My husband never touches me, should i leave him?

Question

We've only been married a little over a year, but my husband very rarely ever says anything nice to me and he barely ever even smiles at me. I told him how much this was bothering me and he thinks i'm just over reacting and to get over it. I still love him and i know deep down he loves me too. I don't know if his behavior is normal or if it is something i should worry about. Advice?

Also, i get turned down a lot when i touch him and tell him let's go have some fun.

Answer 1

Does he EVER suggest anything? If not, there may be a problem.
If it's just not when you want it, that seems normal.

My husband is very non-affectionate and I just had to finally realize he is that way. I like being touchy and holding hands, he doesn't, but he will sometimes because he knows I like to.
Tell him you are trying to be accepting, but need to be shown he loves you sometimes. I think most men in general are this way, at least 99% of the men I know and hear about.
They just aren't into being romantic like women.

Answer 2

Some men are not good at being intimate at all. How was he when you were dating? Anyways, they do change after marriage.

If you are still young and can find someone else, you can and should consider leaving/divorcing him. However, if you are not confident of finding someone else, the best bet is to stick to him. Accept him for what he is and live out your lives like this. No marriages are perfect and neither is yours. If he is responsible and faithful, be thankful for that. Learn to be happy and have hobbies of your own . Since he thinks it's ok not to smile or touch you, then do the same to him. Do the tit for tat in whatever he does to you. I won't tell you to be touchy feely or lovey dovey with him because I am sure you have tried that to no avail.

One more thing......does he suspect you might have been unfaithful to him in the past? Were you unfaithful? If not forget about this question.
The other reason could be he is having an affair.

Answer 3

What was he like before you were married? Was he affectionate? Did he compliment you? Did he flirt with you? Did he touch you? If he seemed "normal" before the marriage and is different now, then maybe:

1) He's stressed.
2) He has a lover.
3) He is gay.

If he was like this all along, then you must get used to this. People take a long time to change. Years. Maybe he was abused when he was younger? You might look into some therapy for the two of you.

Good luck.

Answer 4

If he treated you this way before you got married, then I don't see a problem, becuase you accepted this a while ago. If this is totally out of character then you really need to have a serious talk with him. This is not acceptable. This is a serious problem, becuase you are not happy. Marriage is about being with the person you love and and being happy with that person. He just maybe comfortable with the relationship and where it is at the moment. The underlining fact is that if you're not comfortable with where you're at, it's your responsibility to let him know the seriousness of it. Be real with your feelings and follow your instinct.

Answer 5

I had this same problem with my daughter's father, we just recently broke up because I did not get any affection from him I want to be able to feel loved you know a kiss here and hold hands snuggle together kiss eachother goodbye and stuff but no the only love I got from him was in the bedroom and I got tired of that becuse I did not feel affectionate from him and it hurts and it ruins the relationship, what I would do is talk with him let him know how you feel and what you want.

Answer 6

Has he always been this way? He might just be very reserved; there's nothing you can do to change that. It would be something you'd just have to accept about him, some people are just this way. I tend to be fairly reserved, and my fiancé is even more so; we get along splendidly; the most important thing is that I can count on him through thick and thin, not whether or not he showers me with hugs and kisses all the time (actually, this would be kind of sickening).

Answer 7

Lol. No it is quite abnormal. Why would you marry someone like that? If someone only loves you "deep down" then they don't really love you. They love themselves more. The harder you have to look to find affection the less there is. It is something that you should address quickly, preferably with an ultamatium.

AND USE BIRTH CONTROL EVERY TIME! this thing ain't looking like it's going to last!

Answer 8

This was one of the many problems of my relationship from the past. He didn't enjoy cuddling or touching. He stayed up most of the night talking to girls in france about bob dylan online.

I came to the painful realization (or the freeing one) that I need touching or I will go mad... I got out before I had an affair knowing that there are things that we need... human touch is one of them... some of us need touch more than others... its a sign of feeling loved and needed. That is NORMAL for human beings...

some people don't need it so much or they need other forms of love.

My ex would throw my hands off him... he hated it. So I left.

Answer 9

It has actually gotten pretty common lack of sex drive and it usually makes men less affectionate. You can suggest a doctor if he is not feeling that way, there is a tea for this problem also. The tea is not an everyday use can cause heart problems. I would try to talk some more and see what his specific problems is.

Answer 10

You should definitely address this issue because it is a red flag. He may be taken you for granted. He needs to know that you need to be touched and romanced. That's his job. Just like you need to stroke his ego and make dinners. I know, I learned this the hard way and we guys just tend to get lazy but I'll tell you one thing. When I get concerned about losing her I get my act together. It doesn't mean he doesn't love you. He just need a wake up call. I highly recommend you go the a good counselor to take the right steps.
God bless.