if you tell someone about your problems and people are included in it, is it the same thing as gossiping?

Question

my bestfriend recently said that im always gossiping and that he doesnt want to tell me anything anymore. i tell him what my problems are and people that i have issues. so i constantly just tell my bestfriend whats happening between the other and i. and sometimes i talk about what i dont like about that person. so am i gossiping? is telling people my problems bad because people might think im talking bad about people? i can never keep anything to myself, i always have to tell someone because i like to get things out, but it seems as though people always seem to get you wrong. i dont know.

Answer 1

Gossip is a dangerous proposition. For one thing people start thinking to themselves, 'hey if this person is trashing everybody they have relationships with, what is to prevent them from trashing me as well?' A good rule of thumb is to never say anything that you would not repeat to the people involved in your story, as if they were right there listening to you talk, the whole time. Perhaps you have gone overboard in expressing your opinions about others and your best friend is trying to set you straight. I would tell your best friend that you are going to try to adhere to a more strict code of ethics and thank him for his advice and tell him that if he catches you 'slipping' he should let you know. In this way he will see your honest commitment to trying to change your ways and begin to have trust in you again. Also, it might be time to re-evaluate if you are too obsessed with your own problems and aggravations. Some people really exceed the reasonable limit and become, you know...like Debby Downer. Sometimes we are so deep in our misery we form habits in our conversations that we keep rehashing our sorrows to people that are only human and would like to talk about more lighthearted subjects or even, themselves. Hope that this helps.

Answer 2

Talking bad about people behind their back is basically gossiping. So, yes, you are gossiping. I'm sure your other friend can form opinions for himself on those people you are talking about. It's best to get the frustrations off your back by writing it in a diary, rather than bad-mouthing to other people. Even if you're not saying anything really bad.

Answer 3

well actually there is a thin line between gossiping and telling someone about your problems with somebody. gossiping is telling some things about somebody with malicious intent, whether true or not.

you know we have the same attitude regarding problems. we like to share our problems with others in order to find the best solution or just find someone willing to listen.

the problem arises when the person you are talking to interprets differently what you are trying to say. obviously your friend thinks that you are just gossiping and are just spreading some nasty things about the other person.

maybe it's in the way you tell your story. sometimes telling too much about about somebody makes it look like gossiping already. try not to say too much about how you hate somebody or about your problems with them.

Answer 4

I hate to have to tell you this, but sometimes we can say to much, and that can cause others not to like you. Though I am sure your mean no harm, you need to limit what you say. It all goes back to he said, she said, they saiid, and that is not good. I've always taught my kids, if you ain't got nothing nice to say, than don't say nothing at all. And when you gossip about others, you are giving them a reason to gossip about you. Be careful! And good luck!

Answer 5

i was the same exact way.. so you know what i did.. if you have any animals... talk to them i know it sounds crazy but it helped me alot. i told my cat all the gossip and secrets i know and the best part is.. she cant repeat it b/c shes a cat. lol or.. you can just tell your best friend that your sorry about the way you talk and you'll try harder to not gossip. but gossip is basically sayin "oh i heard that she did this and he did that" its all he said she said. so.. just try to apologize or talk to an animal ;)

Answer 6

Maybe you should try to keep other people out of it and stop telling this particular friend about it. Are you sure you're not 'bad mouthing' other people?

Answer 7

the actual undeniable reality that you save pointing out travelling leads me to trust that you or he may be from a distinct united states. Is there a cultural massive difference the following? some international places have VERY close households that communicate all issues and position kinfolk above spouses. adult males must be insensitive and slightly thick each so often at the same time as it is composed of those products. they don't advise to damage you they merely do not imagine. even with the indisputable fact that, on your case you've made it very clean that it is a important situation for you and he nonetheless retains to do it. he's being very disrespectful to you and in no way assisting you in any respect. that's probable debatable yet i imagine i ought to take this into my personal fingers and commence arising with some preplanned one liners to positioned those human beings of their position. there is not any longer some thing incorrect with announcing, i'm no longer smooth discussing that with you, or i do not imagine it truly is an perfect question, or I have requested hubby to no longer communicate that information, with you as i don't sense it truly is anybody's company. Be agency yet no longer bitchy. And in case your husband has as situation with it i ought to haven't any situation telling him "in case you probably did not save putting me in this position i does no longer ought to assert some thing so blame your self." solid luck.

Answer 8

of course not!! ur problems is what u want to do with them. if she was a real friend she wouldn't care.

Answer 9

u answered ur own question in ur last sentence!

Answer 10

not really.