2006-09-19 15:41:32 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Just tell her how you feel, but do it in a way that's non-judgemental. You can tell her that you love her and you support her, but you don't share her opinions and enthusiasm regarding her lifestyle choices. You are entitled to have your opinions, and you can love her just the same. If she takes offence to your opinions, then it is she who has the issue, not you, and she should learn to respect your opinions, you are the mother and she should love and respect you no matter what.
2006-09-19 15:57:08 · answer #1 · answered by brendalyn 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
My son is gay and I have no problem with it. I can admit I cried the first week when he "came out" but, it was because I knew the way other people felt about "gays". I didn't want him to go through that misery. Now, I have no problem with telling people that I have a son whos gay. And, whenever I do, they always tell me about a relative that is gay too. I don't want to blab it to the world but, I don't hide it either cause if more people admitted that they have a relative who is gay being " gay " would be no BIG thing and there will be less hate towards them. I never realized that there were so many gays out there until I started talking to others. You don't have to agree, just don't make a big deal out of it. Her sexual preference has nothing to do with your love for her and her love for you. You can e-mail me anytime if you want to talk. Ralisa49@yahoo
2006-09-19 22:50:31 · answer #2 · answered by Corina 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should forget about the "i don't agree" part of the statement. You should tell her that you love her and that there is nothing wrong with her preferences. You should definitely not try to set her up with boys because that will give her a very clear indication that you do not approve.
You have to try to convince yourself very hard that her being gay is not in anyway anything wrong or improper.
Good luck.
2006-09-19 22:45:37 · answer #3 · answered by Magina 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just tell her you love her, will Always love her, and that you will do your best to try and gain an understanding of why she's gay.
Understand, many of us do not 'approve" of someone being gay or lesbian, because we were taught that it was wrong.
But the truth is that it is NOT a chosen behavior! Who would want to choose lifestyle so different from the norm?
She will need your support. God Bless
2006-09-19 22:47:02 · answer #4 · answered by seeitmiway32 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's the fact that you don't agree with her lifestyle that makes it seems like you dont support her. If you dont support her know one else will. Just let her know that happy for her that you support her know matter what. You have to think about it like this society doesnt accept gay people and if you dont accept her who will.
From Djamaicangoddess
2006-09-19 23:35:52 · answer #5 · answered by rhaeyez029 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She was honest with you, so do the same with her. You don't have to get into details as to why you don't agree...just tell her that you appreciate that she was open and honest. That you admire her courage and that although you don't agree with her chosen path, that you still love her. Always have and always will.
And just remember, that although you don't agree...try to be welcoming when she brings her mate to visit.
I commend you for being so open and loving. So many parents shy away from this topic and disown their children over these issues. To love our children, is to love them unconditionally.
2006-09-19 23:01:37 · answer #6 · answered by my_lil_buttercups 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it is not always an easy thing to accept when you find out that your child is attracted to the same sex that she or he is. Sometimes the best response is one that is not spoken but one that is shown. I would just give her a hug and tell her you love her and that you will always be there no matter what happens in her life. You can accept what she is without liking it and that won't hurt her feelings at all.
2006-09-19 22:48:46 · answer #7 · answered by Ittsybittsykitty69 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There really is no way to express both sentiments. By denying her lifestyle, she perceives you are denying her your love. No matter how hard you try to express your love for her, the conflict will remain. She knows that you love her, but one of life's hardest ordeals is having a preant who doesn;t accept you. The best you can do is try to accept the lifestyle your daughter has chosen.
2006-09-19 22:45:27 · answer #8 · answered by doctorpapaswing 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you just summed it up. You will always love her. Make sure she knows you love her unconditionally. You don't need to tell her you don't agree with her, she knows how you feel and she knows how she feels. You can let her know you don't understand and are confused, but you will love her no matter what. Just reassure her that you will always love her.
Children need to know that they will always have their parents support no matter what.
2006-09-19 22:48:16 · answer #9 · answered by LasVegasMomma 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would definitely say that you have a problem on your hands. Here is some advice from a lesbian, who has family that doesn't agree with me being gay, but still love me.
My mom does not care, she accepts me for who i am, as does my step dad, and step mom, but my dad is the only one that doesn't agree totally. And i do have to say, he is the only one i don't have a great relationship with.
The thing is, is that i tried to be "straight" for many years, got very suicidal over it and why God wouldn't just let me like guys like everyone else that i went to church with. I was one of the biggest "bible thumpers" in my school, preaching to my friends every day at lunch, surely someone like me could change sides. So i started to research it, and found that being gay is not a choice, and that scientists are proving more and more every day that it is genetic.
An example, if you spray male pheromones around a gay male, their brains will react the same way a straight woman would, but if you spray female pheromones around them, their brains do not react.
One thing that i have noticed is that there are whole families (mother/father and offspring) that are all gay be it bisexual or totally gay. It is something that can be passed down.
If you do not agree with it because of religious beliefs, you should also know that if you go back to the original bible that was written in Aramaic, the verses that speak about homosexuality were not there. They were added when king James translated it into English, and added them for population control since people were having sex outside of wedlock more and he needed a way to curb that practice.
You also need to realize that you are not just disagreeing with a part of her life, being gay is like being a woman. Its like someone telling you, i like you, i just don't like that you are a woman, i think that's not a good thing. Being a woman IS your life, just like being gay IS hers. If you do not accept that, you are not accepting her at all. She cannot change it. No one in their right minds would choose to be gay. The reason i say that is because we are second class citizens in the USA that are hated, ridiculed, sometimes even killed. A lot of us also are casted out of our families because of who we are, who would choose that? Would you?
You have your advatar as being black. Back before the sixty's, it was illegal for a white person and a black person to get married, because they used the bible to say that it was a sin for the races to mix. Now, they do the same for gays and lesbians. Think long and hard why you don't agree with your flesh and blood for being the way they are. Because you might not be able to sustain your relationship with her.
One day she will have a girlfriend, and one day she just might want to get married to another woman, and she would want her mom to be there, but do you really want to miss out on the happiest day of your daughters life because of ignorance and your lack of acceptance? Is it that worth it to stay stubborn? Take it from me who knows many in my world who's parents don't accept them, its not worth it, love your daughter, and learn to accept all of her.
2006-09-20 03:02:22 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋