Should i forgive my wife for snooping?

Question

i have a briefcase, lock box and cell phone to myself and i have a myspace account and 2 email accounts. should my wife have access to all of this? more importantly, am i justified in being pissed that she looks through my personal things? yes, we're married, but i'm not rummaging through her belongings.

i have never cheated on her. we had a rough moment when we were engaged 7 years ago, but i thought it was resolved back then.

Answer 1

MAN UP !!

What kind of question is that? ****! Of course you forgive and let her know. However, let her know that you do not forget. She needs to allow you to have some space and you her.

Brother reverse psychology is the way to get her to back off but any solution will only be temporary. You will need to reinforce your position every now and then.

Also you chose to marry that woman so you have no privacy. You need to get a grip and you should have established boundaries before you married this person and found out what her personality was like before hand. So you get what you deserve.

You need reference Brother check out the site below. It's worth it.

Answer 2

If you have nothing to hide why get so angry? Lighten up, married folks should not have secrets from each other. What happens when you try to keep secrets from each other is exactly what your complaining about! Each partner has to know what the other ones doing all the time, it's called unconditional love.
Nothing is " personal " in the marriage bed, except for your toothbrush, underwear and so on.
Also it's a matter of trust and respect. That doesn't mean setting a watch-dog on each other, but rather not deliberately hiding anything from each other either.
I have a big tool-box under lock and key and I keep things in there that are important to me, not to my partner, but to me. My partner is aware of it and periodically I'll let my partner see what's in there or I will tell him about it. His curiosity is cured and he's confident that I'm not trying to pull a fast one on him. He's got so used to it sitting right in front of him and he won't even query what's in there.
But your wife sounds like she has a problem with trust. Have you given her any reason to not trust you? Perhaps you being overly protective of your personal stuff has given her reason to be suspicious of your doing's? Maybe offering her a glimpse into your personal stuff will reassure her that your on the " up and up " with her. After all marriage is " what's mine is yours and what's yours is mine " kinda thing, so to speak.
Justifiable in the fact that she went behind your back and poked threw your things, yes I would have to agree with you on that one. But like I said it sounds like she has an issue with trust. The better approach would have been to ask you if she could look and then I would have to side with her, because as I said before secrets are taboo in any solid relationship, privacy is another matter. Privacy is a matter of trust and respect and each partner should acknowledge the other in this regard. If a couple are open and honest with each other, this shouldn't be a problem.
I suggest some serious communication is in order, stop the criticizing and accusations and get it resolved, the sooner the better for all concerned.

Answer 3

Do you have anything to hide?If not,there is no reason for you to be pissed.It is a woman's nature to snoop around.She is your wife,she should be able to look in anything of your,my space,email accounts,lock box,anything,and be able to ask you about it and get an honest answer.You say personal things,your a married man.You shouldn't have any personal things that you have to keep from her.If she hid things from you,and you decided to go looking in her things.Would you expect her to be pissed if she had nothing to hide?Think about it.

Answer 4

You must have something to hide if you are all ticked about your wife checking out your private email accts and cell phone. But no she should not have access UNLESS you choose to give it to her.
However, maybe she's been snooping because you have given her a reason to snoop.

Answer 5

One can never go wrong with forgiving anyone for anything, but this MAY be a warning sign of something that is deeper in your relationship with your wife than losing your privacy, or her discovering what you plan to give her for Christmas 2006.
It should tell you that she is feeling "excluded" from some part of your life and you need to look hard at this and find out how to heal that rift, that sense of separation with her.
All of us women need to feel needed, appreciated, wanted, and above all else, the number ONE in your loving attentions.
If she has changed, gained weight, lost her figure, not been able to afford pretty clothes, or nails done, or hair done, and is feeling insecure (and for women it takes very little to shake us!)...then she may be feeling she needs to find out what is taking your attention away from her.
I was sorry I looked, not knowing would have been kinder, and I'd have less hurt but I did discover another woman's clothes in my husband's closet,
and dozens of condoms in his underwear drawer,
and HER handwriting in his daily planner,
and a hundred personal I LOVE YOU emails on his computer,
along with I miss YOU messages on the family telephone answering machine...so I HAD the handwriting on the WALL....
I will never know when he planned to tell me that he was leaving and moving in with her, a married woman, at that....
had I not packed my bags, loaded my car,
and left him in the middle of a horrible hurricane.
Honey, this is no soap opera, I lived it, it happened, and it was all because I looked where I oughtn't have, because he paid NO ATTENTION to ME, the supposed love of his life!
If you show her she has nothing to worry about, and pay some more attention, ask her what she wants from your relationship--follow her lead, and for crying out loud, just don't be upset with her.
We NICE-AND WE'VE GOT YOUR BACK-TYPE women get left, dumped, shafted and ignored more often than hits the news, so give it some careful consideration, and if you are having an affair, have the courtesy to divorce her BEFORE you drag another naked female form into your matrimonial bed.

Thanks, and this goes to any of you other MEN who are looking at these answers!!!

(He never rummaged through MY belongings either, and I left my heartwrenching diary out in plain view in HOPES that he would read how I felt so hurt and neglected and ignored...since we never TALKED about these things...but he "respected" my privacy, so he said, and I doubt he wanted to know what a failure he was at relaltionships, anyway)

Answer 6

She's probably snoop because you won't let her go through it and probably be too private about those things... If you don't have anything to hide why make a big deal of it unless you do have somehting to hide???

Answer 7

She probably only snoops because you make it such a big deal. If you were open ...after a while she will probably chill out.
I don't blame her..I would be the same way with my husband.
If you have nothing to hide it shouldn't bother you to give her all the passwords, etc.

Answer 8

You obviously have something to hide. What the hell do you need a myspace account for? Everyone KNOWS it's to meet people and get laid.

Answer 9

Everyone deserves private space. If you have nothing to hide, no problem, but it would aggravate me if my spouse snooped, because it would be a signal that she does not trust me.

Answer 10

Do you have something to hide? If not then why not let her have access to these things, it will keep her from snooping.