I've found out that my husband has had 2 affairs in 5 years. We've been married for 19 and have 2 children. This is not an easy decision. He's being very sweet and trying to do all of the right things, say the right things. I don't know for how long. He seems deeply remorseful and wants to try anything to make our marriage work. He's even going to counseling. But I just don't know if I can forgive him. I know I can not forget. It's so hard when he's doing all the things he would never do before. He says he was confused, tempted, curious...now he's learned a lesson. I just don't think I'll ever feel the same way about him or trust him again, but 19 years is a long time to walk away from.
2006-09-19 15:04:52 · 7 answers · asked by buggoff 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He cheated… again
The first time a significant other cheats is usually a good time to head for the exit, but while it takes a lot of healing and rebuilding of trust, there are relationships that are capable of surviving infidelity. A second indiscretion, however, leaves no grey area. Even if it were never to happen again, you’re either committing yourself to a sentence of distrust and suspicion or compromising a substantial level of your self-respect by staying with him. If you know he’s strayed again—even if it was only a kiss, even if he’s truly, completely and excruciatingly sorry—it’s over. And if it’s you whose attention has wandered, it’s time to admit that this isn’t working for you. When you cheat on a loved one you cheat yourself of a partnership that is whole and honest; you’re better off looking for someone who can hold all of your attention.
2006-09-19 23:21:23 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a each woman to their own decision. My first husband cheated on me within the first 2 weeks of our marriage and he did the same thing. He tried to make it work but even after 5 years of marriage i could not forgive him. He was a good man and he had his faults but it was something i could not deal with. Everytime i looked at him i saw the person that he cheated with. If he was late or not where he said he was i thought he was cheating. Counseling may help. I did not want to invest the time to do so. If you do not have trust it usually never works out. You will always wonder Who, Why, and blame yourself for something. I did not want to live like that and decided to move on. You have far more time invested than i did. You have to decide if he is done and if you can forgive and forget. That is a hard one to do. Good Luck!
2006-09-19 15:15:03 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
My husband and I divorced after 20 years due to his cheating. He didn't think he had done anything wrong. At least your husband has admitted his mistake and is trying to work things out.
I know that I could never maintain a marriage with someone who cheated on me. I feel that if he breaks that vow he has no respect for me as a person. You may feel differently about it. It is up to you whether you will be able to trust him again.
Will you trust him if he says he has to work late? Will you trust him if he goes out of town on business? Will you trust him to have nights out with the "boys?"
If you don't mind that he has been with other women while married to you, and that he broke a sacred vow of fidelity, then keep him and hope he really has changed.
2006-09-19 15:10:39 · answer #3 · answered by physandchemteach 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My hubby cheated on me, it was very hard to forgive him. But, I did and now we are so happy together. It takes a long time to forget, but if your hubby isn't a nurturing type of person it's impossible. I say stay with him if he'll nurture you and help heal those wounds. Good luck, I hope I've been some help.
2006-09-19 15:22:16 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
My ex husband cheated on me a number of times ( I lost count ) He told me he wanted out of the marriage when I was on the delivery table with our second child because he wanted to be with his best friends cousin, and a little over a year later my ex calls me and wants me back because the chick he left me for left him for another guy. and we been divorced for 2 years
2006-09-19 15:08:54 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
We've been separated for nearly 15 years and still is. But I have forgiven him.
2006-09-19 15:23:27 · answer #6 · answered by dtmc542006 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
cheat on him and it will be better...I'm always available
2006-09-19 15:08:07 · answer #7 · answered by groovintimes 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋