I told my now ex fiance a little white lie to avoid a fight and he ended up breaking up w/ me. I came clean but he still won't speak to me. It's been over a week now. Has anyone cut you off like this? How do you get someone to forgive you. I know it's a whole trust thing but I love this man and would do anything for him. Please help!!!
2006-09-19 14:55:58 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
The Lie Was About A Phone Call. He Asked Who I Was Talking To And I Said One Person But He Found Out It Was Another. It Was No Big Deal, I Just Wanted To Avoid An Arguement.
2006-09-19 15:08:38 · update #1
beg and beg and pray
2006-09-19 14:57:43 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Maybe the reason he is not speaking to you is cause he is really hurt. A lie no matter how big or small, is a lie and when you lie to some one that loves you and wants to be with you it hurts them. Give him some time to get over the pain, if he loves you as much as he says he does, he will forgive you, and things will work out for the two of you. Im sure in his own little way, he probably wasnt 100% honest with you about something at one point in time, whether he says he dont know, or no or just worked around the answer, any of this is actually a lie and he would be just as guilty as you are, when he thinks about it and reminds his self of this he will forgive you, the same way you would have had to forgive him. If he has been 100% honest with you since you've beentogether, you better straighten up and be honest with him, cause there aint to many like him left.
2006-09-19 22:07:05 · answer #2 · answered by ky gal 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You would do anything for him except tell the truth at all times? I think maybe your version of a "little white lie" is far different from his. Lying, for any reason, is a terrible habit and very hard to break once you get into it. They start small and grow into whoppers. Liars can cause a lot of damage in people's lives. I applaud your ex for taking a definite stand against it, no matter how "little" you may have thought it was. If you lied about something so trivial, what was the big lie you were trying to hide with it?
I hope you two can work it out, and that you will never lie to him again, no matter how trivial you may think it is.
Good luck
2006-09-19 23:00:26 · answer #3 · answered by Slimsmom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
White lies are often used as protection systems, like air bags. The bug question is what was the white lie and the topic you used it to avoid the fight over?
Because while you may not see it from your point of view it could be that further down his train of thought or logic there is a point where he's going "if she lied about that it's easy to lie about blank, and I don't like people like that."
Or maybe just maybe it was the lie it's self that made him think that?
either way, give him a few more days and then confront him and talk it out.
2006-09-19 22:05:00 · answer #4 · answered by boter_99 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is one of God commandments not to lie. We are all guilty of it including myself at times. However, repent, ask God first to forgive you. You see when God gave us these commandments they were not to harm us, but to make us better people. When people look back over there lives, when we step out of the will of God, NOTHING goes right. No matter how hard you try. It may go ok for a little while but it won't continue. Have you ever noticed when you lie, you have to tell another, and another. You see your fiance had every right to be upset. You are breaking trust. But, don't beat yourself up over it. Everything happens for a reason. Focus on the Creator of this earth and not His creation and watch the peace come into your life as it beautifully unfolds the plans He(God) has for you. GOd bless you
2006-09-19 22:05:47 · answer #5 · answered by Selah 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What was the little white lie about?? Not trying to pry into your personal life but what might be a simple fib may be a HUGE betrayal to him.
I have been cut off before in a big way. I was admitted into the hospital for depression and suicide when I was 17. The guy I had been dating for 2 years dumped me on Valentine's Day while I was in the hospital. How do you handle it?? You cry, you mourn, you weep, you lay in bed for a week, you just exist for awhile. And then when you have it all out of your system you realize that you will be okay. Then you realize the world did not come crashing to an end.
You can ask for someone's forgiveness but you can't make them forgive. But then, that's on them.
2006-09-19 22:02:57 · answer #6 · answered by ktjokt 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
That's why any kind of lie, whether white or black, is still a lie and will eventually hurt someone. Just let him cool off. If he really wanted to come back to u, he will seek u out. Other than that, the only thing u can do right now is to let him be.
2006-09-19 22:06:06 · answer #7 · answered by cheetah7 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's hard to forgive a lie because that's when the trust dies, and trust me when I say that you can't raise the death from its place, just think why you lied to him and if it was for a good reason he needs to understand; if he doesn't understand that it means he was just waiting for an excuse to break up with you and didn't know how to do it, and if you lied to him for a stupid reason, then I guess you're confusing love with lust. But give him time you also need to understand that if he does loves you back he's hurt and is hard for him to understand why you lied to him whether is small or big lie, you hurt him, just give it time and also it will help you to analyze the relationship of you and him.
2006-09-19 22:02:32 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
What you call a little white lie obviously was a big lie to him.Yes i have been through that and it hurts.He probably will forgive you but don't expect him to forget it.You can only ask his forgiveness,whether he accepts it is up to him.Call him,tell him how much you love him and miss him,and that you want him back.The same thing may have happened even if you told him the truth,but at least you would have a clear conscious.
2006-09-19 22:10:19 · answer #9 · answered by Willnotlietoyou 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The little lies tell the big story...Why did you lie to him? Who were you talking to that you felt you had to lie about it? Evidently, your ex-fiance didn't consider it a "little white lie" if he broke off the engagement. Its a trust issue. He doesn't think you are trustworthy. You could try to talk to him and let him know that you were wrong to do that and that you are sorry for doing it.
2006-09-20 01:40:18 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You think it was a little lie, he must have thought it was a big lie. You didn't say what the lie was, so how can someone help?
I would not want to be with someone who lied to me. I make that very clear when I go into a relationship. If someone lies to you it means they do not respect you. Your ex probably feels that same way with you and your lie.
2006-09-19 22:02:04 · answer #11 · answered by physandchemteach 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋