am i wrong for this?

Question

i am a first time mom and i live with my baby daddy and his parents. some times i feel like his mother doesn't think i can take care of my own child. i know she is trying to help and this is her 1st grandchild but i feel offended when she is like are you sure she's hungry when she cries or when she is bundled up already when we have the air on she gives hints that she needs a hat and socks on. i dont want to over heat her and i pretty much know her cries. am i wrong and overreacting when i get upset and feel stupid

Answer 1

She is trying to help. let her its nice to have as much help as you can

Answer 2

You are far from wrong in this situation. The same exact thing happened to me, and we didn't live with his mother. We live with his father (they're divorced). She came over everyday and was always saying "hat and socks, hat and socks," I wanted to kill her! Also, you are the parent of your child, you make the decisions, you knoew best. Nobody knows better than the mother. You should set aside some time to discuss this matter in a mature way to tell her to kinda "back off." I am sure you know what you are doing and if not, you can ask the pediatrician any questions you do not know. You need to be strong because it is the FIRST grandchild- but let me tell you, you are DEFINITELY NOT ALONE!! I wish you the best of luck because I am going through the same thing!

Answer 3

Nope, you are not overreacting. But I do think she is just trying to help. It sounds like she is following the advice that her doctors gave her when she had her babies. Here is what I do when my grandma or older aunts do the same thing to me.

I say " Well, that is really good advice, thank you! The last time I took my baby to his doctor she told me that my baby is just different and can't use so much blankets and things. They might overheat him and he could get really sick."

If you tell them they are wrong and your doctor says this...you will just fight. But if you act like you have a child that has something unique about them...for some reason they love that. My grandma is always telling people that my kids are extra warm blooded and that's why they aren't wearing 20 layers of clothes like she put her kids in. She is proud of them being "unique"

I also try and show my grandma that I am using some of her advice. Point out that you heard her advice and you are so thankful you got it. I know it sounds dumb, but sometimes all these people want is to be needed. Make her feel needed. Good luck, I understand how frustrating this situation can be. Hope it all works out for you

Answer 4

Both of you are not wrong. All old citizens would want to share with the young one of their experience. However, they do not know that time had change, before we give birth we had already read up books or magazines to gain knowledge. Well, your are the baby mother u make the FINAL decision. That is! Nobody can interfere. Whatever she tell u, u think is reasonable u accept if not forget abt it.

Right now, just enjoy the time u spend with the baby. When they smile at u, all your frustration will be gone with wind. Mummy Happy Baby Also Happy!

Answer 5

No you aren't wrong. You probably just feel that it's your child and of course you'll want the best for your baby. Don't get her mad because after all you are living under their roof. Plus it's her first grandchild of course she's a bit overprotective. She obviously doesn't want anything to happen to the kid. She wants him to be as healthy as can be, she knows what it's like to be a caring mother after all she raised your boyfriend/husband into a man that you hold onto, which proves she did a pretty good job raising him. Good luck with that!

Answer 6

Honey I lived with my mother after having my child and on multiple occations I told her to stick it where the sun don't shine. I breastfeed and that was done wrong, but she never breastfed any of us. The baby was always cold even when she was sweating. I wasn't supposed to bathe her but every other day. the list goes on forever.

Needless to say I ended up telling her off and moving out. Only you know how you want to raise your child. If you don't agree with her tell her to keep her mouth shut and don't feel stupid because your not. Your the child's mother and you know what is best for them. Like you said you have figured out her cries and you know what she wants or needs. Tell her to butt out or move out.

Answer 7

No not at all but instead of blowing up (if you do) walk away for a min and take a second to yourself. Sometimes grandparents are bad, especially grandmothers and soon to be mother in laws. LOL Just bare with it and take it as a grain of salt. They think since theyve been there done that they can rule the world. LOL

Answer 8

Hi ,look I can see your point and if she over steps the mark and really trys to take over ,you have the right to say no ,but you do live with her in her home so you owe her some respect ,if its not really a big deal ,don't make it one ,she may have some good advice if you stopped being defencive and listen ,so long as after listening you are the one who makes the decisions ,with advise you take what you like and leave the rest.just smile say thanks but you prefer to do it this way .sometimes we get upset because we see the advise as saying we are not doing it right and that's not always how its meant.If you don't get all upset ,you may find that its a help to have her around and she may even become your Friend,after all she loves her Son and grandson too ,doesn't she?

Answer 9

You are her mom, by your own intuition, you know what is best for your baby. Sometimes people just want to put there 2 sense in, and she's been there done that. She seems like she is trying to help, but remember you know what's best.
You are not overreacting, just sometimes you get annoyed with others telling you what you should and shouldn't do!

Answer 10

nope my mother in law came to stay with us for 2 weeks - that was 4 years ago!!!! and she does the same thing she wants me to do everything the way she did from bathing my 7 month old 3 times a day to making sure to get his MMR separated ( she has been harpin on that since before the baby was born ) and she wants my other kids in bed at 730 I'm like we gotta move out and then i realize it is my place but i am going nuts.

Answer 11

No you are not wrong for feeling that way. Maybe it would help if you explained your feelings to her. Just politely tell her that you appreciate all her help very much but you would also appreciate it if she would try not to step on your toes as far as you are the baby's mother. Tell her when she is taking care of the baby she can do it her way (for example putting a hat on her if she thinks she needs it) but when you are taking care of her not to tell you that she thinks you are doing it wrong. You can also tell her she is welcome to offer advice but the decision to act on her advice is yours.

Good luck, hope this helps.