I am a 53 years old Asian woman with 3 kids. It is not that easy to find anyone. I am a fun loving person. I treat my kids like friends. I do not know if they like to share me with someone new.
2006-09-19 13:28:56 · 16 answers · asked by shiningstar2808 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
be patient the heart takes time yo heal. focus on your kids, and let things happen slowly
2006-09-19 13:31:17 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
At this time maybe it would be a good idea to have platonic relationships with a variety of men and women. Join some social groups that have similar interests with you. If you have recently lost your husband then you might want to join a grief support group to help you deal with that grief. If your kids are still at home, they may have issues with you bringing another man into the equation so soon after their father has passed away. Everyone is different in how they handle their grief. For some they can be self actuated and resolved within a few months for others it could be years. There is no normal for dealing with grief. You need to speak with your children and you all need to pull together and support one another and encourage one another.
2006-09-19 20:41:06 · answer #2 · answered by SunFun 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, your children will not want to share you with someone new. That is normal. They loved their father and cannot imagine anyone else taking his place.
To prepare them for the idea, talk to them sometimes. Any time you are feeling sad, don't hide it from them. Tell them how lonely and sad you are without their daddy. Say "I wish I could find someone like him, to make me happy again."
First of all, that gives them a chance (if they are old enough) to express their feelings about that. It's much better to discuss it before you meet someone, than wait until you do. Also, every time you mention it, it reinforces the message that you really need a partner to be happy.
Get on the internet and try online dating, it's the only way for older women to meet men.
2006-09-19 20:53:05 · answer #3 · answered by Kylie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Lady, if you husband passed, you may or may not find someone new. But, my mother died two years ago. She missed her 60th anniversary by two months. I was with both my parents when Mom died, and I'm certain it broke Dad's heart. But, he remarried 6 months later. I've got to admit though, that at 82, he doesn't have time for a long grieving process. Now, Dad is happy again, though he misses our Mom. I'm happy Dad found someone, and your kids too, will be glad if and when you find a new love. I'm sorry you lost your spouse, but don't think that it means you'll never love someone new.
2006-09-19 22:01:52 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No one is ever going to replace their Dad. Children are monumentally insensitive with regard to the feelings of anyone but themselves and so I think you may be in for some opposition but do NOT give in. Your feelings are paramount and no matter what the kids feel at first they will get over it sooner or later. Let's face it even in India a wife having to throw herself on her husband's funeral pyre is illegal these days.
2006-09-19 20:38:02 · answer #5 · answered by U.K.Export 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You did not mention the childrens ages, but it is likely that they simply want your hapiness. Younger children may not be as accepting of a new love interest of yours, but they older they get, the more they should see you not only has their mother but as being human as well. You also have to realize that you are eventually going to have to share those children with love interests of their own, and you should not deprive yourself future companionship in later life because of your children. Beleive me, they will learn to understand and eventually except as well as respect your desicion.
2006-09-19 20:40:43 · answer #6 · answered by taw121s 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Life goes on. Your children want you to be happy. They might resist initially, but will accept him when they see he treats you right.
Volunteer at church, join a health club, take up a hobby, learn to ballroom dance, etc. There are lots of ways to meet new people.
Good luck!
2006-09-19 20:54:47 · answer #7 · answered by ssbn598 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are also a woman and I am sure they would like to see you happy. Go slowly and if they see someone that is treating you well then they will be okay.
2006-09-19 21:23:31 · answer #8 · answered by GrnApl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, I think your kids probably have friends of their own, they don't need you as a friend. However, they do need you as a Mom, especially if they lost their dad. And as for finding love, let love find you. Be happy with yourself and self-sufficient, and your new soulmate will find you.
2006-09-19 20:34:56 · answer #9 · answered by hellokittyangel1999 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Even though you are a mother of three, bottem line, you are a woman. As a women you have the right to love again.
2006-09-19 20:31:02 · answer #10 · answered by Simply Lovely 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋