what steps could i take to help me accept my dad nd his b/f.....i am asking thiz because i have never meant a gay person b-4 nd my dad just came out to me!
2006-09-19 12:53:07 · 18 answers · asked by Jazzi_Pha 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
The first step is to realize that he is your father and you will love him no matter what... the rest will come on its own.
2006-09-19 12:55:29 · answer #1 · answered by 2crooked 2b straight 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Just know he's always going to be your dad and he will always love you.
Know that his being gay is perfectly normal, but I'm sure you are a bit freaked out. It takes time to adjust when your whole world seems to have come to a screaching hault and you have to realign the way you see the world.
Know that your need for adjustment time is just as NORMAL and perfectly alright.
Remember that your dad only told you because he loves you and wants to teach you, by his example, how to be an honest person and to not be afraid of love. He's also showing you that people come in all packages, we're all different from one another, and that's ok too.
Maybe you should ask your dad to take you to a PFLAG group in your area. PFLAG = Parents, Friends and Family of Lesbians and Gays. It's a safe place where you can learn to accept, adjust and question all you want and you won't be judged for it.
Here's a link to the national PFLAG website. You can even search it yourself to find out where a local chapter is near you.
http://www.pflag.org/
This is the Chapter Resourse page:
http://www.pflag.org/Chapter_Information_and_Resources.chapter_resources.0.html
Good luck and always remember your Dad loves you, that's why he told you.
2006-09-20 00:50:32 · answer #2 · answered by DEATH 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Imagine that you wanted to tell your Dad something that was really important to you, but you were afraid that he would disapprove. In your mind, what would be the absolute best way that he could respond to you? Maybe with love, or a hug, or with happiness for you... whatever that best response would be, do the same to him.
He is your father; the most important man in your life. This is a chance for you to show him that he has done a good job raising you.
He must love you a lot to come out to you. Coming out to those you love is one of the most difficult, but important things a gay man can do.
All the best to you and your Dad.
2006-09-19 20:44:45 · answer #3 · answered by wicked64 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's going to take some time for you to get used to, he's still your dad and your relationship with him doesn't have to changed because he's gay. Continue to love him like you've always have, he's the same person but this is who he really is. Now he's being true to his sexual nature and i'm sure he's happier being out instead of being in the closet.
2006-09-19 20:31:17 · answer #4 · answered by What'd You Say? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Remember its your dad and nothing has changed there. Act like you have all your life, if you are affectionate with each other, continue that. If you talk every day then continue that. Don't let his personal life get in the way of your relationship with him.
Don't be afraid to tell him that there are things you just don't want to hear (like if they have a fight for instance), and don't be afraid to tell him that you want to take your time getting used to the situation. Don't be mean or smart mouthed to your dad and don't put him in a position where he has to choose.
You have an opportunity to have two men in you life to be dad's to you. I wouldn't waste it. Good luck and best wishes.
2006-09-20 01:10:39 · answer #5 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dear Jasmine
Why do you think he told you?
He told you because he didn't want you to hear it from somebody else.
His decision will have come after a long period of anxiety.
He will feel much better about himself now.
Gay people still love their kids. I do and I have 3.
One of my kids is still angry that I came out to her, and looking back at it I could have done it better. But it's done now.
Could you ask him to take you out to dinner one-on-one so that you could talk about it?
Both of you need to talk. He will want to tell how came to this conclusion, and you need reassuring that you are not going to lose your Dad.
P.S. your questions never mention anything about your Mom.
2006-09-19 20:05:05 · answer #6 · answered by Augusta B 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
your dad is the same person as he was before. just coz he is gay it doesnt mean he is bad or selfish or weird.
it is a big step for someone to come out as gay. if u love ur father and want him to be happy you should support him and try to come to terms with his homosexuality. dont listen to anyone that tells u it is a sin, coz its not. he is just like everyone else, but he wants to be with a man, not a woman
2006-09-19 20:11:39 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
If he was a good father to you and you love him then you should realize that he's still the same person he's always been. Just a little happier because he doesn't have to hide who he is.
Tammi Dee
2006-09-19 20:06:18 · answer #8 · answered by tammidee10 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
realize that he's still your dad he hasn't changed just let you in a bit more and that it wasn't easy for him. i'm sure his love for you hasn't changed at all. and understand that gay ppl are still people they are no more different than anyother person. he's the same man he's been only now you know hes gay
2006-09-19 20:05:44 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
perhaps you should check and see if PFLAG has any meetings near you. it is a group for Parents and Friends of Lesbians And Gays.
2006-09-19 22:44:51 · answer #10 · answered by redcatt63 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋