a big help to me. Thanks
2006-09-19 15:55:33 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
That is a tough one. Only time can tell you. Your heart will tell you. Apparently you two are in a rut, otherwise he wouldn't have looked for friendship elsewhere. Communication is the key. Having a 'date' once in a while will help. Get a sitter for the kids and go out and let loose. Will feel awkward at first 'cause it's been so long, but give it time.
Again, you two need to talk to each other....not argue, but talk.
2006-09-19 15:59:46 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take it from someone with personal experience; it's hard to know what to do. If you love him enough and think you can learn to trust him again, and he is truly sorry, then it is worth a try. Maybe live apart for a while until you can sort through your own feelings and figure out what is best for you and most importantly for the children. A happy, peaceful home with shared custody is better for them than a home they know isn't. They know when your not happy and don't trust each other. They can tell...A happy mom alone is better than a miserable mom who is afraid.
2006-09-19 16:10:52 · answer #2 · answered by Brandy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes you can have a good relationship again. But it will take work and healing time. If your husband is truly remorseful and wants forgivness, then when you are ready, forgive him and never speak of it again.
But it can't just be about your children, it has to be about you and your husband. It would be better for the children for you to divorce than for them to grow up in a broken home. You have to be as commited to loving your husband now as you were on your wedding day.
Also, make sure that you spend regular time on your relationship. Getting too busy is usually the first step to bad things happening.
I hope this helps. Good friend of ours almost split up because of an affair but they pulled through and have never been happier.
2006-09-19 16:05:22 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you can have a good relationship again -- and it will greatly increase your chances if you go together to get "couples" counseling. As a Christian, I believe that a Christian counselor is able to address the issues most completely (since they can address your spiritual selves.) Most pastors are free, but that doesn't mean they aren't any good. The icing on the cake is accountability within a good support group of peers -- such as cab be found in a church. Get involved. I really believe that.
2006-09-19 16:00:32 · answer #4 · answered by pilgrimchd 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Staying in a marriage for the kids is never a good thing to do. Children are smarter than we give them credit for, they can tell if you are unhappy. Would you want any of your children to stay in an unhappy marriage? You need to do what is going to be best for your happiness.
2006-09-19 15:59:43 · answer #5 · answered by ♥dream_angel♥ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thats up to you if you want to forgive him.But if hes trying hard to gain your trust back give him another chance.you need to leave the past behind or your going to make your self miserable.I know that image in your mind will hurt you if you keep thinking about it.Only you know the best choce to make for your self.you know your man the best, if he keeps risking on losing his famaly thats his falt.Trust is a big thing in a relationship.Just learn how to acept it and move on. good luck
2006-09-19 16:17:57 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i'm specific your husband would not believe you and he in no way will. the factor is does he could desire to? Your dating is extra out of desperation that truly affection as you your self stated which you have been the two lonely and thanks to this to procure at the same time. SO enable it proceed like this simply by fact it extremely is in no way going to be a similar back. do no longer attempt too perplexing and make the main out of it
2016-10-17 07:36:35 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
we are both sure it was more than phone calls. Yes, you can have a good relationship, but it will be almost impossible to trust his fidelity again
2006-09-19 15:59:52 · answer #8 · answered by Cf Precious 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its possible but alot of hard work and both have to be willing to do it with no guarantees. Maybe its better to move on? Either way you decide, good luck to you
2006-09-19 15:58:18 · answer #9 · answered by Michelle : 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take control of your life. DO it now before you waste years and your kids see how unhappy you are.
2006-09-19 15:57:32 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋