How do people move on when their 1st marriage fails and how can we trust the next person?

Question

Cheating husband with his co worker and she would lie for him. He would see us both. We have a 2 year old and 5 months old. I was pregnant when he left.

Answer 1

If you still love him, just believe in your heart that if ever he realizes his mistake for leaving you and your kid, he surely will return to you. When he does, forgive him with all your heart and move on without you being haunted by the memories of his leaving you.

However, if you believe that he won't come back to you anymore, or even if he comes back, you won't ever accept him, move on lightheartedly with the thoughts of your love and caring for your kid. Also, just let Destiny do his share in bringing to your path the right man who deserves your love and affection and will be most willing to be the responsible stepfather of your kid. All the best.

Answer 2

Am sorry for what you've gone through... Love takes time to heal when the hurt is so much....Remember the alibis.., lies your husband used to tell you.Learn from your mistake (s).Talk to your closest friend 'bout the problem this will lighten up the burden.I know its hard not to think 'bout your husband but keep trying not to.Be strong for your gorgeous lil' angels.

Your not the only one in this world suffering this kind of misfortune sweetie & they've succeded in thier trials.And i don't see any reason that you can't.

Cheer up sweetie...Its only a test & sure a very tough one.No matter how dark the clouds above you now...don't forget that theres always a wind that will blow them away & a very bright sun will shine on you... always.

So don't fret....WISH YOU ALL THE BEST.

Answer 3

I am so sorry! I know that it's hard because I have been there. UGH! My ex was a hoe and a drunk. I am on my 2nd marriage now. It is hard to trust again. I will admit that. But, you can.

1. DO NOT DATE for like a year or so. Give yourself time to heal and to recover. Find yourself, first.

When you do date again, pay attention to the guy. Ask questions. Before you decide to marry him, make sure you feel that he is worth trusting and that you haven't heard of anything in his past to make you feel that he isn't.

Good luck. You will get through this! Time makes scars of the deepest gouges.

Answer 4

Your husband is a worthless piece of shyte. To leave you when you're pregnant shows his real charactor. What went wrong? Were you maybe a bit grumpy or moody because of your pregnancy and he couldn't deal with it? Guys like that make me sick. What does he think those words were when he married you? You know the,"To have and to hold. To love and to cherrish. Thru sickness and in health" parts? Well darlin if he did it to you he'll do it to the next one as well. I know that doesn't make it any easier for you but you just hold you're head up high and move on. Don't let anyone see how much it really bothers you. Keep a smile on your face no matter what. You have two children who need you. Just be a Mom for awhile. You don't need a man for that. I went thru a break up after being together for 11 years. She left me. Needless to say, I was devistated. My world crumbled to the ground in the blink of an eye. Everything was fine (or so I thought) when I left to go to work. When I came home everything was gone. It hurt like hell but eventually I got over it. It took damn near two years. What you need to do is file for any type of support you can get. Child support, allimony, whatever you can get. And if he tries to make a deal with you like giving you so much a week cash so you won't file against him, tell him to get phuked. Push him out of your life. Everytime you think about him just think about what hes done to you. After awhile the sympathy you feel towards yourself will turn to disgust towards him. And you WILL move on without him. Hang in there and good luck.

Answer 5

Well i only have one word that i would have to describe your husband and i dont believe your allowed to use that language on here.....
Very unfortunate situation but you need to try to take the positives out the the whole thing...try to learn from the whole experience....my cousin was left with 4 kids with the youngest being twins and only 6months old he cheated on her too.
she had her ups and downs for close to 2 years....she never took him back and she is now with someone else who is a true saint. She trusts him to a degree but every decision she makes her and the kids go first...
Think more for yourself and your children more than ever before..you will meet someone else and be happy but you have some healing to do first.
Take care and all the best for your bright future

Answer 6

I am in the last part so I can tell you what to do. First stay away from relationship for a while. Get a hold of yourself. Start learning to love the you again. Pamper yourself for a while. Just love yourself for a while. Let this be for about three years and then move on to build yourself educationally and socially and spiritually.

Answer 7

Wow, that's a tough one. I was in a similar situation several years ago and had a difficult time moving on, too.

Here is what helped me get through:
1) My children needed me to be the steady rock in their lives. I had to pull myself together for them.
2) I found a divorce support group at a church and went to it for two years before I even dated someone else.
3) I forced myself to put thoughts of my ex out of my mind. When the thoughts slipped in I forced them out by thinking about other things.

I didn't date for two years because I didn't trust myself to NOT make a mistake and choose the wrong kind of man again. I have had a difficult time trusting men. My relationships have had to move slowly so I could take time to learn to trust the man.

My suggestion to you is to take time to heal. When you feel ready to date again, let the man know that you need to move very slowly so you can learn to trust him.

Answer 8

I can only tell you that I went threw about the same thing but I had nokids at the time. It took me about 9 years to trust again but It also was worty it I now have 3 kids and ahusband that i love and he feels the same way. I will tell you that it has to do with how you feel . You have to be very strong person and justed trust in yourself that you find the right person for you and your kids.

Answer 9

The ego mind believes that our salvation does not lie in loving everybody, but rather we start to believe that there is this perfect person which causes us to leave out the rest of mankind and to that extent you will be in hell no matter what they do if you wait long enough. The only way you can fill this void is not by making a connection with one special person, but rather healing your separation with God.

Answer 10

I went through a similar experience with my ex-wife. When I was finally ready to venture out into the dating world, I did it with one rule in mind: Don't waste your time with someone who isn't willing to treat you in a way that they would want to be treated. In other words, if you can look at someone's behavior and know that they wouldn't like it if you were treating them in a similar fashion, then it's time to move on with your life. It might take a while, and you might have to kiss a few frogs along the way, but eventually, you will meet someone who will treat you with all the dignity and respect you deserve and that they will want to be treated with in return. But rest assured there is life and true love after divorce! I found it with my current wife and I have never been happier in all my life. I am confident that you can find it too!