My husband has a job that takes him out of town sometimes 5 days at a time, leaving me to soley take care of our three young children,...maintaining the household etc. Oh by the way forgot to mention currently pregnant with our fourth child. We are in a new city where I have no family or friends or any sort of support system. Have asked him to look into other opportunities, he's closed minded to this.....WHAT SHOULD I DO?
2006-09-19 13:23:15 · 14 answers · asked by mtcmmommy 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Well I would suggest that you relax about it. And - more important you need to see that you change your life a bit so it does not evolve exclusively around your husband.
It sounds also a bit like your husband likes to be out of the house. I guess he would go nuts if he would be around more. You would have a lot of conflicts and in the end he would run away.
So try something else instead of wantimg him to be more at home. ...
How about....you could try to make new friends in your new city. There must be other women with children who you could hook up with. Perhaps a Babysitter-exchange....you could found it for example.
Before you were married - what were your hobbies? Is there anything you loved to do? And would still love to do? (Without your husband). Could be playing volleyball, golf, painting, making music...write a book?
You should look up a hobby which you can do with the kids.
Or - what a lot of women do - you could go out and work too and pay a nanny. This way you get an own life, which is very important. Your husband would have more interest to hang with you. And with your salary you can pay the nanny.
But overall what I am saying is that it is important for you and your marriage and your family that you do something else than just being there for the children and focusing on the husband. You need to find a source of confirmation and satisfaction too. That would make you a better mom and a better wife.
2006-09-19 13:40:41 · answer #1 · answered by spaceskating_girl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you love him, then absolutely stand by him. I just relocated to a new area for my husband;s job (military). I hate the fact that he is active duty, but I love him more. I also know no one and left behind a great job with great friends. Remember that men think differently than women do. He views his job as a way to support his family because he loves them and wants to protect and take care of them. I'm not saying you can't discuss your feelings about it with him, but if you're not careful you will send the message that he's not doing a good job. This will only make him upset and pull away from you more. Maybe try counseling and telling him there. Counseling can be good because it gives a mediator to the situation. Sometimes it takes that mediator to help the other person understand. If you do talk with him about it, just re-assure him that you love him and appreciate all that he does for you. Good luck.
2006-09-19 13:43:27 · answer #2 · answered by Mrs. Waiting 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmm, If you love him I think you will stand by him and his job. Even if it takes him out of town for a few days at a time. I dont like the field my husband is in, but he loves his job. And I love him therefore I stand beside him if I want to be with him. My husband is in the Army and has been gone 10 months and I'm left with taking care of everything, ballgames, cheerleading all the kid stuff and working full time. We moved here and 6 months later he deployed, I was left with not knowing a single person and my family is 600 miles away.
So to answer your question, yes I'd stand by my husband even though I DO NOT like the field he is in. But I'm talking military life also. I hope you find your answers. Take Care!
2006-09-19 13:33:59 · answer #3 · answered by AngWings 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Does he like his job? Is he making good money? Is it the kind of job that could lead to a better position in the future?
Remember, you are able to stay at home and take care of the kids because of the good-paying job he has. If not for his job, you would have to find a babysitter and get out of the house and actually work like the rest of the moms out there.
Maybe you need to figure out why you keep having kids if you cannot handle them when your husband is away on his job. Or maybe he took the job to keep him out of the house so he didn't go crazy with all those kids and you staying home all the time.
2006-09-19 13:48:36 · answer #4 · answered by physandchemteach 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's too much for you to cope with alone. You need a helper, a helpmate. You shouldn't have to shoulder the responsibility of raising your children alone when you have a husband. I'm sorry because that sounds like a lousy situation your in there=====pregnant, in a new city, no support system. That's just a really lousy hand to be dealt. Pray to the Lord for strength and comfort and just take it one day at a time. God Bless You.
2006-09-19 18:58:54 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't ask tell him. He gos out on the road to get away from home! He doesn't want the responsible of the family. Tell him that he either find a different job(where he will be home every night) or you"ll look for a different Husband. With 4 children,That will be a lot of Child support. You might what to point that out,too.
2006-09-19 13:34:40 · answer #6 · answered by whataboutme 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Would your situation improve if you were divorced? It sounds like he is happy with his job. Since you can't make him change jobs, I suggest you make an effort to find friends, maybe other moms. Use the phone or email to contact your own family so you don't feel so isolated. Tell your husband that you need help at home, either to clean for you or help you care for your kids.
Good Luck.
2006-09-19 13:33:04 · answer #7 · answered by Gypsy Girl 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
mtcmommy, First of all I would have to agree with the' richy' guy. Talk with you guy. Does your husbands company have a corporate foundation in your new city? If so, there has to be other wives in the corporate makeup. You need to connect with them. They have the same problems you do. Hook up with them. My wife and I were in this type of situation, but only military. We made it fourty-five years with four kids. One more thing, condoms, dear.
2006-09-19 13:46:36 · answer #8 · answered by pappyneil 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i think that your being unreasonable even though it is a headache
to deal with three kids and pregnant i bet its not a problem when the check comes and you get to go shopping and do all the things you want to do if it is somethingn that he loves stick by him and be happy that you have a HUSBAND that loves you and your kids that does for you and not just a BABY DADDY thats a dead beat
2006-09-19 13:34:20 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would stand beside my husband no matter what but ur pregnaunt he needs to take off a little bit
2006-09-19 13:28:55 · answer #10 · answered by sweetpea 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋