Please help :)?

Question

help me, my friend has had a boyfriend for like one month, she is 18 and they are engaged to be married in 7 years, i feel as though she has abandoned me. I always call and she is with him. She can never hang out with me anymore. To make matters worse, im not aloud to be with her boyfriend and her because he's 18 and im 16. I try to plan things, but when i keep askin her to spend the night or whatever she forgets to ask her mom, or she already has something planned with him. I tried to talk to her about it but she just said she was really busy. I haven't seen her outside of school for 4 months. We have known each other for 11 years. What should i do?

Answer 1

I am sorry but your friend is INSANE!!

Answer 2

The first thing that I find extremely weird is that they are engaged at 18 years. I don't think that anyone has enough experience at that age to tell whether or not their boyfriend/fiance is the right person for them.

Unless they have a super special relationship, I would say that most likely they will not be together in 7 years. It's highly unlikely, with all of the changes they will be experiencing as they go into college.

To do with the friendship part: I think you have to state what you think right away. Tell her how you feel.

They are not a married couple yet, and she should not spend all of her time with her fiance. She needs "girl time," too. :) Don't be afraid of hurting her feelings. If she takes your question (Why don't you hang out with me anymore?) offensively, it means that she's never been a true friend...

Do what you think is right and remember, if she's a real friend, she'll be there for you forever.

Answer 3

just back off for right now. a new relationship is like a child with candy they have to eat it all at one time. the newness will wear off after a while or she will find she is not so in "love" with him after a while (especially with a 7yr engagement). find someone new to hang out with for a while and give her some breathing room. She probably feels as if you are making her choose between you and him. Drop her a small letter and tell her that you will always consider her a friend but you understand there is a guy in her life now and to give you a call when she is ready. More than likely this relationship will end soon and she will need a true friend to be by her side.

Answer 4

Just let your friend have some space. Her life will be busier now that she has a man. When you get a boyfriend, you will have similar difficulties in allocating as much time with your friends after you get a boyfriend.

Try not to take it personally. Your friend still cares a lot about you. In the short term, let her contact you, but if she doesn't, leave friendly card to her or something like that to remind her that you still care for her as a friend.

Sometimes, when a person gets a new boyfriend, she becomes more private. This might be to protect her boyfriend from getting a reputation. Do not take this personally. Respect her privacy and she'll be a closer friend with you for an even longer time.

Answer 5

engaged after a month? does she have a bad relationship with her father... she probably just wants a guy to be a provider figure. as for you and her, once she gets tired of sitting around and waiting for her boyfriend all of the time she'll give you a call, other than that everything is normal and just something you'll have to deal with... girls almost always desert their girlfriends when the get a boyfriend and fall in love. my suggestion would be to keep the communication open and hang out with other friends in the mean time.

Answer 6

Engaged to be married in seven years????? Something not kosher here for sure.
You should find some friends that are 15 or 16 and stick with them. 18 is too old for you to hang with. At 18 they are doing things that a 16 year old should not be doing, mainly getting engaged to be wed in seven years.

Answer 7

Keep on trying to get together and do stuff. If that doesn;t work then talk to her one on one. If it still doesn't work just give up on her. You need a friend who will be there 4 u anytime of the day or night. Not someone who will ditch u 4 her BF or Fiance. They r taking things way to fast. Watch. When she wants to talk to you you'll have new friends and you won't want to get caught up with her If all she does is want to talk to you when she has probs.

Answer 8

Well it is truly sad because the same thing happened to my daughter... We had Katie in our lives for 11 years also and then she met this boy and we really never saw her again... It was like barily.. She made excuses not to see my daughter and kept saying her mom said no but she was really with him... It went on for almost a year and finally and slowly my daughter let go....About a year later Katie and her boyfriend broke up but the friendship never was the same. Its sad but I guess a part of life because we all grow up and move on.... My daughter told me to tell you to find new friends and the pain will start going away

Answer 9

Engaged to be married in 7 years? After only one month of dating??? LOL!!!! Holy Cow! Thats a good one.
Anyway, there is no way you are getting your friend back until he dumps her, and Yes, It Will Happen. Then she will need you, and you can say, "Where were you for the last month?" LOL

Answer 10

Let her have her space. Come on, do you really think they are going to be married in 7 years?

In 7 years she wont even be able to remember his last name, if she can remember his first name. Be a friend. She will need you there when this falls apart as it most assuredly will.

Answer 11

Understand that she's "in love" right now and nothing much can distract her at this point. Leave her alone and she'll come around when she comes down off the high. It prolly wont be the same for you and her because he's in the picture now but you can still be close friends.