How is it possible for these people to be this self-hating and culturally retarded? I'm involved with a...

Question

man from West Africa. He and his family came from a busy city. His country has no history of slavery or apartied. They look identical to American blacks as far as ranging in complexion from Wesley Snipes to Halle Berry. Still, they have ideas about themselves/other black people that R similar to deeply oppressed, unenlightened blacks here in the US during the 40s! Making comments like “No not the black one, the handsome one." "Mexican Hispanics are so dark. Cuban Hispanics are beautiful. They look almost white" when asked do you like Beyonce or Ashanti or Janet Jackson? The males and females will almost always say "I like Britney Spears" or "I like Jessica Simpson" (eye roll). They seem to have zero appreciation for other people of color and have whites/whiteness on a pedestal as being the gold standard of cool, beauty and it-ness. I'm shocked by this. Has anyone else encountered this internalized racism from immigrant blacks (or other people of color)? Anyone know what causes it?

I just read the first three answers to this question. First one was just clueless the wheel was turning but the hamster was definitely dead, the second one is a racist PIG (that I'm reporting BTW) and is probably only online right now because they canceled tonight's clan meeting and there's a puncture in his blowup doll and the one third should of been swallowed or flushed away in a condom before it was conceived. Look, I can spot a fool from a mile away in the dark so, if you like these first three are a fool...save your "answer" for someone stupid enough to read beyond the first sentence.

Answer 1

Hello Roxanne !

That part of West Africa may not have experienced slavery, but be assured that they have indeed been colonized by the (take your pick) Portuguese, Dutch, British, need I go on ?

I am married to central African man, and his country was colonized by Belgium; when I converse with his nieces about beauty, they always lean towards the lighter shade; even if the persons features are grotesque !

They look at me like I'm certifiable when I go to the beach to willingly get darker !
( when I tan, it hides every single imperfection)
Self hatred is all around us, We all know that the ideal image of beauty for a woman is to be of fair hair, and skin.

Even Caucasian women are aware of this. For example, Paris Hilton- she is naturally a brown eyed brunette, who really doesn't feel pretty unless she bleaches her hair, and covers her brown eyes with blue contact lenses.

Amazing; she's extremely wealthy, and slender, but she feels that isn't enough; so in order to make herself desirable, out comes the hair bleach, and blue contact lenses.

Anyway, I have found most immigrant ****** ( yes, I said/wrote ******, I like to spice things up a bit ) to be very backwards in regards to this topic; it's self hatred, plain and simple. It sickens me, and for the most part, when I do make an attempt to point out their self loathing to them; they end up nodding their heads in agreement, but it's so ingrained in them, they really cannot believe that lighter/whiter isn't the be all, end all. Sad, but true.

For many, many moons we've been taught and shown that dark skin is bad, and ******* features are undesirable; Lil Kim, Michael Jackson, Little Richard (compare his hands to his face)are living examples.

Usually, these features are only seen as beautiful when Caucasian women possess these features. Which is why many of them plump their lips, spray themselves with that God awful fake a** tanning crap, who knows what else..


Media, and parents are to blame. So to answer your question, I have encountered many people of African, and European descent who fell that to be considered attractive, you must have fair skin, and hair, and light coloured eyes.

Anyhoo, I try my best to love everyone. I'm sick to death of all this hatred, whether it's internalized or towards others.. It doesn't help any ones situation at all.

Hmmn, here's a thought; to help change the mindsets of these people; should we promote natural beauty ?

Love, light, and peace,
tishy

Answer 2

I am not sure of what the cause would be other than it is their preference. I can not judge another persons likes or dislikes.

How ever your message sends a clear statement that you resent any person of color thinking in a certain way.

I quote you,

"No not the black one, the handsome one." "Mexican Hispanics are so dark. Cuban Hispanics are beautiful. They look almost white" when asked do you like Beyonce or Ashanti or Janet Jackson? The males and females will almost always say "I like Britney Spears" or "I like Jessica Simpson" (eye roll)."

AND

"They seem to have zero appreciation for other people of color and have whites/whiteness on a pedestal as being the gold standard of cool, beauty and it-ness. I'm shocked by this."

I am shocked as well,
I am shocked because of your reverse discrimination.
I am shocked because you are inciting racism through a question on Yahoo and then reporting someone for doing what you did.
I am shocked because you feel the other people of color are not supposed to be free thinking human beings and allowed to have their opinion.

Have a nice day
:o)
Jerry

Answer 3

Yes, i have witnessed it. The answer is exactly as you wrote it, "Internalized racism"

Internalize is a popular word in sociology and psychology.

"...to give a subjective character to; specifically : to incorporate (as values or patterns of culture) within the self as conscious or subconscious guiding principles through learning or socialization"

Meaning, they began to believe either consciously or unconsciously the story of the masses. Socialization begins to live in the body. Meaning, all of our interactions begin to become a part of us. We are flooded with stereotypes constantly, so much so that we do not even notice the messages the media, our peers, our family, educational systems, etc are playing with immense repetition. We are not aware because often we do not receive enough counter messages to take notice that anything is askew or not logical. Instead we think it is normal and "truth" Many people do not know how to use critical reasoning skills. Many people are not eduated about the rest of the world and other cultures unless it is through a culture centric view (meaning seeing another culture but attributing our own cultural habbits to it and in a sense not really seeing the other culture).

Perhaps the very best example of people internalizing social concoctions is gender. Gender is something that changes over time and across cultures. It is socially constructed. To summerize an explanation of this concept:
Gender opperates on a "may" or "may not" clause meaning permission or expectation, nature opperates on a "can" or "cannot" clause meaning biological ability.

The first link is to the dictionary.
The second link is an example of how different cultures can be very different and how people can easily misinterperate something when seeing through a culture centric lense.
Third link is to an archive of papers i've written on many social issues.

I hope this info has helped to shed a little light on things ^_~

Answer 4

West Africa may not have had apartheid but they are still in the same region, geographically speaking, and I believe were treated pretty much the same by the white minority in the region! Also allot of it seems just to be personal preference. Just because one is black, or white doesn't mean they have to only enjoy music, movies etc. created by a fellow of their own race. This is the 21st century, since when is freedom of enjoyment limited to what comes from ones own race? Isn't that in itself RACISM?

Answer 5

I'm sorry I can't remember the exact research details. I hate to quote that which I can't prove. Some college conducted a research in which they presented dolls of different ethnic color, dress etc. Young black girls were asked which one was pretty. NOT THE PRETTIEST, JUST PRETTY. An astoundingly high percentage selected the white, (Caucasian). When asked which doll was ugly, about the same percentage selected the black one.
The final conclusion, theirs, was this was caused by the media, movies and clothing etc. advertisements. I don't know which country you are talking about, but a little known fact was that the slave traders bought the slaves at the slave markets. The slave capturers and providers were other blacks. This stigma has caused a shame among the black people. Maybe this is your answer. I hope so.
Vaya con DIOS

Answer 6

Not that I would know much about it but it is sheer fact that genetically white women are more feminine then black women...just as Asian women are more feminine on a whole then white women. As humans we often forget that we are animals, that we evolved over a long period of time and only recently have begun to intermingle. As the enviorments that our species lived in became less and less dangerous from outside forces the more defenceless we became. Frailty is a common theme associated with being female. The weaker, the more attractive on a purely primal scale.

Answer 7

In Hawaii we are so used to having diverse culture, so not so much an issue. But still see favoritism toward lighter skinned people.

Answer 8

you encountered this with only one family...that doesnt mean that everyone in west africa is the same...it's someone's prefreence it's all...i never encountered that so no..sometimes people confuse racism with prefreences...if they sad that black people are killers or ugly now that's pure racism...like me i prefer going out with italians but that doesnt mean i dislike all other races or nations or i owuldnt give them a chance,,,

Answer 9

Maybe they are just color blind! Maybe because they did not grow up here they do not have the racial differences pounded into their head the way we have. Did you stop to think that people of different cultures from other countries have been raised differently than we have?

Answer 10

By your question, it sounds to me that you too also judge people.