I am 33 and no kids. People pressure me. Why? Is it wierd not to have the desire to have children with my husband? Why do some feel we should not be married if we aren't going to have a family? Is there anybody else out there in my shoes? I feel like the only one on the planet!
2006-09-19 15:43:12 · 11 answers · asked by Mrs. T 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
i know how you feel. I was in your shoes - i had my baby when I was 35! don't mind what other people say. just go on with you life and show them that you are happy & contented with your married life even without a baby.
2006-09-19 16:01:20 · answer #1 · answered by lette 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I must admit that it is a bit rare to find someone who doesn't want to have children with their spouse, but maybe there is a good reason for it. There are so many children born into the world that aren't wanted or that are born to abusive families that it makes one think twice about bringing one into the world of our own. I wouldn't necessarily say that you shouldn't be married as much as maybe you should consider other alternatives. You might consider adopting a child. But, should the problem lye in the fact that you just don't want any children around then, maybe you should consider what would be best for your husband. A family unity is very important and part of what makes us human. Don't be selfish to the point of hurting him. You don't want him to end up hating you for not giving him something he may want in his life.
2006-09-19 22:58:37 · answer #2 · answered by Ittsybittsykitty69 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know how you feel. I'm not married, but my family always questions why. I imagine when I actually do get married, then they'll pressure me for the kids. I guess its part of our culture to get married and have kids right away. Most of my family were married and had kids at very young ages (mom at 21, brothers and 16 and 19, etc.) Don't worry about it, people will always pressure you, but by the time your 60 they'll get the message. lol
2006-09-19 22:58:24 · answer #3 · answered by Lila 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Our closest couple friends are in their mid-thirties, don't want kids, have dogs. They enjoy our kids, we enjoy their dogs. When they got married about 12 years ago, I'd guess, there was a lot of pressure and questioning. After presuming the couple was infertile, it finally came out, that they had no intention of raising children, whatsoever. People were shocked. I think it's just "the norm", even now. They're very happy. I don't think having children is for everyone, and I respect you for knowing who you are. And Mrs. T, it is most impolite to inquire about one's family planning intentions...you might try asking people why they ask!
2006-09-19 22:57:16 · answer #4 · answered by steelypen 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes me actually I'm 41 married with no children i love them but i d ont see the need to add to the overpopulation not to mention that i never wanted to be a baby machine i have wonderful nephews and love taking care of them and handing them back to their parents
i think people that say that to you need to mind their own business like there will never be another baby born if we dont do it come on sister I'm with you lol the husband gets the fun part and then they are free to do what they want and we are stuck with an infant hanging off of us for a year there are too many children that dont have loving home with both parents we would adopt if we decided to go that route you are a family your married right so there you are the two of you married are a family that's how i see it you have my support
people dont say that stuff to us they know better to mind their own businessthats kind of personal between the two of you nad you dont have to give an explanation to anyone or prove anything
2006-09-19 23:04:05 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I'm not really in your shoes, but I say that if you and your husband don't want to have kids then you most certainly shouldn't have them. Tell all of those other people to go procreate for themselves if they really want more babies around. You should have children because you want to have a family, not because other people told you to. I say that--no--you are not weird at all. You just know what you want (or don't want, I should say) and that is admirable.
2006-09-19 22:46:31 · answer #6 · answered by im_just_me_612 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am 40 and I don't have kids. Married for 11 years. I wondered if I wanted kids for a long time.............but finally decided that I was being selfish and this world is way too cruel.
2006-09-19 22:49:03 · answer #7 · answered by rere 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OF COURSE THERE ARE 30 YEAR OLD WIVES WITHOUT CHILDREN! just because people pressure you, doesn't mean that you are required to do what they are pressuring you about. if you wants kids, go for it. if you don't, then don't. just remember to stick to your decision, and be true to yourself. don't worry about what others think.
2006-09-19 22:49:08 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh trust me there are lots. I have several friends who are childless and several family members also who are childless. You will be ready when YOU are ready to have them - don't let anyone pressure you.
2006-09-19 22:53:09 · answer #9 · answered by littlemiss-sunshine 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good for you!!! You are however, the only woman I've ever had contact with at your age who felt this way.
2006-09-19 22:50:11 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋