Help! How do I get this kid to stop coming over?

Question

We just moved to the neighborhood in Feburary, so I'm still getting to know people. I was warned about a little boy who is 8 yrs. old and sexually asaulted an 11 yr old while he was sleeping when he spent the night at his house. He aslo said some pretty sexual things to him. When the 11 yr olds mother confronted the 8 yr olds parents they seem pretty non chalant about it. Well all the other parents have stopped letting this kid come around. Well guess what? He showed up at my door yesterday to play with my 6 yr old daughter. They ride the same bus to school. Not really knowing who he was I let them play together. I just found out HE's The 8 yr old in question.
So now how do I get this kid to not come around anymore without hurting his feelings? He's been nothing but polite when he's here, but I'm not willing to risk something happening to my kids before I chase him off, but like I said he's 8. I can't be mean to him.

I do have control over my houshold. I don't want to make this kid feel any worse. He obviously had a tough life to be acting out like this at this age. That said I don't want him doing it to my kids.

Answer 1

Well, I dont think chasing him off is the answer. I believe you just have to monitor him when he is around your daughter. You have to take into consideration your daughter's feelings since she seems to consider him a friend.

Also, I would suggest talking to your daughter about what he is capable of and let her know to inform you should the kid tries to get out of hand.

Answer 2

It's sad.....how do you know that this is something that really happened. It's been my experience that sometimes parents who are spiteful, jealous or just plan don't like another person in the neighborhood will take it out on the children too. Or even worst, to ostracize the family all together from the rest of neighborhood will come up with mean things about their children...such as so and so's child is so rude guess what he did today.....

Sexual assault would be a sure fire way to ostracize the family. Or maybe this little boy did do that, but maybe he's being sexually abused himself by a family member and he thinks it o.k. Instead of the rest of the neighborhood maybe helping this little boy you're just feeding him the wolves.

You know everyone always feels sooooooo bad when they hear about this sort of stuff on the news, but why doesn't anyone do anything about when they are faced with a warning sign? 8 yr old's don't know about sexual acts and sexual things to say unless if they are hearing it from somewhere. And if that's the case then quite possibly you could see this kid in 10 yrs on Murray claiming he was sexually abused all his life and no one did anything about it and he didn't know where to turn for help.

Answer 3

It's tough to believe an 8 year can sexually assault someone. I wonder if that 'incident' has been allowed to take on a life of it's own and turn into something it wasn't.

I would ask the other folks on the street why they don't let him come over, like you said he's well behaved. Then maybe follow up with the boy's parents.

I have a 6 year old, and they do some weird things, usually doesn't mean anything.

In the end, though, your daughter comes first. If your not comfortable with it, don't worry about hurting his feelings, he'll live.

Answer 4

After what you said you are worried about hurting his feelings? This kid has obvious problems and do you want your daughter molested by him if she has not already been?

You need to contact his parent(s) and tell them that because of what you have heard, you are worried about your daughters safety, and would they please keep their child at home and suggest therapy for him and the family he belongs to.

The last thing I would be worried about is hurting his feelings, I would be more worried about my daughter and the other children's safety. I would also call Child Protective Services and ask them to intervene. This kid has problems that are not being addressed. He is a sure shoe in as a pedophile when he gets older if he doesn't get the help he needs now!

Answer 5

This is a touchy situation, but as long as you are watching them, and encouraging constructive and positive behavior, it should be ok. It's not really fair to be blaming an 8yo kid. He might have been sexually assaulted by an adult, seriously 8yo are not supposed to even know about sex.

Give him a chance, he needs friends too! and keep your watchful eye over your child. That's what a good parent would do.

Answer 6

If your going to keep letting him come over which you will probably have to do since there is no real nice way to tell him to quit. Don't let leave them alone with out supervision..But since it was a little boy he sexually assaulted your daughter may not have to worry.

Answer 7

Whatever you do, protect your child first, this kids feelings are no concern of your to begin with since he obviously has no concern for anyone elses! Tell him to go away and be honest with yourself and you children.

Answer 8

well you should tell the kids parents and get the kid some help and if that doesn't work than maybe you should move away.
seriously
(if that doesn't work than put a restraining order against him)

Answer 9

Just tell him you don't want him interacting with your kids. Don't wait until one of your kids tell you he said something inappropriate
or did something inappropriate to them. If that happens then you'll really be pissed, so prevent it before it happens.

Answer 10

tell him that ur daughter is busy when he comes next time and that should give u more time to think. sry i dont have anything else right now