if there is a God, then why doesn't he answer my prayers regarding my marriage? i pray for my marriage to be normal, loving, and strong. i never have felt secure with this marriage. i deserve a good marriage like everyone else. i don't feel loved in this marriage, and yet i love with everything i got. i asked God, to please help me stop loving him so i can walk away, because i am so weak when it comes to him. he would leave me at the drop of a hat if i made him mad. 9 years i have been married and i can never leave. i seem to love him more than ever and i hate that i can't do the same thing he can do. i don't have any closeness with family of my own, and there is no way that will ever change. i have no friends because i am always working. he has family and friends. i am a great person and i am not ugly, and yet i never feel good enough for him. ill do anything to please him. what can i do ?
2006-09-19 12:23:45 · 22 answers · asked by mercedes1 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
please dont give cruel and vicious answers.
2006-09-19 12:27:14 · update #1
i just want to say thanks to all for your answers. i am finding much comfort in them. i appreciate any advice you can give me.
2006-09-19 12:56:10 · update #2
Let's play pretend...
"Hi! God here! Sorry, it took me a while to get back to you. Things have been busy. I listen to your prayers sweetheart. I will always love you. You are a beautiful creation in my eyes, and I can't wait to see what you will become, and to watch you tell your story.
Now, as to the marriage. I'm sorry, it will never be perfect. In fact, just as an aside. Happiness is not, and never will be a constant. And what happiness you will have, you have to work for, and allow yourself to experience. Now, you asked me to help you stop loving him. Sorry kiddo. I am love. It's what I do! I even love killers, and hitler, and your 3rd grade bully. But loving someone, and allowing them to mistreat you, you cannot allow. Because just as I want you to love all the more...I want you to love yourself. It's a hard concept. I am a part of everything. You are a part of me. When you stop and listen, when you act on your higher nature, when you stop and love...then we are one.
Here's what I want you to do. Go get some counseling...find a good counselor you can relate to. Find some Anamchara...some soul-friends...people who seem wise to you, who know you, and who will give you honest advice. Oh, and understand that each Anam-chara will give you a different view...so know which one to go to for the right answers at the right time.
Finally, the big question...why do I do what I do. Mankind has been wrestling with this one for a looong time. Here's the short answer. I'm really, really big. Just like cave-men did not have all the answers, your scientists still don't have all the answers. {But I love it as they learn all about the universe.} I'm not just a big old white guy. I'm a dolphin, a baby, a crochety old russian woman. You and I are like a beautiful flower, a firework explosion, a childs first drawing...we are potential, expanding out to become a universe of love and exploration. And I cannot stop you from choosing however you want to live. And pain is a part of the equation, because without loss, without pain, without trial, we cannot challenge what is beauty, truth and love.
I want you to be the best you can be. Here's some quick guidelines...1. Love. The more you love, the more you can love. 2. Don't live in fear. Sadness is natural, so don't fear it, and don't let it turn to anger. 3. Listen and look for me. Listen to yourself. I am there. And I love you.
So. It would please me, Almighty God, creator of purr's, crunchy apples, and baby laughs, co-inventor of chocolate, and hot showers, and squeaky toys, if you would take the steps to give up this world of pain. You need to change your life. I can only help you when you choose a path.
I will be there for you. You will be suprised just how quickly things can go your way, when you are being you, and striving to live, love, and learn. There will be hardships, but you can deal with it. I've already seen you deal with so much.
Oh, and yes...I built him that way...what was I thinking? Oy! ;)
Love you...God
2006-09-19 12:57:07 · answer #1 · answered by Sad-Dad 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yes there is a God, He is a good and a fair and a just God! God loves you very much. Perhaps you need some Christian counseling, in that you are very insecure person yourself! Nine years sounds like a good marriage. You are not praying right...you said you are praying for a normal, loving, strong marriage...you have that! It is normal to feel insecure from time to time, it is normal not to have time for friends or family being a woman who works outside the home and is a dedicated wife at the same time. What ever you are comparing to being loving...I don't have a clue. Perhaps you are overly sensitive...and perhaps he is does not know what you need from him to feel loved. And a strong marriage...you seem to weathering that well!
So most of your answers will come through some good Christian Counseling...choose a male counselor and not a female counselor so he can help you in your relationship. If you choose a female she may be able to help you ....but not truly with the help you need. You need the insights of a male counselor to be happier in your relationship with your hubby. Being married is a gift from God...it is a JOB from God that he has blessed you with...keep giving it 100% and it will be all it can be...with or without much effort from your spouse...Your prayer should be that you will become a better Christian, and that your spouse will too...then once you get that in order then perhaps your marriage will feel more secure...Put God first and He will bless you and your marriage greatly!
2006-09-19 20:23:04 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
1) You have low self-esteem. You need validation. You must try harder to make friends. You could volunteer more at church to meet more people, join a team sport, take up ballroom dancing, etc. You sound like a GREAT person. You just need to see it in yourself and make more friends.
2) You don't feel loved so why do you remain in the marriage? He hasn't changed, even with all the love you've given him. Your love will NOT change him because he doesn't want to change.
3) Prayer is good, but you must help yourself out of this one.
Make new friends. Work on your self-confidence. Leave him.
Good luck.
2006-09-19 19:49:04 · answer #3 · answered by ssbn598 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
for one, both of you have to be in tune with god, and you both have to love each other. god has always had in mind for you the perfect person, but sometimes we do not marry that person. still, through god, anything is possible, and this could be a successful marriage. in the Bible it says, "no one comes to the father except through me" this says that without God, we are nothing. so you must put him first and for most for this to be a successful marriage. your husband needs to realize that you love him, and that you live God, and show it. If you do not go to church, that would be a good start. get involved with Christian people, and read a bible. I know that is what everyone always says, but in order to get closer to God, you have to do it. Besides, it can be interesting. God does answer prayers, but at the right time, his time, and only he knows when. his time is not always your time. Be patient. Do not give up, and keep trying. I will pray for you.
2006-09-19 19:35:57 · answer #4 · answered by Longshot 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
All prayers are always answered. Sometimes you may not feel this way, because the answer comes in unexpected ways. Perhaps you receive an intuitive feeling or a new opportunity appears-or a book falls off the shelf. Prayers very often are answered by giving us ideas and information in everyday ways. Be extra observant, notice everything you hear, say, think, and feel. Be especially alert to help that comes to you, and be sure to accept it. Many times God enlists people to act as Earth angels who bring answer to our prayers.
2006-09-20 06:36:08 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
How do you know THIS is right for you MAYBE IT'S NOT WORKING 4 A VERY GOOD REASON!. EXAMPLE from my personal life in my 8 year marriage we tried the last 3.5 years to conceive our 3rd baby. I went on fertility meds PRAYED BEGGED i got pregnant the heart stopped at 10 weeks i was so mad that GOD did that. We were divorced the next year I now have two kids he never calls never supports my ex got with a girl who lives 6 hours away HE NEVER calls the kids never a Christmas card THEY WERE PLANNED KIDS. I did not see it then that WITH the loss GOD KNEW what he was doing. I still grieve that loss i know my plans and GODS plans were different. I'm remarried we got pregnant unplanned no fertility meds I'm almost 7 months now.
2006-09-19 19:31:21 · answer #6 · answered by ally'smom 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
#1 Get a backbone.
#2 Understand that God will not interfere with someone's agency (ability to choose).
#3 God has answered your prayer by giving the feeling that you are not in the right marriage.
#4 Get some counseling, ASAP to help you sort out your feelings and get the strength to leave him.
#5 Learn to love yourself, because that is the implied second commandment (ie. love thy neighbor as thyself). You cannot really love someone until you learn to love yourself. You may think you are loving your husband but in reality you may be just enabling an abuser to continue in his ways.
Good luck!
2006-09-19 19:33:35 · answer #7 · answered by Professor 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Honey, God answered your prayer. No is a valid answer. Go to a good marriage counselor and get advice. You do not need to take this abuse. You do deserve a loving marriage. If I were a professional counselor I would tell you to throw him out and go for a good and happy relationship. Good luck dear. God bless you.
2006-09-19 19:32:24 · answer #8 · answered by swarr2001 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
In the first place you must remember that we live on Gods time and he doesnt make mistakes and if you pray and believe in him and hold on a change will come but you are showing God that you have doubts and because of how miserable you are in your marriage you are also showing that you dont have faith in God also you must remember that if something in our lives isnt good for us God will take it out of our lives but you have to wait on him and keep the faith remember God brought you to and he will bring you through it and you will find the joy that you deserve and need you have to keep Praying be blessed.Gods got a plan for you but without God in our daily plans there's no plan.
2006-09-19 19:37:30 · answer #9 · answered by CaliMa 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Have you ever considered that your happiness lies in your own hands? It's fully within your power to walk away from a relationship that makes you deeply unhappy. Stop praying and start acting. You can make a change in your life with love and support from your family and friends, you just have to believe in yourself. You are a real breathing human being, but to date no one had seen god, and has no proof of his existence except in the heads of people who believe in him. Ground yourself in reality, and you will succeed. Good luck.
2006-09-19 19:43:37 · answer #10 · answered by Sandy Ego 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋