How long one can be loyal to her husband?

Question

I was married for 28 years. I met my husband when I was 13 years. We had 3 kids. During the marriage he had few relationship with married women. I have forgiven him because I valued my marriage also I loved him. Then he met one woman who used him for all her needs. They lived together and had child too. I tried to get him back. Waited for him to come home one day. But he never did. He never supported me with money or any other comfort after he met this woman. Then he was unwell and the woman found another man. Still my husband looked after her child than mine. There are time I didnot see my husband for 5 years and then once or twice in a year. some where in a restaurant with the kids. When he was very ill he wanted to come back. I did ask him to stay because of the kids. He knew the value of me the way I took care of him and the house. But god did not wish me to be happy. My husband passed away last year. I wanted to be a good wife and mother but just a good mother now.

Answer 1

I am alittle confused as to what you are actually asking? But if you are seeking "acceptance" for what you did, You did what you wanted to do, Bottom Line. You Loved him, unconditionally. THAT is what true love is all about, I'm sorry he hurt you with the affairs and whatnot, but in the end you won out, GOD did NOT intend for you to NOT be happy, You allowed yourself to be unhappy. You need to ask yourself this question, Had he NOT gotten sick, would he have come back? Probably NOT, You need to accept the fact he is GONE. WILL NOT COME BACK, CAN NOT come back, Get yourself some therapy to deal with your rejection issues then try looking on Yahoo Personals! Find someone that loves you for you! It works! Love yourself first, then others will love you...Good Luck!

Answer 2

I did what I had to do. What I felt I had to do in my heart. Not what others told me, or what I was taught God said. I told my husband the truth. I have to get a divorce. I will make you divorce me. I knew I could not be a good mother any other way. I also would have been dead if I had stayed with him. I had a different situation. When someone has walked in my shoes, then they can tell me what to do. "If you think you're right, never let anyone make you believe you're wrong." God gave us a brain, to use it. I don't care what others think. They are not in my head, and they don't know what goes on behind close doors. A person has to do, what they have to do, I was honest to my husband, he was the First to know. That was more respect than he gave me. I did the best I could at the time. Now I wish I had thought to do this, or that, but at that time, I didn't know how to do any better. We live, we learn, we grow. We give, we do the best we can. We hopefully change things for the better, more than we will ever know. I hope you can be Happy Now. Life is short. Please give what you can to others everyday. You can't change the past. I'd let it go. I'm sure you did the best you could. I could not have been that strong. Enjoy your Life now.

Answer 3

I'm sorry that he passed away, but he was never meant for you. You waisted half of your life chasing a man who never even cared for you. He saw you as a stepping stone. When he got sick, he knew which one of his women would nurse him back to health, so he took it because he knew he could do that to you. Then as soon as he got well, he was off to a new lady. You never needed him, you said so your self that you're a good woman. If anything, since he committed adultery on you, God punished him with death. You're getting ready to be blessed, God had to move the bad out of your life (even though you may have had some good times, he still treated you with disrespect, and you stronger than me, because even though you knew it, you took it...I would have been in jail!) sometimes, God moves people that we think are supposed to stay, you must let go in order to gain, and he was never the one for you. Be of good cheer, God was and is doing something miraculous for you. Analyze your situation, least you know he's not with different women now, and your heart can rest easy. All the women that he laid around with are going to come and apologize to you. It may take a while, but they will...even if they don't want to admit it. Watch and see. Just pray about it, and trust in God. Be blessed Sweetie.

Answer 4

Sweetie you did your job it is all over. You are alive and well and can have a second chance at life. If everything you wrote did go down like that then hats off to you you are an angel.God does want you to be happy but we live in a world where things does not go our way even though we deserve the best. Chin up sweetie you are not cheating he did enough for you. Good luck to you in the future.

Answer 5

Hi. Wow. You must feel very sad. But you should not feel that way because you did so many good things. You tried your best to be a faithful partner. You cared for your child. But now, you need to do one more thing. You need to to be kind to yourself. You are a good person. You deserve to be happy. It is not God who is punishing you. It is only the chances of any human life and the choices we make in living that life. Make wise choices now. Take good care of yourself and find your joy in each and every day.

Answer 6

First of all dont blame God. Things happen for a reason, this guy was a jerk who did not care at all about you or your feelings. Maybe God did not want you to be with him? God always restores what was lost. Read Job in the bible. I am sorry for your loss but, we have to trust God to know what is better for us. Understand one thing you are Gods little girl and like a father protecting his daugther so God does as well. God did not intend for you to be treated this way but, you allowed yourself to be treated that way. Know that God does love you but, you in return must love yourself. God also wants us to have healthy relationships not unheathly ones. Sometimes we go through things in life so that God can bring us to new levels. Trust in God not in Man. God does love you and does have your very best interest at heart always.

Answer 7

Where were you when I was looking to get married!? It's your turn to have fun! forget the past and just concentrate on what you want and need in your life! your kids, your home, your family, and forget the man! he's a putz! you can and will do better, all you have to do is see what's in front of your eyes already, EVERY man in the world would love to have a woman that would love them in that way, most like yours would take advantage of it, some wouldn't, and someone out there now who you know, is willing to give you that, search him out and enjoy your life!

Answer 8

The bible says you can marry after your husband dies so what are you waiting for let go of your late husband it sounds like he's been late anyways if he went outside of your marrage.
God wants you to be happy thats why in the bible it says that you can remarry if you husband cheats or if he passes away so go ahead remarry find someone that will be good to you unlike your late husband their are some Great men in this world.

Answer 9

You are to loyal, if he cheated once and you took him back, then he did it again and again and you took him back each time. No one man or women should put up with spouse like that. He is dead now, go ahead and move on. Maybe you will find a new man who is far better than the last.

Answer 10

What a tragic story.

I really think you could have done better, it sounds like you loved him alot more than he loved you back. Even though you forgave him I don't think he was truly sorry because he kept cheating on you. I think he went back to you because there was no one else. In my opinion, sorry to say, he was a user. Maybe he realized near the end how much he took you for granted.