We've been married for quite a while and have endured everything life dished out. Three kids, a mortgage, the American dream. But we didn't put each other first and drifted irreparibly apart. Counseling, talking, nothing worked. People change, we did too. Now my oldest daughter had a baby and guess who they're living with. The other two are little hellions that get away with murder. When I try to intervene, I'm "an a**hole". It's totally out of control. What little affection I used to get has now gone into negeatve numbers. I'm a passionate, imaginative romantic and I'm literally dyin here. I'm just a gardener, yard man and a paycheck to all of them, and I don't think my wife loves me anymore. She might even be having an affair because she sure doesn't need anything from me. I'm CRAZY lonely. What should I do?
2006-09-19 12:04:50 · 14 answers · asked by Mike 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Don't waste your life being miserable. Packing a bag just might be the wake up call mom (and daughter) need. There are plenty of women looking for a good man like you (like me). They are hard to find in this day and age.
Good luck
2006-09-19 12:16:25 · answer #1 · answered by mickeyg1958 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well Darlin' it takes two opposing forces to have a conflict and it takes two people to drift apart...both parents need to take responsibility for their equal roles in the problems and the conflicts...If you're always treated like you're the a.ss.hole because you try to set rules and boundaries...treat her like the w.h.ore she is for trying so hard to buy the kids affection and make you the bad guy. Take control of the finances. A gift card from the grocery store that you put money on is a wonderful way to start. Take control of the checkbook and remove all the extras from the little hellions lives. Sell all the TVs and electronics in the house like PlayStation's and stereos and so on. When they act more mature they can be rewarded...until then, they can read books and broaden their vocabularies. the money you make from selling all the hellions crap can be used to put the daughter and grandchild in a apartment of their own. You didn't knock her up and she's no longer your responsibility. She's in an adult situation now and needs to start being an adult and taking responsibility for herself.
2006-09-19 12:25:19 · answer #2 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you are in a unhealthy relationship, which it appears you are, you would be best to get out of it now. you will have so much stress eating at you everyday, that it will just make your heart hurt worse. Sometimes it's better to end something now, or else it could get even worse if you don't. Do whats best for you, but sounds like your a good person, and the kids will understand that eventually. Good Luck
2006-09-19 12:16:52 · answer #3 · answered by aswingerof2 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't beat your self up over this.. your wife is being totally uncaring and you need a life , if you really feel she is having an affair . ask her. and tell her how you really feel about the relationship between you and her. Don't be pushed around any more.. Take the marriage at its values and the feelings you have for your wife if their are no good values then let her know you are thinking about leaving.
2006-09-19 12:26:14 · answer #4 · answered by StarShine G 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you are still IN LOVE with your wife, take a break from the whole thing and date each other. I mean seperate housing. This may bring the romance back into the relationship. If there is nothing left but obligation & responsibility move on with your life
2006-09-19 12:20:02 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You got one go around on this planet, you better make it count. Sounds like you need and deserve attention and love...I think you would be doing no favors to anyone to stay in an unhappy marriage, get out and find what you really deserve!
2006-09-19 12:11:08 · answer #6 · answered by Jo G 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You already know the answer.
It's sad, people grow and change, but when a marriage doesn't grow and change then the couple drifts apart. I'm sorry you are going through this
2006-09-19 12:17:47 · answer #7 · answered by Dre 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop whining and get out of the marriage and make a new life for yourself. If you stay......you have nothing to complain about!
2006-09-19 12:11:58 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take her out somewhere. Buy her flowers, open doors, and just romance the Hell out of her.
2006-09-19 12:10:57 · answer #9 · answered by jenlovely01 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your kids are grown - get out. She obviously doesn't want to be your partner anymore.
FP
2006-09-19 12:15:23 · answer #10 · answered by F. Perdurabo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋